I am 34 never had sex before - and I was using porn daily science I was 18. I always enjoyed normal type of porn videos ie. just straight content. I tried Nofap challenge months ago but stopped at 36 only because sure sleep issues but also extreme stress and I got a restless leg syndrome which scared me that I am doing something wrong. I stopped the nofap but RLS continues.. now I am attracted to girl and planning for marriage after 60 days.. because I heard too much about ED ... I stopped recently... +24 days clean.. I have no urges at all to watch porn or masturbate and I never had a relationship before - means I know nothing about feeling in real relation with woman. I can say that I have a morning wood day to day.. I have zero fantasy about sex with her.. but no spontaneous sexual reaction to her when we meet publicly. now .. as I know.. this is not the common scenario.. that is why I a asking for help.. the common is either had real sex experience or faced real ED.. my questions are extremely stupide I know ... but because I have extreme fear from fail yes I am religious conservative avoiding relations before marriage.. I am not angel I tried to be one but I failed when I watched once then hocked without knowledge.. Anyways... questions are... is it normal? to not have sexual reaction when we are on public? how to know if I have ED? how to know if I am fine? should I have urges toward videos ? or flatline is not bad as you still doesn't have a girl? is every one who was using porn should face ED? is 60 Days Enough for me to recover? How to know if I am rebooted? if I a fine? What if a problem appears after the 60 days?
My suggestion is stop thinking about so many days of abstinence to cure, the day count is measurement of time and nothing else. It's like if you had a car that doesn't run well and you just keep trying to drive it for 60 miles straight or something and think that will prove it has been fixed instead of looking up the problem or going to a mechanic. You work on the problem. No person serious in any kind of addiction recovery would just sit around, not do it and think it's fixed. This kind of day count focus is reversing cause and effect and is approaching it backwards.
OrganizeInformed, Thanks for the replay Just I am trying to say that.. as I have a planned trip after 60 days , I went to mechanic to check the car and fix any issues , I am not trying to ignore the problems and drive it. your advice if I got it right ... is stop counting and stop focusing but also you said : No person serious in any kind of addiction recovery would just sit around, not do it and think it's fixed. jut can you please explain what I have to do to fix the car other than continue in nofap? Thanks in advance for your advice
Well that's the tricky thing, human beings are a lot more complicated than cars. We have some capacity for self heal but if a problem has been there for years it's not like a mild cold where you get over it in a couple of weeks or something. People in addiction recovery typically end up doing deep psychological work on themselves, nothing like the simple online approach here. They track time too but that's not the main focus.
