Need some insight on how my porn addiction might have caused this incident

In my opinion if you’re only 34 and can’t ejaculate with intercourse, then you do have ED problems and it’s only a matter of time before it turns into pied. My husband took a long time, but could still ejaculate with intercourse until age 45, then pied hit because his use increased. Physical attraction is important, but you better really think about HOW important, because breast cancer can take those big boobs you had to have in a heartbeat. With porn addicts, it’s never enough. I am very curvy. Big boobs, big hips, big butt, and a tiny waist. I fit my husbands ideal ( judging by the posters he had when we met) but my body shape has changed drastically through the years. From super thin, to obese, to normal to pregnant, to very muscular, to flabby, scarred from emergency surgery, wrinkles from growing older…… you get this picture. I can only imagine her breaking up with you because your di** was too small. Yes, giving up porn will help, but it might not take away the attraction completely. It will probably put it more in perspective though as you get more emotionally mature with sobriety and recovery.

 

I think there's two separate issues. I agree if you can't ejaculate to intercourse, you're likely on the way to PIED. I would cut out the porn and focus on your sexual relationship.

The big breasts thing I think is a separate issue. As a man who appreciates a big-bosomed woman, I can tell you that preference is not going to go away when you cut out porn. That's not a weird porn fetish, that's basic sexual attraction. It was there before I watched porn, it's been there after I stopped for years.

You have to consider whether you're going to be happy with a woman with average-sized breasts. I would hazard a guess that the boob job isn't going to happen. If the proviso is that you get married, settled, have kids, etc., that's just pushing it into the distance. It's very unlikely when you're several hundred grand and a kid into the relationship that she's going to suddenly agree to cosmetic surgery she personally has no interest in. It could happen but I don't think it's remotely likely given that she's already taken it off the table.

I would consider what it is about your girlfriend that would make her a good life partner and question whether you'd be fulfilled being with her for the rest of your life. Is her having big breasts an essential desire? It sounds like it might be. But then, she may tick other important needs for you in a life partner that would be hard to satisfy elsewhere. You have to ask what boxes she ticks, which she doesn't, and whether these could be fulfilled together elsewhere.

I put it to you that at 34, your window for finding your busty Japanese wife that ticks all your relationship boxes is closing. You need to think about whether she is 'the one' and if she's not, then get on with finding the right one for you.

 

it sounds like you're navigating some deep waters in your relationship, especially concerning your preferences and your girlfriend's feelings. It's tough when personal desires intersect with the feelings of someone you care deeply about.

Consider flipping the situation for a moment. Imagine if your girlfriend conveyed to you that your physique didn't match her ideal—she wanted you to be taller, more muscular, or have a larger and bigger penis to fulfill her preferences. How would that make you feel? It might raise questions about acceptance and love based on something beyond your control.

Facing your porn addiction is a good start. It's likely clouding your judgment and inflating these unrealistic physical ideals.

Realizing the impact of objectifying your friend and comparing her to your GF is a significant realization. It's crucial to distinguish between fantasy (as portrayed in porn) and reality. Often, personal values and connection in a relationship overshadow physical attributes.

While overcoming a porn addiction might help in gaining clarity, addressing the root of these preferences and understanding the significance of emotional connection in a relationship will be essential. It's about fostering an appreciation for your girlfriend beyond physical attributes.

Consider exploring this issue further in therapy, as it could provide deeper insights into your desires, relationship dynamics, and personal growth. Building healthier perspectives on intimacy, self-worth, and mutual respect could be pivotal in sustaining a fulfilling relationship.

Remember, it's not solely about breasts; it's about cherishing and valuing your partner for who she is as a person. Working on these aspects might lead to a more gratifying and lasting connection.