Hello everyone, the purpose of this post is to see if anyone is in the same situation I am in and being provided (hopefully) with advices. Ever since I can remember I have never been interested in sex, only in a particular fetish (probably because of some trauma I can (not too clearly) remember). I started masturbating at 14 to such fetish, however I did so by rubbing my genitalia while still wearing pants. This went on for 3-4 years until I "learned" to do it the normal healthier way. I had never felt any interest in sex until this point in life, and I should also add that I never felt interested in conventional body parts, like asses and boobs. I cannot get aroused simply by a picture of a hot girl, neither I can by watching vanilla porn. In fact, while hanging out with friends many of them point at "hot" women, saying stuff like "have you seen her ass?" (I know not very polite) and every time I am clueless and don't understand their behaviour. It always seemed to me that I am attracted not to bodies but to the "aesthetic" and "vibe" of a person. Years passed and I got in a relationship, I thought that at this point sex would have come natural to me, but it didn't, I fail to get aroused unless my paraphilia is involved, needless to say this casues problems and stress. I do occasionally get aroused with non sexual intimacy, but that's it, that feels more like a reaction to a feeling of "warmth" and love rather than to the other's person body. Anyone is experiencing something similar? I would love to know I'm not the only one. I should add that I went to therapy, the therapist said that he could try to "undo" my fetish but warned me that it didn't mean developing an interest in sex, which he believed would be hard to develop at this point, in fact he advised me to just accept myself and go on, since there are people out there looking for non sexual romantic relationships. However all of this doesn't sit right with me, I want to see more clearly what my "issues" are. I also think I am somewhere on the autism spectrum (not officially diagnosed), because whenever I look at informatives websites I find them very relatable, which of course is nowhere near a real dignosis. If you have read so far, thank you!
I experience this exact thing. My fetish started back when I was like 6 or 7. Back then it wasn't sexual, of course, it was just something I was interested in and thought about a lot. I used to play tie-up-games with friends and I got very interested whenever someone got tied up on TV. At puberty that kind of became my sexuality. I was interested in trying sex, but then when I finally did it with my first long-term girlfriend, it really didn't do it for me. Sure the O at the end was nice, but the rest was just gross and uncomfortable. Several years later, my current girlfriend suggested that I might be asexual, so I went to see a sex therapist and we came to the same conclusion. Here's a handy link if you want to look into it yourself: https://asexuality.org/?q=attitudes.html As to whether it's a trauma thing or some developmental issue, who knows, but it is what it is.
