Plans are nothing, planning is everything: My self-improvement Challenges

Hi. In this thread I will be posting my self-development challenges. The idea is that I'm not quitting porn but I'm building a better life where porn just doesn't make sense.

I will update this first entry to outline my history of challenges. Check out this introductory thread and my journal for more context.

Those challenges mare meant to incrementally build habits and develop me over time. I'll be starting small because starting big never worked long term. If you guys have any comments or want to use this, feel free to share.

Some things I hope to implement over time:

Spoiler: Health (having more energy)

- Weight lifting
- Meditation
- Regular sleeping
- Cooking
- Cold exposure
- Cardio

Spoiler: Hobbies (enjoying the world)

- Guitar+Singing
- Dancing
- Reading (both the fictional and not fictional)

Spoiler: Work (serving the world)

- Task management system
- Time blocking
- Reading scientific papers
- Taking courses/learning new Machine Learning stuff

Spoiler: Deeper (connecting with higher values)

- Socialising - making and caring for meaningful relationships
- Reading the scripture daily
- Daily mass
- Daily examination of conscience

 

Basics
This is my first personal challenge and hopefully more will come. With this first challenge I want to provide a foundation. Lots of those things I have been already been doing on and off, but it's time to be precise.

Challenge features:
- Has to be the most optimal way to spend my effort
- Has to be doable anywhere
- Has to be maximally enjoyable so that I want to do it

So basically I'm trying to make this as comprehensive as possible, while keeping it very simple and easy. I decided to limit myself to 3 habits I want to build with this Basics challenge. Believe me, I wanted to do more.

Time: 31st of January until 1st of March (30 days)

I will be away for midterm break mid-February and during that time it will be hard to follow the second point. I will try but I might not have a way to do it.​

1. 30 min cardio/day: do half an hour of zone 2 cardio in the morning before starting work. This can literally be going for an intense walk. I will track my cardio sessions in my Polar fitness app and report them in my personal log.

I am going to implement this basic routine to get myself energised in the morning. This will hopefully help my daily routine, sleeping better, eating better and increase my overall energy​

2. 1 pomodorro/day: do at least one uninterrupted pomodorro session on the most important and urgent tasks. Optimally I would do this in the morning, after my cardio session and breakfast. I will track my work sessions with Toggl track and report them in my personal log.

I need to work towards having a basic level of productivity. I need to keep it very very basic so that those sessions are enjoyable and I feel good about doing them. It's very important I do those to feel I am competent and in control of my life.​

3. Honest inventory/day: at the end of the day, I will make a point to make an honest inventory of how it went and if possible, share it in an honest conversation with another human. The inventory will consist of things i am grateful for and things that I regret. I will also set a Most Important Task for the next day. When talking with someone, it should be a conversation where I can hope to receive compassion and understanding. It will be a two-way conversation where I will also listen and build a connection.

I believe one of the most important things in addiction is meaningfully connecting with others. I am lucky to have a girlfriend and several friends I can share my struggles with.​

4. Going offline:
- Limit notifications: I am going to block all notifications from messaging/email apps, excluding my gf, family and closest friends. I will limit my time using them during the day to have about a single session answering everyone at once.
- Limit screentime: What is more, I will block my phone even more to have only the basic calling/texting functionality from the 8pm evening to 10am the next day. No browser, no reading, no nothing. A dumb phone. Also, a max of 2 hours of phone use per day.

This is slightly cheating my 3 habit rule, but it's not really doing something - it's not doing something, that's why I allowed this in. I will keep a counter for this in my personal logs. I'm doing this because the cheap entertainment makes me crave the high, and also because being constantly connected doesn't allow me to truly rest.​

 

Challenge #2: Balloon
Flying balloons is a theme of this challenge. I want to cut off and throw away unnecessary weight I have on board, and fly. I don't know where yet, but I will figure this out later.

Previous challenge summary
The last challenge didn't go so well. I left for vacation by the third week, and I never really returned to the routine since then. Also, my goals were not very clearly defined, like I had a goal of doing a pomodorro to do some work, but should I count having meetings for the whole day as a succesful pomodorro?

Spoiler: Challenge #1 Stats

Pomodorro:
⬛✅✅✅✅✅✅|❌❌✅✅❌✅⬛|⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛|⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛|
Cardio:
⬛✅✅✅✅✅❌|✅✅✅✅❌✅⬛|⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛|⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛|
Inventory
⬛✅✅✅✅✅✅|✅❌❌✅✅✅⬛|⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛✅⬛|✅⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛|

Motivation
If I were to name my two biggest problems right now, it's
1) getting overwhelmed with work. Lots of open loops, I'm never resting, always worried.
2) not enjoying life when I'm not working, drawing my value from achievement in work, not being able to relax

I have a theory that I don't like to relax because that's when it hits me how overwhelming the life is.

Goals
Basically, goals are habits I want to establish. I'm gonna keep my habits from the previous challenge, and new ones on top. New ones will be meditation and task inventory. To simplify, I will group them in three groups:

1) Morning routine
Meditation + Cardio
Every morning, after a few stretches, I will meditate for 15 minutes with my breathing. I might experiment with praying or affirmations together with that.

2) Midday work
Completing the task of the day + Task inventory
At the end of work before coming back to my flat, I will process my tasks now along the lines of the Getting Things Done principles, which is capturing all tasks, processing them and organising. I will also select one task for the next day. I will use a Todoist app for that. I will spend about 15 minutes for that.

3) Evening routine
Emotional inventory

 

Core Routines
These routines are my foundations. They're like a four legged table - one falls, three are left, I'm pretty alright. Two fall, two are left, it's getting really dodgy. With only one left, it's really dangerous. With all of them gone, it's a straight way downhill.

1. Pray
It's about mindfulness, focusing on the now, and connection with God. It's intended to soften my constant anxiety about the future and give me a place to go to when things get overwhelming, to balance and ground myself.

Current set up is at least 5 minutes of breathing meditation followed by reading the daily Scripture with commentary, then reflecting on it and saying my morning prayers. In total it takes about 20-30 minutes.

2. Work
It's about life-satisfaction, responsibility, fulfilment. It's about feeling like you're moving forward in life, feeling like you're leaving something on this world.

Current set up is setting up to three core tasks for the day, with at least one of them being dedicated purely to my own interests. I complete them first thing in the morning, no answering emails, texting, other distractions. In total they should not take longer than 2 hours, if they do then the routine is completed even without completing all the task.

3. Play
It's about connection and having fun, preferably with also moving physically.

Current set up is that there is a dedicated activity, usually in the afternoon, where there's three conditions: it's with other in-person people, the activity is fully engaging not passive, and it's generally playful, with no stakes or risks.

For example sports, table games, interesting discussions. Not watching a movie, gaming, or small talk. Or going for a walk alone, reading a book

4. Plan
It's about looking back at the day at the end of it and assessing the good and the bad, and making a plan for the next day. It's about gathering data, drawing conclusions. And finally, it's about ending the day with God again.

Current set up is in two stages. First I fill in all the stats I track, post them in my NoFap journal and then put away my phone in other room. Then I talk to God by writing in my physical journal. I'm thanking him for all the good things in the day, apologising for me not using his love to its fullest, and asking what I should do tomorrow and for the required grace for the next day.

________________________________​

There's also some other minor things I track and hope to work towards, but im more just observing them rather than trying to complete them. These four are the most important. I believe that if they're in place, all other things will be in place.

While those are things that I will do, there are obviously things I will not do.