Crazy in love, I should say. I started the whole NoFap thing in preparation for an upcoming marriage. I've been addicted to pornography for almost 15 years, and with very few breaks, there hasn't been a week I haven't binged on all levels of PMO. It has a tendency to really break you down. I'd forgotten what it was like to truly feel, to have a sincere love for anything or anyone. My heart had truly turned to stone, and that stoney nature had hurt and crushed many potential loves I've had. Since I quit PMO once and for all less than two weeks ago, I've noticed some things. At first, there wasn't much of a shift. Very little change, very little significance, and very little difficulty as well. It was only after I started experiencing these flashes of insane sex drive, powerfully tempting, that I began to also realize a crisper sensitivity to sexuality. While I am on one hand struggling just to keep myself from exploding everywhere, I'm also recognizing that, for the first time in forever, I am actually in love. Really, truly, in love. My girlfriend, soon to be wife, has been a huge support. I was still heavily embroiled in pornography when I met her, and when I shared my addiction with her, she was true to the character that I've grown to love about her: patient, understanding, and supportive. When I eventually reached my breaking point and decided to kill the beast once and for all, she was - and is - my greatest cheerleader: never once judging, never once pushing or controlling, and always proud of me. These last few days have really begun to pay dividends. Everything about her drives me wild like it never has before. I mean, sexually, that's to be expected - I've stopped up the source that was supplying my sex drive, so I'm veritably leaking over here. More than just sexually, though, I began to notice and appreciate so much more about her womanhood and her quality. I began to see far deeper than just an hourglass figure or a set of beautiful eyes. I'm starting to appreciate the soul and the love behind those eyes. And it's driving me crazy. I am the luckiest guy in the world to have this lady as my queen. And though I wish I'd guarded my heart and my body for her over all these years, I can say without a doubt that putting PMO behind me - and chasing after purity with all my heart - will lead me to one of the most amazing and successful relationships I've never even dreamed of. For the first time in over a decade, I feel that I don't have to settle for giving my darling broken fragments of a heart; instead, I can give her the best of me, and continue to do so for many, many years to come. As always, my friends: Don't tap!
Thank you for sharing. I have the same situation as you, I get married in 94 days and I have never been so determined to make this work. I just need to work out when/if I share this with my other half. I need to sort out my path out of this, and when I do I think that will be the time. I only hope I get the support you write of.
Well I always so it is better to MO than PMO. If you get an urge or something dont run after P just MO and leave it at that, that method will decondition you from PMO.
Congratulations for the presence of such a beautiful person in your life. May all your days are full with support and happiness
Great job, Weiland! Excellent beginning, for more on how to work on marriage I found this to be the best: Nan Silver; Gottman, John (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. New York: Three Rivers Press. Gottman is an excellent psychologist, his approach is evidence-based.
