I can study better after I masturbate

How would you know that? Your counter says you haven't masturbated for over 6 months. Something doesn't add up here!

 

That statement is true for me, as well, most of the time, which has made getting rid of the act rather difficult. I still haven't quite determined why, but I have some theories.

1. Maybe I feel somewhat guilty for having wasted time, so I want to make up for it by being super productive afterward.

2. Maybe before the act, I'm so distracted by urges that I can't focus on what I'm doing, so getting that "crossed off the to-do list" frees my mind to think about other things.

3. Maybe, physically, I have extra energy because of the dopamine boost or other factors. Most people describe having more energy when they are abstaining, but that certainly hasn't been true for me.


I'm not sure if you're writing this because you want to change it, or simply as an observation, but working through these reasons and writing them down is helping me to see that perhaps I can find an activity that will mimic these symptoms. Like if I'm distracted by urges, need a burst of energy, and want to feel productive, maybe I should do a quick ten minute workout or something right before getting to my to-do list, rather than MOing. Hm... perhaps.

Anywhoozle, thanks for posting this. Helped me think through some thoughts.

 

I thought you might have abandoned school six months ago.

Good to know that is not the case.

 

This has certainly been the case for me in the past! At times, the "itch" was so strong that I simply could not proceed with other, astronomically-more-important, things -- without first obtaining some "release."

And even with my recently new-found source of self-control, if I look back in hindsight at those episodes of peak frustration, I am still not sure that I'd have been able to fight off that level of urge. Which brings me to the following conclusion: it is immensely important to do everything possible in order to prevent such situations to begin with -- by avoiding triggers, ... etc.

Not only that, but IMHO the effort needed to avoid such situation is much easier than that needed to battle the urge once it confronts you head-on. Or, as Benjamin Franklin once said: "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

 

Yessss!! This is so so very true. I couldn't have said that better myself. Thank you for a brilliant reminder.

 

Thanks I came on here struggling with a few urges but reading this has stopped them in their tracks, this is the type of talk where your addict self is tricking you to believe that fapping is a good thing, which it is not, it'll almost certainly end with Porn session in the end, do you have a partner? If so then you should wait for him or her and be ready to make love BUT if you are single I can see what you mean as after making love I do feel alot calmer, what is your position regards relationship? If u don't mind my asking.

 

Hope you don't mind my views on this but I'm struggling with your reply, surely you should be patient and hold out for your other half it sounds to me like your falling at the first hurdle and giving in to your addict self, this site's caledl NoFap and it's proven if you go without self pleasuring the rewards are imense, sex has never been better with my wife and O's have been complete bliss because of my patience I've even asked my wife to wait for me when she has thoughts of M and have both said it's the best love making we have ever had.

 

I'm not really sure where my reply gives you the idea that I'm not trying or that I'm "falling at the first hurdle." I certainly am trying, and I wouldn't have any reason to be on this site if I wasn't. I was simply stating some of the ways in which I relate to the OP, letting him know that he's not alone and that he might be correct about his feelings. I feel that too many people here try to say that PMO has absolutely no positive effects (let me be clear... I agree that, in the long run, PMO is only damaging and there are no positive effects), but the fact of the matter is, sometimes there are some immediate positive effects of PMO. And if we just ignore that or tell ourselves that's not true, that's not going to help us recover. Lies can't help anyone.

I, for example, struggled a LOT when I first started with this, because everyone is going around talking about how wonderful they feel and how they have so much extra energy when they aren't PMOing, and for me it was completely the opposite. I'm not saying that's a good reason to keep PMOing, obviously, but it's something that needs to be addressed and I'm not going to lie to myself and say that MOing doesn't feel good and isn't going to help any situation, because my brain KNOWS that's not true. So that's not a good way, for me, to convince myself to stay strong. That doesn't mean I shouldn't stay strong, it just means I need to be honest with myself and find better reasons.

 

Also, I didn't mention anything about relapsing in my post.... Acknowledging the way MOing makes me feel, or used to make me feel, doesn't mean I'm actively doing it at this time in my life.

 

This part

 

Wooow, everyone in here know , fap is wasting energy, don't do that , it isn't help you maybe you feel better now , buy you will be bad

 

So? It's been difficult? Has it not been difficult for you? This is difficult for all of us. That's why they call it an addiction. Just because it's still difficult doesn't mean I'm not trying or making any progress.

Do still MO sometimes? Yes. That's why I'm a RECOVERING PMO addict. If you're perfect and never fail anymore, then good for you, that's great. But I'm not there yet, and I'm okay with that.

 

Yes it's been the hardest thing I've ever done, but when I saw the title to this thread I couldn't believe what I was seeing and felt I had to air my views, I hope I haven't offended you I just couldn't understand your first reply it was like you were agreeing that fapping is good, since I have started this journey in September last year I've relapsed loads but not once did I think that fapping was a energy boosting release but actually the complete opposite especially when I should be waiting for my wife instead of turning her down all the time but hey that's just my opinion.

 

Wasting energy and time, life is short and I've spent too many hours in the darkness.

 

I never said fapping is good. That's not what I meant at all. But clearly it has some immediate positive benefits, or nobody would be doing it, and we certainly wouldn't become addicted to it. I'm well aware that those immediate positive benefits are due to a harmful drug and don't outweigh the negative side effects of the addiction, but I don't think it's wise to completely ignore the fact that there are some positives, because, as I said before, that's a lie, and our brains know when we're lying.

In a moment of temptation, it's true for me to say, "Don't do this, it will be harmful to you in the long run," but it's just not always true to say, "Don't do this, it won't fix the situation." Sometimes "the situation" is "I'm so crazy horny that I can't think of anything else." So yes, fapping would fix that. I'm not saying you should do it, and I'm not saying it's the only way, or the best way, to fix that situation, but it IS a solution to a temporary problem. So for me, lying to myself and saying "PMOing isn't going to fix that," does not give me the motivation to seek other solutions, because I know that's a lie. Therefore, I believe it's better and healthier for me to acknowledge the fact that, yes, PMOing might make me feel better right now or might help me focus on my school work or whatever, but it won't be worth it in the long run and I need to find a healthier way to accomplish those goals.

Perhaps we just have different opinions on the subject. That's totally fine with me... I never expect everyone to agree with everything I say or feel. And yes, honestly, you did offend me. You're kind of putting words in my mouth that I disagree with and making assumptions and implications that aren't true, which is frustrating.

 

God bless you, I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings, that wasn't my intention, good luck with your journey.

 

Thank you, same to you