Hi all I'm looking for an experienced member to give me advice on a couple of things. First, I can really see the benefits of semen retention and I've come to the conclusion that ejaculating as little as possible is fundamental to develop any clarity of mind. But at the same time I am a very sexual person and the idea of practicing no solo sex altogether is depressing (my GF lives in another country and we see each other once a month so sex happens sporadically). Tantric non-ejaculatory orgasms are the obvious solution but very hard to get there. Any other ideas on this? Second, I inevitably fall off on day 5 to 8 because, as the levels of semen build up, my levels of anxiety and anger also rise. I appreciate that there is a benefit in living with these emotions rather than dissipating them through ejaculation, but there are moments (I am in one of those right now) when I literally feel intoxicated, my hormone levels must be super high as I can't think clearly, can barely see clearly, and this is obviously a problem in living a normal life. Any suggestions on how to deal with these altered states of consciusness? Thanks.
I'm in a similar situation right now, my girlfriend lives far away and I usually see her for a few months, then have a few months without her. I don't have any desire to PMO, but thinking about sex with her is eating me up. I would say levels of semen building up is an excuse to reset. You may feel pressure because you are fantasizing, which might make your body ready for ejaculation. Someone on here had a good quote: "If you don't set the alarm clock, it doesn't go off". It's not clear from your post that this is the issue, but comes to mind, as fantasizing is a huge issue for me currently. I'm also lacking the willpower to direct my thoughts in the past few days.
Hmm. I've had streak of 6 months + I'm back to Day 2 but I still got some valueable info. Don't focus too much on your "seed". The problem is with PMO. You just need to do a Hard mode reboot for 3-4 months, and then you can have normal sex again. If you have sex within the 1st or 2nd month of your reboot your brain will be confused. See, our brains are conditioned to thinking sex is with a screen. So it takes time for that to get rewired. And no, you are not making new pathways in your brain if you have sex before the 3 month mark. Mark Queppet talks about this, look him up on YouTube. He has really helpful stuff. PS: I don't believe semen is the be all solve all solutions.
thanks, I don't fantasize at all. actually, when I do fantasize, I get hard, then it goes away and I feel good. I think it's literally a physical sensation, it goes in waves and most of the times I'm not thinking about sex at all, it's like hunger or the need to piss, just like that.
thanks, I'll look him up. hard mode is not an option atm, I've started seeing this person recently. I have to say that I normally don't have problems going back to nofap after having sex for 5-6 days in a row, even multiple times a day, but after sex I tend to watch porn - this is a weird thing and I should get to the psychological roots of this. but I think your advice is valuable because I see your point re: rewiring so probably one just needs to go through the difficult sensations and that's it. but it's all very physical for me, as I said above, most of the times I just jerk off with no porn, no fantasies, nothing at all, and then I feel good again, but obviously I'm at square one. 6 months is impressive, well done.
I meant, my longest streak was 6 months. I'm back to Day 3 . But it's a journey, so mistakes are there to be learned from. Think of Porn as a pleasure debt. And rewiring your brain is like taking a big spoon of pain out of that pleasure debt soup and eating it. You might have 500-1000 cravings but eventually when you have quit for 5+ years you will barely get any cravings. It's just an initial hurdle that we need to overcome. The first 3 months Mark Queppet says, is to build your foundation. Go to work, eat relatively healthy, exercise as much as you are comfortable with, do your basic chores. That's basically it. He also says in your free time its okay to play video games because it's like trading up that Dopamine ladder. From Porn to Video games, that's 1 big level. While I play video games I usually never get a craving for Porn. I also used to be addicted to drugs and there whenever I had a craving I would occasionally whip out my phone and play Clash of Clans for 10-15 minutes. It works.
Some great advice from some of the other posts here. The craving to ejaculate can be managed with many other tools, exercise, meditation, breathwork (my favourite atm), tv, video games etc. I like the term "urge surfing" as a way of managing cravings. We often give in to a craving at 95% intensity, if we can surf the wave of the craving past the 100% it will naturally dissipate. By doing so, when the craving does come back, it will be at a lesser intensity, keep repeating and over time the craving becomes so small it is unnoticeable. If we give in to the grave at 95%, it will keep coming back at the same intensity again and again. This graphic shows it well. https://dbtworksheets.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/03-urge-surfing-guardyoureyes-videos.jpg Its not easy and I can certainty attest to how hard it can be to crest the wave of the urge, sometimes literally feeling like I would explode. But it really does work and by sticking with it they have gotten less and less for me over time. Regarding the concept of none ejaculation orgasm. Its something I am studying atm. Its certainly not an easy concept and takes a lot of practice but starting to see the benefits. Clarity of mind, strength in myself etc. To quote The Way of the Superior Man "ejaculation is just a tiny genital sneeze compared to the infinite ocean of pleasure that can be obtained through orgasm". Now that seems something worth investing some effort into! A couple of good books I can recommend. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/79424.The_Way_of_the_Superior_Man https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/764444.The_Multi_Orgasmic_Man
thanks man, I've read David Deida, if you liked it I suggest you give this one a try (John Wineland studied with Deida): https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58772692-from-the-core I'll look up the other one. problem with non-ejaculatory orgasm is that it takes year to learn and a small percentage of men can actually do it. so definitely worth looking into it but no immediate solution. however it's annoying because for us men one good thing (orgasm) comes with a more problematic thing (ejaculation) and separating the two isn't easy. I firmly believe that orgasms, if not done in excess (but even eating salad in excess is a problem) are very healthy. nothing wrong with ejaculation but it does deplete and weakens the mind quite sensibly... I envy women in this regard. can I ask what breathwork you do?
Thanks for the book link. That looks great and not one I have seen before. Going on the reading list for sure. Regarding male vs female orgasm, from my experience comparing oneself to any other person (or a gender of people) generally leads to unhappiness. Stick to whats in your control and what feels right to you. Breathwork, I've listed some in my story (I know, its super long!) https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/a-journey-from-addiction-to-recovery.349741/ For simple daily practice, 10 min Win Hoff For longer sessions, this channel has some good videos.
