**This is from like 6 days ago, I initially posted this on Reddit** As the title says, I made a deal with myself to donate to NoFap, in case I messed up in any way shape or form with recovery. The sum I set up was 200$. Last night I came from a wedding where drank a decent amount of wine and as it usually happens when consuming substances, I get fired up. I didn't watch p*** or anything, I touched myself for a couple of seconds, realized I was being stupid stopped immediately and went to sleep. And because I wanted to hold myself accountable I donated 100$ to NoFap (that was like 6 days ago). Tonight I managed to donate the whole sum. I feel like this is the last/one of the last pieces to the puzzle, besides not counting days anymore and all the other things I'm doing to make this easier for myself, I really want to be 100% clean, because I can see that my life has changed drastically since learning about the nasty effects p*** has on you. I think I've been trying to quit for around 4 years, managed to have some good streaks along the way, but the most important thing is that I am a better person than I ever was before. Thanks!
If I were you I'd use that money to better yourself instead of giving it to the owner of a forum. No matter how helpful this site may be for you, you deserve your money more than them.
There's a couple of things with this. I would say first of all if it's possible to give to your sober self that would be ideal, like if someone had a trustworthy AP that would actually hold the money and then actually spend it on your recovery in some form. There are healthy things that one can spend on and the value of someone who ends up being sober long term is much more powerful and of greater value to the community if people recognize the success for what it is. The thing is you can have thousands of posts that just sort of dance around the subject, but someone who is really sober and established is really a fairly rare thing and in a position to be of real help to people. The other thing is just money as a motivator ultimately does not work. I don't know what happens with people who pays for porn etc. - and of course you don't have to - but as we know in the world of substance addiction people will end up stealing from their loved ones and the like when it gets really bad. You know they've already blown their own money but they still manage to feed the habit somehow.
While I respect your opinion and I agree with it to some extent, there are parts where they differ. NoFap has opened my eyes, without the information found here I would have probably been in the same place I was 4 years ago, I am aware that I still had to put in the work, but without it I wouldn’t have ever thought there was anything to work on. There are people working hard to maintain this forum, not only the forum but they have many other expenses, so that is the least I can do. Also it meant a lot more to me than money, I saw that I was finally able to pull through on my commitment, in the future I am a lot less likely to fuck up knowing this. And relapsing over and over may end up costing a lot more than 200$, i.e finding someone for myself, enjoying a normal life, getting a better job etc. Considering I was exposed to p at a very young age and have been a heavy user, I may have a harder time giving this up than ‘normal’ people do, which could also mean doing things they wouldn’t. In the end it’s not about the money, anyone can find their own ways to handle this.
Donating to a positive cause is no bad things and if it inspires you to make the necessary postive changes in your life, i'm confident your donation will contribute towards the running costs of the website, so that others can learn and benefit just as we have
