I keep thinking about sex with women how do I kill my labido without harming myself in any way ?

I know that this probably sounds stupid but I'm asking how can I become asexual ? If it's possible I want to become totally unphased by women that I find attractive. And also have no sexual thoughts at all.

 

EDIT: [TL;DR] this post became really long, oops! I recommend first and foremost talking to a mental health professional about this question you have, and then reading all the *official* NoFap resources on this website (not just any random stuff people post in the forums) and the getting started guide if you haven't already.

To answer your question, No, you can't force yourself into asexuality. in summary, try not to hate yourself for having sexual urges. They are biological and part of having a human body. Instead focus on positive, calming and nourishing habits (i.e selfless service, time in nature, exercise, healthy diet, routine, healthy relationships, self-care) that you can start right now to replace any negative thinking.

--longer response--

*Disclaimer - I am not a mental health professional or sex expert in any way. Please take all of this with a grain of salt.

Your question is not stupid. However it does warrant another question... Can you train a straight person to become gay or vice versa? Countless years of scientific research (and failed religious conversion camps) would show us that the answer seems to be "no, nobody can train themselves to change their sexual orientation, and trying to do so would be extremely harmful" (sources here and here). Sexuality is fluid and can change, but you can't train or force it to change.

Asexuality is misunderstood by many. It is a sexual orientation just like bi, lesbian, gay or straight and it can't be trained or forced onto anyone.

And you can't "kill" your libido without doing harm to yourself. It's a natural biological urge. As long as your body produces testosterone, there will be sexual urges. Trying to supress will only cause more harm than good.

The more you focus on a problem, the bigger it becomes. The more you focus on a solution, the bigger the solution becomes. Focus on other positive thoughts word and deeds you can practice today, rather than focusing on your perceived sexuality problem .

And focus on a process rather than an end goal.
Focusing on a possibly unattainable goal of having no lust whatsoever will probably make you feel more and more frustration and shame when you're not reaching it right away, which will take away your willpower. what small, positive steps can you take right now? Breathe? Read something inspiring? Do some sort of calming ritual? Cook a healthy meal? Work out?

The urges will come and go and that is out of your control. What you can control is what you choose to focus on, and giving yourself up to your Higher Power or essentially following your ideal vision of yourself as much as you can.

If there's one thing we can all agree on, P won't help. And this whole forum is here to help people overcome P addiction.

Wish you the best on your journey and I am always here to talk.

 

Many years ago i had a similar wish, life would be so much easier if sex in its entirety would just disappear from my life.

Today i can say with certainty that this is not possible, at least not without taking heavy damage. And even if it was, you wouldn't want that. Dealing with your sexuality is part of being human. Sexual energy is a potent life force, you just have to channel it towards something healthy. Same thing goes with your emotions. It is possible to numb yourself completely with strong pharmaceuticals but that would make you a zombie.

 

Thanks for your reply I appreciate your seriousness.

 

Your sexuality and sexual urges are what make you human and not some bacteria floating in space or a rock or a tree. You can’t separate it from yourself and it was actually designed to be very useful in your life. Just because the urges can be overwhelming doesn’t mean that overall the sexuality is evil. It’s not. Just like a sharp knife has the utility to hurt someone, it is also useful to cut food and prepare a meal. You just have to be trained to wield it well and safely.

 

I`m 41 years old, and have never been able to ``kill my libido`` I think it`s impossible.
What I`ve done is prayed for 10 minutes every night and accepted my faults.

What happens to me is that when I pray a sincere prayer not of many words, but of needed confession, and plight I become calmer. Eventually I lose the urge to please my self.

I left everything behind that doesn`t bring me peace; YouTube, Tv, arguing about religion and even looking up people`s net worth.. I quit thinking about money, and started paying attention to everyday little things in my life. I hope this helps, bottom line it`s a self-sacrifice I need to wake up in the middle of the night almost daily turn on the light, and reflect about how far I`ve gotten, and start my confession on my knees until I feel I`m content.

So far, for as long as I`ve prayed I have been more centered, and restrained.

 

You can 1) condition yourself to really want love/monogamy which will help you steer away desiring women that you're not in love with and 2) get to a temporary stage of non-arousal by very consistently redirecting your mind from all sexual thoughts, which is difficult but possible.

I recently started doing nofap again but did it before a long time ago for many months and did both of the above strategies, and both were successful for me.