It is approaching 10 months since the death of my wife of 23 years after a 2 1/2 year fight against cancer. In these first months back as a single I have benefited greatly from continuing on the SR path I began in January 2021 in order to have my full physical, emotional and spiritual capabilities to bring to her support. Through the power of God and much self-work I have continued on the SR path as I reinvent myself and re-enter a world that had gotten very small as caregiving became my second full-time job. A part of this has been opening myself to potentially date again, which involves bringing the absolute best I can to the table. I am taking it very slowly, avoiding all online dating platforms and being extremely picky, aided by the discernment given by SR to engage only with women who not only check my boxes physically, but have the fun, friendly, and "traditional" feminine energy so rare to see in women today. A couple of months ago I was out for dinner (solo) at my favorite local high-end restaurant. A number of good looking younger women work there and I tend to get celebrity treatment from two or three of them pretty much every time. This time a new one was there in training. As she waited on my table I was floored with her beauty inside and out. I literally could not stop looking at her. We had a good exchange ending with her asking me if I came there often. I said every few weeks and I was sure we'd see each other again. She said "good" and I left it there. So last night when I was there again she was not assigned my table but I called her over by name (she looked even better than the 1st time), chatted with her a bit and then said, "I can see you're busy, so I'll keep this short." When she responded with, "I'm actually not that busy," that was my cue. I looked her right in the eyes and said "I think you're incredibly beautiful and I want to take you out. I'm going to leave my number with you on my way out and you can call me if you're interested." She was definitely receptive to that and I followed through, giving her my number on a piece of paper and wishing her a good night as I left. The ball is in her court now. If nothing comes of it, that's cool. I'll know she was just being "professionally friendly" and she knows I won't be blowing up her phone because I never asked for her number. Not once has she mentioned a boyfriend but if she has one, this is an easy out for her. If she does reach out, that's great too. Either way, the wins are 1) that I did it and 2) as much as she fascinates me, I'm cool if nothing happens too and that is not how I lived my pre-married life at all.
Update: She hasn't called and with it now being the 3rd night since, it's looking like a no-go. Old me would have agonized over what I must have done "wrong", taken it as rejection, and medicated in some form or fashion. New me says, oh well, she was not for me, there's someone better on the way, let's move on -- and takes pride in the fact I did it.
