Want to give up losing hope

You can't give up man. Think of the reasons why you want to overcome this. If you quit you will never achieve those. . . I'm feeling the urge to view P super bad right now. I'm on a 23 day streak and it's the first big urge I've felt and it's super tough. So reminding you in a way helps me as well. Best of luck brotha

 

http://antidoteforall.com/

this link has a useful tool that may help you.

 

I have similarly only managed 30 day streaks and then relapsed. It is super tough but let's remember that horrible feeling of shame and failure on relapse and keep trying. Don't give up.

 

You need a purpose. Something that'll really motivate you to pursue life with a passion. When your feeling unsure and down, think of your purpose and hold it tight to you - it should be much stronger than the urge to relapse.

Also, check out success journals as I have found those to be much more beneficial.

You can do it man! People have being PMOing their entire lives and have somehow defeated it. I cannot come close to understanding how they would break such a lifelong addiction but they did it. So, I'm sure you can too if you had a good enough reason to do so. Goodluck!

 

It' like my story, I'm working on it since 2 years now, and longest hard mode streak so far was 35 days.
However, I had several other streaks of hard mode, like 1-4 weeks, and over time, I could see a clear improvement.
Relapses have become shorter, less exhausting then in earlier times, and I recover much quicker.
This alone gives me a lot of hope, because I see the progress.

Also, the most important impact was when I understood that I cannot "fight" the addiction, instead I "let it go".
Once I made peace with myself (two years ago now), I made the biggest improvement I ever did.

Overall, the main idea is to build up your "mature" personality, and to "let go" from the other, more "limited" personality, which is connected to childhood trauma and addiction.

Therefore, very good tools are also meditation and relaxation.

• Meditate every day, best morning and evening, and have a clear vision of your mature personality. In your vision, be concrete and precise about certain things you want to achieve.

• And whenever an urge comes up, then relax. Just relax. Let it go liek cluds on the sky. Within five minutes, it will be gone and vanished. Only ghosts trying to scare you, but in fact nothing.

These two parts - "build" the one and "let go" the other - are IMHO the main ingredients.
I clearly see progress, and therefore, I have hope, and I "hope", it gives hope to you!

 

The replies to your question are great, tons of good advise. I've PMO or MO'ed almost everyday for over 40-years! Think about that for a losing streak. It became a major problem with the invention of the high-speed internet and unlimited free porn. Right now my longest streak is 21-days, but that's 21-days with multiple days clean between other relapses which is a huge improvement.
Perfection is impossible, achieving goals is not. If you relapse try to break your next record and most importantly CHANGE something in your life so that you will not be focused on PMO. I'm currently reading several motivational, success driven books to keep me positive and on the right track. So far it's working.
Good luck, stay strong, don't quit. - What choice do you have? If you quit and PMO all day you can guarantee your life will be compromised.

 

Welcome, my "porn career" now goes for about 30 years.

Well, I cannot blame the internet. I started from books and magazines, and the thrill was the same. In fact, the addiction has to do with self confidence and traumatic (childhood) experiences, like neglection, being beaten up, no emotional bonds, etc.

I fully second that. Focus on your real goals, that will shift the focus away from PMO. Build up your mature personality, let lose from your old personality.

Also, you are right about perfection. In fact, the goal for perfection is even a big obstacle of progress!
That's because since there is no perfection, you will feel bad everytime you are not "perfect".
But even more, we need to make so-called "mistakes" in order to learn. It's the only way how we can learn and progress.

For example, there are people who never learn to talk in another language, because they are afraid to talk only a little words. But there is no way around it, you must begin somewhere!

The same is true for getting over PMO. We are refraining from social contacts, from important decisions which lead to a good social life, and thus, we will always be locked in. But once we do and OPEN up, our life will change significantly!

Human life is not perfection, that's what makes human different from robots and makes human life interesting at all!

 

Hi Sam
I sorry what you are going through. I do pray for you. Anyway what has helped for me is attending church and serving there. I also just joined http://www.xxxchurch.com/ and it has really great information in healing from addictions in life.
God bless you brother.