I hate living a secret life. I want my wife to be able to look me in the eye and see the real me, not a façade covering a guilt-ridden shell, a soulless replica of the man she married, who once loved her passionately but now does so only with hollow words.
Welcome bob!, That's deep bro. I feel ya. It's becoming extremely difficult to walk this life alone. Just know that you can change. Although nofap can be challenging, the benefits are worth the time put in. I recommend to get going you write down some goals for yourself. Where do you envision your life in the following weeks, months and years? Put it on paper. Write your heart out. Pages if you need to. These goals are gonna become your 100% focus during your reboot. Next write down why you must do this. What are your reasons? Wife, kids, confidence. Whatever your reasons are put it on paper. Develop that indestructible belief in yourself. You can do this, you will do this. Attack those goals. It will help hugely with the process. Remember to check these forums. There's lots of good info and awesome stories to help you along the way. Start a journal and post what your feeling. It's a great way to vent. You can do this man. Now get out there and get it done! Good luck to you brother Nulife
Thanks very much. Not used to using these sorts of sites, posting stuff, etc. I'll take your advice. Tomorrow is Sunday, so I have time to think and write.
Hello, I am doing the same, I want the love we had before PMO stole it from us. I am going had mode and hope before the end of the year we will be able to enjoy each other again. Keep me posted on how you do. I use exercise, these type of sites and a local accountability partner.
Thanks for your support, michgem0707 and MSM. I also use exercise to distract myself and try to fill other spare time with activities such as gardening and artwork. My wife is away visiting relatives, so I am particularly vulnerable to fall into fapfest mode. I am trying for 2 weeks to start with - the period she will be away. I may set harder goal after that, if I do well. So far I have survived a day and am feeling good!
yes, roifwoha, it really does help to read the forums, and the messages from you and others spur me on. Congrats on achieving 7 days.Thanks.
Had to reset my counter because of a bit of midnight edging while unable to sleep. Still determined to do this.
Still doing well. Feeling really good, in fact - my mind is less troubled and there's a sort of fresh energy about me.
Great advice. I just started nofap. I'm happy to have finally found some support. I've wanted to kick this addiction for many years now and find it helps to write. I have a lot of work to do on my profile! Keep up the good work.
Thanks solidfuture. Felt very vulnerable today until I read some Nofap posts, including yours. Well done for achieving 4 days.
had to reset counter again. PMO'ed last night. My wife is still away interstate, but my son had been visiting and when he left, there was a sort of vacuum. At such times I am especially prone to relapse. I should learn from this and prepare for such times in future. Today I intend to keep busy and do constructive things that give me a sense of achievement - chores and a bit of drawing.
My wife has just arrived back from her trip, and I feel heaps better for having refrained from PMO in the last few days. It was also easier to show affection to her and she felt really good about the way I welcomed her back. I will continue to try to reach 14 days. It'll be easier with her around the house.
Way to go, Bob! 9 days! congratulations. Have you talked with your wife about this, enlisted her support? I think she could be an asset to you, and assist in strength and support as you see your PMO-free days climb. Strength, my friend, for both of us!
Thanks Lucubrare. It is really encouraging to receive a response from someone. I do intend to work towards telling my wife, but I would rather tell her that I have successfully abstained for a considerable time. So in the mean time I am using that as an incentive to keep abstaining. I did once tell her about my struggle - a couple of years ago - and she was sympathetic, but also a little disgusted. She thought I should see a counsellor, and I did so, but the counsellor was most unhelpful. He pretty well said "If it feels good, do it" and couldn't really understand why my P habit was a problem. I have since taken the view that the strength to do this really needs to come mostly from within. I know my wife will be encouraging and helpful, but don't think it would be healthy for our relationship for her to play the role of confessor. Strength and peace to you Lucubrare.
Somehow I have managed 15 days without PMO! It's a great feeling - like I'm breathing again. That dead weight on my shoulders lifted.
I love your descriptions...like I'm breathing again and the dead weight lifted. Perfect descriptions! I just found your posts and wanted to check in. We are on similar paths, tho I've focused more on the P as my main goal. I did not set up a counter for M because P is my main challenge/downfall. I am, however, trying to step back from M...just not counting it with the tracker. So far so good. Having my breath back and the weight lifted is great refreshment.
It's been a difficult weekend so far. Have come very close to failure. Need to hang in there. Spoiling 26 days of abstinence would be such a shame and so deflating. It will be hard to feel there is hope that I can do this. I am determined to succeed. Thanks for the post Jim2015. A message from another human really boosts the resolve.
