Don’t be afraid to fail especially when you are young. Failures are necessary for success and it is how you learn and develop as a person. You learn what not to do and what you should do in the future. Everyone is bound to fail at something. However, there is a drastic difference between a loser and a winner on how they handle their failures. Losers fail and get discouraged in life. They get overly emotional and traumatized by their failures and get themselves stuck. Many get stuck and never recover. Winners fail and are able to move on from their failures. They are able to recover quick and take action instead of inaction. They don’t get emotional for long and learn from their experience instead. They aren’t afraid to fail again and try again. They understand that failures are necessary to move forward in life.
Productive failure is the way forward, you are right. The most successful people see failure as learning and growing. The problem is most people associate failure with pain, including myself. The subconscious motivates us towards pleasure and away from pain.
Seeking pleasure whenever we are in pain is a habit that a lot of us formed for ourselves. It is difficult to get unstuck from it.
There is a healthy way to pursue pleasure. Some people tie pleasure to pursuing healthy goals and not for the reason of avoiding pain. It depends on what pleasure you're pursuing and why. Those type of people probably aren't on this site though...
I see negative feelings now as a place where I can back track and figure out what I did wrong and if I truly did mess up, or if I'm making it bigger than it is. Then I stew on it for a while and make time to feel the emotion and process it then I'm usually able to make a decision on what to change. Sometimes I blow off steam with video games or exercise and come back to it later. Sometimes I just put it in the pocket for later then meditate to separate myself from my reality then I think about it. It depends. But I just keep in mind that the world will always be throwing challenges at you and all that matters is how you react to those emotions in the aftermath. And if the world Wasn't challenging then nothing will be fun if you keep winning without knowing defeat
