Hi, 23 yo male from Paris. I have PIED and i know it since early 2014, i never went more than 22 days in a row of no pmo. Recently i started to see a really great girl, we fooled around a lot, we slept together 4 times, but we never had sex. In 2 days, i'm gonna sleep with her again at her place, and i know she'll want to do it... i wanna try too, but while we were together i got good erection but whenever i thought " hey my dick is awake" it'd go limp again... The thing is, i don't wanna lose her, we didn't have " The talk " about being a couple, but if i tell her " hey i'm a heavy porn addict, i can't get it up with girl, but i can with my computer" i know it'll probably turn her off... What should i do guys? Taking Viagra is a deeply sad thing to do, telling her scares me, and if try to do it and go limp on her, she'll probably don't like it either ... ( Also do you guys with ED had the thought of maybe not being hetero? For me women are amazing, i find them to be one of the most beautiful thing in this world, and of course i get hard as a rock when i see them in porn, but maybe i just love them in porn... i'm kinda lost )
viarga won't do anything for PIED. I'm in the same boat as you, am able to get a decent erection when making out, and then obtain about 75% by the time clothes come off. But once I'm inside her It'll go soft after awhile.. It's all worth it, can't wait to rewire and have maximum feeling, and penetration back. Atleast we are on the path to recovery, this is a lot better then not being able to have erection at all while I use to PMO
Start NoFap now, the sooner the better. Two days can easily be enough, be sure though, do not touch it what so ever! No PMO, PME, MO or Edging at all! Also, I find extended foreplay helps relax you, her, and get you in the mood, it is not a race.
@diamondboi For viagra i know, but atleast i could give her pleasure with this, anyway i don't think i'll do it. You're right, atleast i have this. Question, even after 22 days of no pmo you can't stay hard inside her ? Did you try recently? @jbastoniv You're also right, about the foreplay, but i'm pretty sure 2 days won't be enough, i pmo since i'm fifteen. I think i should tell her, if she goes away well she wasn't that great... even tho i'm really alone :/
Watched hardcore porn since 13. barely any relations, all one night stands ended in me being ED or limp dick with minimal feeling, and penetration. I got hard during make out, she sucked me off.. I stayed hard for this. fucked her for a bit, then just got soft. BArely any feeling down there. I get more feeling from jerking off to porn. this is just insight on howbad porn actually is, can't wait to be fully healehed and have sex that feels amazing
There are other ways to please a woman besides penetration. For what it's worth. Losing an erection doesn't mean sex has to stop completely. Diamindboi you are used to a death grip with your hand so a vagina is not going to feel as good. Sensitivity will come back the more you abstain from masturbation.
this is my biggest concern. I can't believe how much porn has fucked everyones neural pathways. The numb penis, and desensitization alone is enough to make ANYONE who experienced it with a partner to quit.
Well we're kinda all in the same bag ! I'm going to relax, and tell her everything if need be. It sucks that i'm not that horny with her the way i am with porn, i remember when i was a 17 years old virgin, i was telling myself " Oh boy when i'm gonna have sex i'll be so horny " haha what a joke. I will tell her that i am healing, because i am, no more porn, there's not much to do.. I was sooo pissed off yesterday, if only after my ex broke up with me i would have been serious with nofap, i wouldn't be there right now.
This. 100%. No PMO and lots of foreplay I started NoFap 14 days ago for exactly the same reason as you - PIED. I was a death gripper, no sensitivity during sex, and after a while would go limp and tap out. After 7 days of no PMO, I had sex with my girlfriend (after a lot of foreplay) and O'd naturally. Next day I tried again, less foreplay, but no O (didn't go limp however). After 14 days of no PMO, pretty same results as last time. Lots of foreplay, natural O; round 2, little foreplay, no O. Apologies for being so direct with this. I just remember when I was starting NoFap it was hard to find results from other people that made it hard for me to know what to expect. Of course YMMV.
If you stick with this you will reboot and get very turned on by a real women, in fact, you'll start to go, whoa, way better than P and M! But, you cannot cheat or relapse! You have to give your brain time to rewire your arousal to real women and not the artificial women of P, with fake everything, makeup, lighting, camera angles. It will get to the point just looking at her, cuddling, making out, foreplay, etc. will get you hard, then when you do have PIV you will O every time. One thing for sure, you have to stop thinking about it, it is a double edged sword because of performance anxiety at the same time. Good luck and stay strong.
This all rings very true for me. I actually lost my gf because I was unable to perform in bed. We ended up getting together again after about 6 months. It was during those six months that I realiazed the damage porn was doing to me and I learned about pied. When we first had sex after getting back together I was in the middle of a nofap period. It had been 2 weeks for me leading up to the date. We started making out and she put her hands down my pants and commented "whoa, you're way bigger than I remember". That was a huge ego boost lol but I think it was just because it was the first time she'd seen/felt me with a full erection! Anyways, the sex didn't last long, but it was quite good and she commented later how happy it made her to have me finish inside of her (that was the first time that had happened too). Sadly, because of her own issues, our sex life has really slowed down now which is why I've fallen back into my porn and masturbation habits. It is a vicious circle because often times now when she does want sex, I am unable to perform... The last time I had to get myself off while she watched which she said she enjoyed lol but I'm sure she would have rathered that we actually had intercourse... As would I. I found this site over the weekend and decided I would try again, this time with some support. We can all do this together! Support each other, reach out to those asking for help. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it and you will be successful!
@Blake_1980 The real "enemy" is porn, don't watch porn anymore, or anything arrousing and i'm sure you'll get there, if you need support i'm happy to help. @jbastoniv What is PIV ? Thanks a lot i know i have performance anxiety aswell, i'm like sure at 99% lol, i'm gonna try to enjoy myself and get comfortable with her, infact i'm pretty comfortable with her already. @Fapolous Why apologise ? It's the opposite, you're giving hope man, only 7 days and you could've had intercourse. Just to give me an idea of where i am, you've been wanking to porn since when?
Everything above is true. I masturbated continuously to porn starting in my mid teens and obsessively when I moved out on my own. I didn't have sex until I was 27 and I was so desensitized I could feel nothing. I stayed hard during the first night just because I was so excited to be having sex for the first time, but I had to really concentrate and it took me forever to orgasm. The next night while making out I was hard as a rock, as soon as we got closer to PIV... ED struck. I had always thought sex would be like a porn video. We'd be in a well lit room and i would get a front seat visual to everything. The penetration, her body, feasting my eyes on every inch of her. There would be the typical porn like session of oral activity, etc.... It was nothing like any of that. Instead all the lights had to be off, she was not into oral at all and the feeling of PIV was almost non-existent because of my 15 year death grip. The relationship sadly ended in a very short time. There is no easy remedy. No shortcuts. Stop watching PMO, stop masturbating for a time sufficient to heal your brain and gain sensitivity again. Make the commitment and get your life back.
Thanks again for you support guys, i mean it. I seriously get it this time. I couldn't penetrate yesterday, we didn't do more than foreplay, but i didn't have the need to tell her right now, so i have more time to try again with my brain a little less rewired to porn... we'll see ..
Don't worry about it, everything will come back slowly. The body is great at fixing itself up - you just need to give it the environment to do it. I've been choking it for maybe 16 years? Most of that time was daily, with an occasional day off. I used to get no sensation during head, but now that's coming back and it's... enjoyable! That's about 2 weeks of NoFap. You'll get your performance back, no problem. Just don't give yourself a psychological ED by worrying about it Enjoy your parter
