Ive been trying Nofap for months now, and I constantly am failing and relapsing. Ive been watching p since I was 12 and now Im 20. Ive got a full on addiction that keeps on getting worse with each relapse. Ive pretty much tried everything; Meditation, Self-Afirmations, Excercise and Cold Showers. Nothing works or lasts. And it seems like I keep on relapsing more and more quicker each time. Its like everytime Im about to relapse, I turn into a whole different human being. One thats lustful and obssessed with PMO. And I can say anything to myself or resist the urge, because I need it so badly. Ffs I even broke my phone on purpose to stop relapsing, yet now I watch it on my Laptop. I recently got a new laptop, and it seems like Tor is messing it up. So that sucks. Anyways I dont wanna do anything crazy like cut of my own dick. Thats just too extreme. Ive already done something extreme such as break my own phone. I would break my own Laptop if I didnt have so much Uni work that I have to do. And of course I have no one in my life to talk about this to. I told my one friend who I was close to about my addiction, and they didnt seem that interested. Completely didnt check up on me since I told them. So now Im at my last resort which is to stop NoFap, but instead focus on P addiction. I am planning on MO in the toilet to satisfy myself everyday, even if I dont have any urges. I know that if I get urges, Ill jump straight to P ....and wouldnt even think about just MO. So hopefully if I MO once or twice a day, it'll stop my need for Porn due to less exposure to it. I just want to starve my P addiction..... So my question is....would I make any progress if I only MO ? Im not expecting much I just want to cut off my connection to P. I also want to know that if I MO to P-Induced Fanatsies....would it be the same as MO to P ?
Hey brother, Thanks for sharing, it is important to know that you are not alone. Thankfully, this forum is filled with people just like you. The fact that you are trying at all sets you apart from everyone else who do not acknowledge this as a problem. I remember when I first started my journey with NoFap, I did pretty much the same thing. Tried to meditate, tried cold showers, I work out everyday and talk to as many people I trust about it to get it off my chest. I think I expected that doing these things would naturally weigh me off of PMO. I now understand that is a naïve mindset, and needed to look deeper. I realized that my mindset is damaged. I believed that girls only wanted to have sex and were not looking for any true love. Watching porn is objectifying, and so is fantasizing. Once I accepted that fact, then the real work began. I have been with NoFap for some years now, and I still have a hard time abstaining from PMO. However, since I have started I have gotten the amount of times I PMO from 3 times a day, to 3 times a week. It is not easy, I currently am working full time, going to uni full time, and going to the gym early in the morning. I also am learning to play guitar, and am saving up for a camera so I can pursue photography. Develop hobbies and habits, it will help. Keep meditating, I know it doesn't seem like it works but it does. I suggest looking up guided meditations on youtube or the Calm app. The app helped me most of alll. As far as MO'ing, I suggest you recognize what your goals are. If you think that MO'ing without porn will be helpful and assist you in reaching your goals, then that is up to you. For me personally, I know that if I MO I will most definitely go back to P. So I am taking baby steps, setting goals to finish my education (this is my last semester), develop my hobbies, meet a girl I love for more than sex, etc. Good luck man, reach out if you ever need anything. Telling friends could be tough, so when it feels like you have no one to talk to, you can talk to me. I mean that. We can just email, we can text, or we can zoom. Let me know what you are comfortable with if you are interested.
Yh I just feel like if I keep myself sexually satisfied, then I'll have a better chance against the P urges. I do realise that if I do get P urges, Id rather watch P instead of just MOing. However my goal is to MO before I get P urges. So in a way I weaken the P urges due to fatigue. And hopefully due to less P exposure, I'll get rid of my P addiction and also P-induced fantasies. Yh I think it would be nice if we keep in touch. We can pm each other ?
Of course, it is all about your own personal goals. I think that would be great, pm me when you are ready.
The problem is that for porn addicts, porn and masturbation is so intertwined that it is very difficult to stick to one without the other. This is made more difficult over time as your tolerance level build up and you start craving a stronger dopamine it. It will likely make you crave porn more, and not less. Also, the times when you are experiencing very strong urges (such as during M) are the times in which resisting porn is the absolute hardest anyway. I wouldn't trust that state of mind to keep you disciplined (i.e. this state of mind).
