Last day of 2019 thinking " It is now or never!" Yoda interrupts mid sentence: No. Only now. No never. Never never comes. Tomorrow never comes. Yesterday never comes. Now. No not exist.
"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing." Macbeth
I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles. —Christopher Reeve
"I was younger then, I wasn't afraid of anything, I didn't think about dying for a second. I thought I was invincible. Then I met some girl. I wanted to live. For the first time I was afraid of death. I had never felt like that before" Spike Spiegel
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
That is an interesting quotation! It was a little different for me. When I was a kid I looked up to the stars and felt existentially lost. I understood that I had to die, cease to exist, suddenly. I was afraid of death but got used to it (I was raised as an atheist). When I met "some girl" I wanted to guard her from that knowledge. I didn't want her to feel lost the same way I felt lost. I didn't want her to be afraid of death. But our relationship turned out to be much shorter than both of our lives. Despite getting used to it, the fear of death was my secret companion for many years. Invisible for most of the time, at some moments it suddenly appeared: the sheer horror of seeing the luring death over everything that means something to me. Only recently I got rid of it. How, is difficult to say. Sure it has to do with what I believe. But I can't really say what I believe now and I was always interested in philosophy, spirituality and religion. Yet something changed. I wonder if my problems and specifically my long Journey of porn addiction and recovery has brought me to the point where I don't fear death anymore. All I can say is that, although I'm still on the search, spiritually, I know now what it is about. Why religions are so important for people. I know that pure intellectual driven philosophy is not enough. I now have faith, even if somewhat abstract or fuzzy. "My problems" (or should I say my crisis?) forced me to think differently. To look for help, for a way, for answers. It lead me to many things. Today I believe that stuff is important. We are important. I appreciate the beauty of life and I know about it's nature. Fear of death is just a mindset. One that isn't healthy, one that I choose to rather not have. Maybe philosophy alone can be enough. But it wouldn't be wise to use all the knowledge and creativity that humanity has to offer to come to the one conclusion, that you're doomed. No, that is actually a pretty egocentric and I think stupid worldview.
The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things. Henry Ward Beecher