>>> NO PMO for 70 Days <<<

SHORT VERSION:
NoFap is 100% worth doing. There have been huge benefits for myself, including: transformed relationships, more happiness, more discipline, self-esteem, and a sense of freedom and ease from knowing I’m not addicted anymore.

THE LONG VERSION:
I grew up very isolated, in a family that was as religious as it was broken. My dad was absent, and I never learned the skills of being a man such as grit, tenacity, sticktoitiveness, ambition, and the willingness to put up a fight when it counts.

I recently turned 30, and my usual way of living has been to hide away from the world. I have been bullied, passive, meek and lazy. I believed that any form of ambition or drive or desire is part of the problem, a quality of tyrannical bullies, and must be subdued. I could never ask for what I want. And I felt bad to even have any needs at all. If my needs somehow conflicted with yours, I pretended that I didn’t have them. I have been a late bloomer, who is always yet to bloom.

Needless to say, this kind of person will not thrive in the world. And I haven’t. The best I could do was retreat into my private safe place, and PMO. Despite hating that too, despite loathing myself, it was how I kept going. It was how I coped with a life I don’t want to be in.

The trouble is that eventually, PMO doesn’t even feel good anymore. At some point, I needed it to just be OK. And I had no energy, no drive, no ambition. No goals. No need to become someone who can win over a girl, or have a mission, or accomplish something.

Cutting off PMO is my way of forcing myself to be better. I have no other options now.

As you can tell, PMO is not really the problem here. The real problem is unresolved issues. The real problem is a lack of discipline. The real problem is not having masculinity. The real problem is being weak. Undisciplined. Lazy. Lacking imagination. Being unwilling. Being dishonest. And all the while having this awful veneer of arrogance to protect myself from any trace of self-awareness.

Today I am 70 days clean of PMO, and still very much a mess. But I have some peace, and I am no longer avoiding the real issues. And I can work on them, rather than pretend they don’t exist.

I am doing this by attending 12 step meetings everyday, and taking the suggestions they give.

 

I mainly go to NA (which is for addiction in general), but you can get the same principles from AA or any other 12 step group. I recently started going to SLAA (sex and love addicts anonymous). However in my city there are 2 SLAA meetings per week, but over 100 NA meetings. So NA will still be my foundation.

There are pros and cons of wherever you go, but I would recommend any 12 step group. You might encounter an otherwise kind person who is judgemental of you, and suggests you don't belong there. When that happens you have to push through, and fight for the recovery you need.

My suggestion: go to a meeting. There may be a variety of challenges to overcome. It may seem like there are 100 other things to do. If you do feel that way, then just go to a meeting. It doesn't always make sense, and it's not always fun. Just try it. It's working for me.

 

Maybe keep track of how it's going. Don't reset/relapse/give up. But if it happens, try learn from it. It might be the key to long term success.

For me, 99.9% of my PMO happened in my flat. When I'm bored, alone, and feelling sorry for myself. What I'm doing now, is filling my calender completely. So I'm never bored, always busy, and as social as possible.

If I feel like PMO, I take a walk. Or go to a meeting. Or take a drive. Or work out. Very often, I can get rid of the urge with 10 reps of something. I'm really lazy with exercise. But often some intense effort for just 5 minutes is enough to scratch the itch.