Ive been doing this for 2 days now. I honestly feel like I am doing it better than ever. Im about to update my journal My MO journal | NoFap® But for me personally. I hate porn. I really do. However its the urge I cannot resist. The urge to masturbate to it. Now what im doing is that im satisfying that urge before it becomes a fully fledged porn urge. Leaving me feeling tired and not wanting to masturbate again. All that will be left is the curiosity of wanting to look at porn or missing the videos. And thats something I can personally control I believe. Im one of the lucky few who can masturbate without porn and do it fully with imagination. Though im still masturbating to my porn-induced fantasies, I hope I start masturbating to the more vanilla shit soon. Though this is all hypothesis. I need to see if I go on weeks and months like this and make progress.
Just be aware that the reason that many people on this forum cannot simply masturbate without also using porn is the exact same reason that you (just like so many others) have gravitated towards categories that stray away from the "vanilla shit" - tolerance. Your body becomes conditioned to getting a certain kind of stimulation and after a while, it doesn't work anymore. It's the same as with any other addiction.
I mean I would rather masturbate to Porn then without it. But as of now ive made accessing porn hard for me ( I broke my phone on purpose). I also got a new Laptop so I really do not want to fuck it up with Tor. So like I have many obstacles there that are fighting my addiction especially my pure hatred for Porn. Now the only thing left is to control the Urge that seems impossible for me to fight. And Prebating ( Masturbating before getting the porn urge) seems to be helping. Now ive realised that whenever my dick is horny and tingly, the thought of Porn doesnt follow. Just the feeling tiredness and not wanting to masturbate. And thats due to Prebating in my opinion. Offtopic: But another thing that makes me keep going is that my Orgasms are so much better without porn. Like a lot more better.
I too am interested in seeing if this works. It does make me feel more at ease then fully going Hard-Mode.
I haven’t looked at porn in 6 weeks but have still masturbated a few times and I’m as depressed as ever. I believe I start to heal after about 20 days of no PMO but I struggle so much to get past 2 weeks. I hope you are able to heal which ever method you choose.
That really sucks your friend didn't check up on you You have to bring it into the light. Tell your parents. I know it seems impossible, but tell one of them, whoever you are close to. When you bring the secret into the light, it loses some of its power and hold over you, like magic. As a last resort, do that, not MO for God's sake! no you will make almost zero progress if you continue to MO. P and MO are two sides of the same coin. Read this: its a pdf called "why you should never masturbate". I hope it helps you. Its not a fishy link. It works, hope it helps whyyousnm (mediafire.com)
why is MOing on the toilet a "last resort"? A better last resort would be telling a friend or roommate or parent about what you watch, or to have them have access to your history, make sure you can't delete it, and have them get a report of your history, or block every site that causes you to relapse The last resort, i recommend, is telling someone irl. Because people online cannot really help you. And you are still "hiding" in a sense. No one else in your life knows your struggles. Idk who you would tell, but ideally it should be someone you trust. Another last resort, is making a youtube channel where you have to update your nofap progress. When you relapse, you would have to be honest about it. Im sure that idea probably would scare you more than anything, but thats the point. It would actually prevent you from relapsing
Oh I will never tell my parents. Never. Theyre overly religious and paranoid. They'll probably try to excorcise me. I dont know this whole MO thing feels great. My Porn urges feel like theyre slowly getting dulled and Im feeling more calm and satisfied.
Plus I do understand that this method wouldnt be a benefit to a Masturbation addict. But I masturbate 2 times at best each day. And im planning to cut when my porn urges get lesser and weaker. My goal is to masturbate once each week.
Yes. In my longer streaks where I don’t masturbate, I have more confidence and self worth, I’m able to look people in the eyes. I also am less emotional. I think it is best to give up PMO cold turkey but I realize that it is also a process of ups and downs. If you’re able to stop porn, start there. Have a goal to eventually stop MO as it isn’t a healthy escape. Best to face your problems and pain head on and not try to escape through fantasy and MO. It really is about deciding whether to fight or flight. Those are the only 2 options in the end and staying and fighting through the pain will have a better result than fleeing through MO.
