New to this forum, but not NoFap

My name is Levi, and I've been a part of the NoFap Reddit community for a number of months now, but since there seems to be a limit in the number of post one can make, I will likely post on this website from now on, because I need post daily.

I'm from Northern California, am 34, and teach English as a foreign language in Asia, where I've lived for over four years. I speak limited Korean, limited Chinese, and am nearing the completion of my MA in TESOL.

The first time I watched porn I was maybe 4 or 5 years old. My dad was a porn addict, and somehow I discovered this and fell into his footsteps. I've been addicted to porn since that age, at first gaining easy access to it through my parents satellite dish system, then later through the internet.

One day as I was walking along a certain route to get to a bridge to climb in my town (I grew up in a very small town of about 1200 people), I found parts of a pornographic magazine lying on the ground, and I think that was the second major event which launched me into porn addiction. I remember a number of times the harshness and abusiveness which my father and mother would lay upon me and my sister, but now that I'm older its much easier to recognize the destruction that porn caused. Whenever I look at porn, for the following week or two I feel like I'm going to explode with anger and destruction, and usually I do so in some way upon someone around me. For me, porn is not a small problem. Its something that has snaked its way around my soul and caused unimaginable destruction. Of course, I am responsible for my problems and actions, but its just to say that porn is not an innocent force. It results in violence.

I believe the root of my problem is codependency that developed when I was a child because of my parents inability to meet my emotional and physical needs. Because of this, I'm active in recovery, attempting to gain control of my life and decisions in a healthy way. And the only way I know to do this is to talk about it with others who have struggled with the same things.

If you have taken the time, thank you for reading and I look forward to joining all of you on this journey towards freedom from the addiction which has wrought so much destruction.