Hello NoFap, this is my first post. I'm nineteen and made the decision that I was gonna quit PMO in November of 2021. Over seventeen months and I've nearly reached where I started, can't even keep a week streak anymore let alone three months. What I've really been struggling with lately is motivation. I hardly wake up with the will to go to work, after work is always depressing because I don't have the strength to do what I have to, and I don't have the strength to keep fighting anymore. I know a million why's to quitting- every negative effect it has, every positive effect from abstaining. But somehow I can't find the big Why. How can I find the motivation to keep fighting like I know I should, and some days- the motivation to just keep living? I think most of where all the depression comes from is a combination of loneliness and the fact I work full time and am not in school, with no idea what I'm supposed to do with my future except die in a dead end job alone
My dear young fellow, you have your whole life ahead of you. I totally understand where you are at, and it is a totally valid feeling you are having, but know it only takes one unexpected turn of events to completely change your life for the better. I have been where you are, and had the same feelings, but managed to keep going and so can you. At your time in life you can do anything you want. You can completely change your life's trajectory and do something that you never believed possible, because you have what many people do not - youth. I would strongly suggest you find a good therapist, or someone you can talk to without fear of judgement, and then decide what you would like to do. Perhaps you would like to move to a different country, perhaps join an international aid organisation, or perhaps you will go back to school and learn anything you find interesting. In any case, you have options, so find a good therapist, or friend, and take it from there. As regards nofap, I have also been there, and am currently on 90 days free, but it is a struggle every day. Every time I feel the least bit stressed my brain tells me to fap, but I just do something else and ignore it, so don't feel disheartened if you fall, this is a journey not a destination. We are all with you lad, keep up your spirits and find your lifes purpose.
I know this feeling too. We want to stop and we have our reasons why but they are not as strong as the heat of the moment. There is so much suffering in this addiction. One part of the brain is full of wanting and the other part is trying to say no. This duality of thought is suffering. Im starting to find my strength again, Im finding it in the understanding that this can all go away if I learn how to be present with this inner duality. Face the suffering now and let the clouds clear from the mind.
