Well, Lemme start off with a small introduction. I am a guy, 23 years old with an Engineering degree and currently doing his Masters As part of my background, I think I started with porn at the age of 13/14 via dial up net. It is now that I realize how much trouble I am really in. I have been trying to quit porn since bout a year now i think but I keep getting caught up in the brain rationalizing trap and relapse. PMO increased to 3 times a day most days during relapse. Due to this I've been feeling really shitty(that i am not disciplined enough etc etc). Also my anxiety is so bad that I have difficulty speaking to women and always have clammy hands due to this. I think my loss of confidence happened because in the middle of my undergrad studies, my grades fell badly and also during that time my acne flared up which made me convince myself that I didnt look good enough. This lead to more and more dependance on porn as part of coping with my loneliness. Thankfully I completed my B.E with a distinction eventually and now am in a different country for my Masters. Here my anxiety has seemed to become even worse ( i went 8 days without PMO after coming here and my anxiety seemed decent but then I relapsed and boy did it get worse, I felt like missing my lectures and just staying in bed all day). In terms of childhood, I have witnessed domestic violence almost on a daily basis. Also, I am also fed up as I am 23 and still a virgin. Worse fact is, I haven't even been in a relationship. Writing this post is taking a lot of courage, more so than it should. Anyways I want to turn over a new leaf cause I am in one of the most beautiful countries in the world(with some of the most beautiful women) and it just sucks when my social anxiety means I have to miss all this beauty around me. May god grant me the strength to complete this challenge. Any tips for me would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
You are stronger than you think. And one of the most common benefits guys report from quitting is increased charisma, so you'll soon be losing that V-card if you stick to this. http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/porn-masturbation-and-mojo-neuroscience-perspective But have respect for yourself. It's stressful changing countries. I lived abroad and I know. Find expats who speak your language and make it a point to socialize or attend events even when you don't feel like it. It's very soothing and will increase your confidence. And since you're smart, watch this, so you know what you're up against: http://yourbrainonporn.com/adolescent-brain-meets-highspeed-internet-porn When you need support: http://yourbrainonporn.com/uncle-bob-porn-addiction-recovery-tips Or find a good forum. If this one isn't doing it for you, try rebootnation.org. Good luck!
Welcome! A couple tips for you: 1. Nobody here is perfect. I understand anxiety isn't necessarily something you can control. But as far as self image, many of us understand your feelings. And we are real people, here for you. Those porn people? They are caricatures. They might be decent folks irl, but we're here for you if you want. Even if it's just small talk. We're here. 2. Being a virgin is not a bad thing. Don't let the same societies that allowed you into this PMO mess dictate what is considered sexually healthy. Most of your most fulfilling relationships will not be sexual, and that's okay. Build those relationships first, and the rest will fall into place. 3. The flip side of 2 is that getting into a sexual relationship will not automatically solve your sexual dysfunctions regarding PMO. Porn is in fact the single leading ruin-er of intimate relationships, and having sex will not 'relieve tension' or whatever. See nofap's terminology chart "charger effect". I repeat, just work on building normal relationships first, and the rest will fall into place.
Wow, I'm just grateful for this community man. I read your replies when I was kind of getting back into relapse mode. So no reset in the counter yet. Thank you guys. Its easy to fall into the porn and " its okay to do this just once more" trap but i guess its not worth it to feel so wasted after. Anyways I am going to try & get better in every aspect of life including health, relationships and education .In that aspect I think this post http://yourbrainonporn.com/my-thoughts-rebooting-extremely-long-post has been the best advice I could've read.
