NoFap

Age 41 – After 30 days of quitting porn

Gentlemen and ladies,

I’m obligated to give a 30-day report, for reasons I will explain. Also, I know it will help me feel awesome.

With regard to superpowers, I’m not running my own company (yet) or making fashion models drop their shopping bags in awe, but I am having consistent small successes and victories in my life which, taken together, do add up to the miraculous, especially relative to how I was living and felt 31 days ago.

Most days, I don’t feel my life has changed that much (other than no PMO). But I have a sense that a seed is planted and swelling to life, that a tide has turned, and that massive, massive change is afoot. I glimpse it in small (yet huge) ways almost every day.

I think the foundation for all of this higher self-esteem. Not arrogance, or even confidence much of the time, but a stronger sense at my core that I am valuable and that I can handle life. You feel it too, because you’ve made the same decision I have.

The result of this feeling is small-but-better decisions throughout the day, which are rapidly adding up to a better experience of life.

I “find myself” doing the following:

  • Getting up in the morning
  • Exercising every day
  • Looking women in the eye and speaking more confidently with them
  • Opening small conversations with strangers
  • Turning off video games in favor of something more productive
  • Closing internet tabs that are a time sink (YouTube, news sites, etc.)
  • Choosing to make that phone call to a friend, or answer the call that’s coming in
  • Choosing to go to that hobbyist meeting I’d been considering
  • Choosing to come clean with my therapist that I have a porn problem
  • Taking small steps on a half-dozen projects that I’ve intended to start for a long time but never have
  • Standing up straighter, holding my chest out a little more
  • Generally choosing, moment-to-moment, to move toward healthy/positive things and away from unhealthy/negative ones

Before, I would stay in bed all morning, or read internet bullshit for hours (often leading to PMO). Now my brain says, “You’re better than this,” and I get up, get out, and take positive action.

Then, immediately, my brain witnesses this change, and thinks, “Whoa, that’s new, that’s good” and my self-esteem gets another little uptick. Ultimately, I seem to be in a POSITIVE FEEDBACK LOOP, rather than the negative one that PMO created and gradually wore me down, down, down for, well, decades.

To be clear, this does not happen all day every day! Last night I wasted lots of time playing Plants v. Zombies! And I felt shitty about it. But I also did a shitload of productive things yesterday. And it’s the latter that resonates in my consciousness, which is what got me up this morning and writing this post to help you guys/gals (and to help myself!).

I have had a few external things that are inexplicable, but real:

  • I have had men at events/gatherings introduce themselves to me
  • I have had attractive women start conversations with me, and even blush at their own awkwardness (bizarre!)

Sexually, I’m basically dead. I’ve been more or less flatline since Day One, with only a hand full of half-mast erections. (Not literally a hand full, fuckers. I meant “a few”.) Actually this morning I had some wood coming and going that was stronger than I’ve felt yet. Mentally, I’ve very attracted to hot women, and check them out (not creepy tho), but I have zero physical response and no sense that I could perform if I got the opportunity.

But I don’t care! I mean I do, but I’m being patient. I’m actually grateful for the serenity and quiet, when so many of you are struggling every day to fight urges. My willpower has historically sucked, so I’m not sure I could stop myself.

So….so far, so good. I’m enjoying the slow awakening of my positive self, and hopefully, a new sexual self eventually. I feel hope for the first time in a long time. I’m sensing the early tremors of a massive life shift, and I hope it’s real.

Now, let me close with this:

The MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do for your recovery is to GIVE to others in recovery, and I’ve found no place better than here. YOUR opinion and experiences are valuable to others here, no matter how freaky or “unique.” In fact, the more oddball your experience, the more likely you will help that other oddball that is just like you and feels totally alone. YOUR support matters to someone else here, no matter how small or weird you feel on any given day.

If you take nothing else from this post, take this: Comment regularly on NoFap, especially a little deeper on the New pages on posts with zero comments. Also, post your own experience regularly on NoFap, both your victories and your struggles, ESPECIALLY as you get into longer streaks. There is a high percentage of Week 1 people here, and they need the insight, support, and inspiration of longer-streak folks.

Go support someone in the New section right now. I mean it!

Stay frosty, Faptains.

NoFap results originally posted by NoFap user iampowerlessover (source)

Comments

  1. Humano says:

    I’m in my 10th week without seeing porn. It is very difficult. My mood gets worse and I get angry a lot. I hope all this improves and I can take it a little longer. It is encouraging to read them to you.

  2. kindu says:

    you can do it just belief in yourself

  3. anonymous says:

    I think it would help for you to have control over what you think throughout the day. Stop thinking about PMOing, and when you do feel like thinking about it, then think why its wrecking your day,month, or life.

  4. fatso says:

    very inspiring man. im happy that you see the bright side of life and that you are real with yourself yet optimistic. keep it up!

  5. Felipe says:

    Very cool man i’m in day 5 now, just the begining of the journey,, but i’m hope this journey last forever, it’s so fucking cool what this did to me in just 5 days, i hope my life get even better!
    Thanks!

  6. Sharn07 says:

    Hats off! This motivates new members like me to!!!!

  7. Nikstick says:

    Thank you for your story it saved me at day 5. I am homered to have read all these stories and yours from great people who are strong and I feel it will rub off on me ;). Stay strong my brothers. I have faith in everyone out there.

  8. Stonez says:

    I’m just get starting with NoFap. This is my 1st day. I wish get successful of this! Thx for ur story, it’s inspirational!

  9. Tantrafox says:

    Keep up the good work.

  10. Hassun adam says:

    Im in first week tried and tried I’ve done it for a month longest I need help people.

  11. Paul says:

    I don’t believe I’m addicted to porn but it is ruining my relationship. I go months without watching and one day have the urge to just watch it then I begin to do some edging until one day I masturbate then it’s back to nothing for months. I’m scared to tell my girlfriend that this is the issue but she’s ready to leave me.

  12. Jatin says:

    I’m in 21 days. Going strong for the reboot. But exactly after 21 days when the semen storage gets full. I get a wet dream. This is the first time in life I had a wet dream. I don’t know how to comprehend this. Has my 21 day success gone in vain?

  13. Ten toes says:

    I’m sexually desensitized because of porn and fapping. I’ve had problems with ED since I was like 15. Hope shit changes.
    Anyone know how long it will take?

  14. John F says:

    My day 1 and i’m excited along with a bit of scariness about how this journey will be. I wish i should have reached to this stage. 🙁

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