There's no one way to fix this situation, it's so many different things that come together to really truly go on and try to beat this. I think for me, as someone who is still struggling I have no doubt, but know what I am doing wrong have to say that these are the things that need to happen. 1. No half measures This thing has your gripped, it's not going to disappear one day and you'll be fine, you've got to work for it and give your all to getting through it, if you don't it will always haunt you. So don't take any half measures, don't allow yourself to make excuses or just take a peek, you've got to be in the fight 24/7! 2. Get rid of your smart phone (I said no half measures) Smart phones are amazing, they open our world up to so many different amazing quality of life apps, information that we wouldn't know and instant messages to friends, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Tragically though, they close people off from the realy world, maybe not everyone, but many people find themselves sucked into their phones and never looking up (I mean just look around you on the street or in public places). For porn/sex addicts, it is no doubt the case. One minute we're just relaxing, then BAM there's an urge, and within 30 seconds you can be looking at all the sexual material you ever wanted, any fetish, any body type or even specific people. It's hell for us, it makes it too easy for us, and that's why it needs to go. 3. Find a group or a person to help you I think for me the best thing I have done is join my weekly SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) group in my city, it has opened me up and made me for the first time see other addicts, not just read about them over the internet. A place like NoFap is brilliant and supportive, but I think getting together face to face (or over Zoom as it is currently) is game changing. Seeing the faces of other people with your problem, some over it and some still struggling just give you some motivation, you can see there's an end and you can see that you're not the only one. If you don't want to reveal yourself that's fine, I am joining weekly phone meetings aswell, they're available for all and there's no discrimination there, no judging, you can say your peace and listen to others knowing that it's all confidential and anonymous. I would highly recommend the face to face meetings though if you have one in your area. If you do join a group, swap numbers, call people daily or less if there aren't enough people to call 7 days a week, and get yourself a sponsor straight away. Just have an open mind. 4. Excercise No doubt you've heard this over and over, or read it on here, but excercise is a great way to help overcome addiction, and also just great for your mental health period. For me there's no better feeling than waking up in the morning, not wanting to get my arse out of bed, btu making myself do so and go running for miles, pumping some weights or working on cardio and abs based workouts. Another one that I can sadly not do right now is Swimming, for me I adore swimming and can't wait to get back to it, but be warned you will see people half naked, so that's something to consider. Excercise is great in a pinch too, doesn't always have to be strenuous, but when an urge is coming you get your arse up and start moving, flail those arms, kick those legs, get yourself on the floor and do some press ups, just work yourself and don't stop til you feel a bit more clear headed. 5. Tell someone If you haven't already, I recommend talking to a friend, maybe multiple friends, even your parents. Addiction thrives in secrecy, we kind of enjoy that it is ours, but when you expose it you drag it out of the place that makes it so powerful, your own mind. 6. No half measures Yeah I'm saying it again, you can't do this unless you go all in, it will be too hard and that I guarantee. I have fough for 6 years and still I am fighting, but I am always learning every step of the way what is right and what is wrong for me. Can't use the PC when your alone without urging? Move it somewhere else with other people around or you can be seen from outside, otherwise if you live with parents, detach your ethernet cable or wireless adapter and give it to them certain times in the day, or just always and only take it back if you really do need it. Can't use the internet without an urge? Then block sites with the many apps out there, if you don't have the money to pay for them then a good one I recommend is Leech Block, it's free and although you can access it, you can make it harder or impossible by giving someone else the chance to set the option password, then you're never changing the blocked sites. You don't trust yourself even when youre using the internet with all these problems out the way? Then get an accountability app, it does cost money though and haven't found one that hasn't, but you can have that lingering feeling there to scare you that someone else (who you trust ofcourse) can see everything you are going on, not a nice thing to know if you are like me and aren't proud of your past history. I'm sure there's plenty of other things that other people say, but I can't think of them and you can probably find them around here somewhere, so I hope other people answer your plea because I know how you're feeling. Good luck friend. P.S. Just one more thing before I go, NO HALF MEASURES!
Also, I wouldn't recommend MO just to get through the urge, as that could become an equally bad problem, you could even get the chaser affect from it, whic would lead you to get that high because you din't get the same buzz as when you MO with P, so just be careful on that, I hope my way of approaching it helps though. Especially the SAA, I couldn't recommend it more!
extremely good advice. Seriously. I messed up with porn bc i had my computer screen turned so that parents couldn't see. big mistake, always be out in the open. be accountable. be honest is very important
