NoFap

Age 41 – After 30 days of quitting porn

Gentlemen and ladies,

I’m obligated to give a 30-day report, for reasons I will explain. Also, I know it will help me feel awesome.

With regard to superpowers, I’m not running my own company (yet) or making fashion models drop their shopping bags in awe, but I am having consistent small successes and victories in my life which, taken together, do add up to the miraculous, especially relative to how I was living and felt 31 days ago.

Most days, I don’t feel my life has changed that much (other than no PMO). But I have a sense that a seed is planted and swelling to life, that a tide has turned, and that massive, massive change is afoot. I glimpse it in small (yet huge) ways almost every day.

I think the foundation for all of this higher self-esteem. Not arrogance, or even confidence much of the time, but a stronger sense at my core that I am valuable and that I can handle life. You feel it too, because you’ve made the same decision I have.

The result of this feeling is small-but-better decisions throughout the day, which are rapidly adding up to a better experience of life.

I “find myself” doing the following:

  • Getting up in the morning
  • Exercising every day
  • Looking women in the eye and speaking more confidently with them
  • Opening small conversations with strangers
  • Turning off video games in favor of something more productive
  • Closing internet tabs that are a time sink (YouTube, news sites, etc.)
  • Choosing to make that phone call to a friend, or answer the call that’s coming in
  • Choosing to go to that hobbyist meeting I’d been considering
  • Choosing to come clean with my therapist that I have a porn problem
  • Taking small steps on a half-dozen projects that I’ve intended to start for a long time but never have
  • Standing up straighter, holding my chest out a little more
  • Generally choosing, moment-to-moment, to move toward healthy/positive things and away from unhealthy/negative ones

Before, I would stay in bed all morning, or read internet bullshit for hours (often leading to PMO). Now my brain says, “You’re better than this,” and I get up, get out, and take positive action.

Then, immediately, my brain witnesses this change, and thinks, “Whoa, that’s new, that’s good” and my self-esteem gets another little uptick. Ultimately, I seem to be in a POSITIVE FEEDBACK LOOP, rather than the negative one that PMO created and gradually wore me down, down, down for, well, decades.

To be clear, this does not happen all day every day! Last night I wasted lots of time playing Plants v. Zombies! And I felt shitty about it. But I also did a shitload of productive things yesterday. And it’s the latter that resonates in my consciousness, which is what got me up this morning and writing this post to help you guys/gals (and to help myself!).

I have had a few external things that are inexplicable, but real:

  • I have had men at events/gatherings introduce themselves to me
  • I have had attractive women start conversations with me, and even blush at their own awkwardness (bizarre!)

Sexually, I’m basically dead. I’ve been more or less flatline since Day One, with only a hand full of half-mast erections. (Not literally a hand full, fuckers. I meant “a few”.) Actually this morning I had some wood coming and going that was stronger than I’ve felt yet. Mentally, I’ve very attracted to hot women, and check them out (not creepy tho), but I have zero physical response and no sense that I could perform if I got the opportunity.

But I don’t care! I mean I do, but I’m being patient. I’m actually grateful for the serenity and quiet, when so many of you are struggling every day to fight urges. My willpower has historically sucked, so I’m not sure I could stop myself.

So….so far, so good. I’m enjoying the slow awakening of my positive self, and hopefully, a new sexual self eventually. I feel hope for the first time in a long time. I’m sensing the early tremors of a massive life shift, and I hope it’s real.

Now, let me close with this:

The MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do for your recovery is to GIVE to others in recovery, and I’ve found no place better than here. YOUR opinion and experiences are valuable to others here, no matter how freaky or “unique.” In fact, the more oddball your experience, the more likely you will help that other oddball that is just like you and feels totally alone. YOUR support matters to someone else here, no matter how small or weird you feel on any given day.

If you take nothing else from this post, take this: Comment regularly on NoFap, especially a little deeper on the New pages on posts with zero comments. Also, post your own experience regularly on NoFap, both your victories and your struggles, ESPECIALLY as you get into longer streaks. There is a high percentage of Week 1 people here, and they need the insight, support, and inspiration of longer-streak folks.

Go support someone in the New section right now. I mean it!

Stay frosty, Faptains.

NoFap results originally posted by NoFap user iampowerlessover (source)

Comments

  1. Foreigner says:

    Encouraging to read. I have gone a year doing the same. However, the last month I have had a lot of stress at work, and have hadde several serious setbacks. It has now come to the point where Iam starting to completely lose control and I dont know what to do…

  2. Heynong Mann says:

    I’m only on day 2. I so needed to hear that. Thank you for posting!!!

  3. Goingslow says:

    A few diversions and ideas. I am 44 and this is my 13th day in to a 30 days nofap challenge. I have done a 30 days hard reset twice in the last 2 years. Something that I thought I could never do. I have always wanted to take my addiction under control but could never do. Since I have master my penis, my will power gets stronger. Which allows me to do something like 3 days water fast.

    What helped me and I did not know it before was going on a 80-85% vegan or non-animal diet. It lowered my sex drive enough that I was about to obtain after 3 months into. I learned later that there are 3-4 herbs that does the same thing, it lowers one’s sex drive. And the fasting will also lower one’s drive too. If you tax your body with low energy, your libido will dive; your unconscious will not be making you grab that meat saucer.

    Diversion? Try doing PE that is penis enlargement! If you exercise and fatigue it, it will not give you trouble. Doing PE requires will power and discipline. Try also extreme edging; that is sperm retention; also known as male multiple orgasm. I know it is trading one addiction for another so beware.

    Taking control of my penis have given me the power to control my orgasm. This is one HUGE reward for increasing your will power. My 30 days nofap is to prove to myself that I can enjoy the power of sex and not be a slave to it.

  4. Simon Wells says:

    Hi thanks for sharing your story. I am 47 years of age and i wasted 30 years of my life on PMO, so i know how gradual my recovery is going to be. I am 2 and a half weeks into NoFap and i have had many many attempts at quitting PMO since i turned 40 years of age, and i was relapsing over and over again.
    This community is literally a life saver for me, as i found that prior to finding this there was very little information out there for PMO addicts like ourselves to find solutions to this destructive addiction that robbed me of many years of my life.
    I feel so enthusiastic about this that i aim to eventually help others conquer this addiction and transform their lives for the better.
    As for where i am on a positive note i am beginning to get me back, because i lost myself for many years in that existence. I am looking to improve my relationship with myself and i really feel like something great is occuring where this is concerned. Anyway i won’t ramble on . Again thank you for sharing your account of your recovery.

  5. P. Swazy says:

    Today 11/10/2016 marks day 1 of my journey… i worked out today for the first time in almost a year also…. i must make this change. I dont plan on commenting again til my 30 day mark! Good luck to u all

  6. hub says:

    day 20
    I almost touched myself, but you made me not to

    I already feel better
    thanks!

  7. Gibbs says:

    Thanks for the post. It’s helpful to just know that I’m not alone and there are others who understand. I’m starting Day 11 of the ninety day reboot.

  8. Empowerment says:

    hey! that’s great! the longest I have ever gone is about 22 days. I am going to go for 30 days now! I get these crazy urges and almost feel like it will never go away (i know it will but it feels like it wont) any tips guys?
    what do you guys do when you get urges?

  9. Jason says:

    Thank you for your testimony. I’m 23 and now close to day 30 of nofap. I’m a Christian who has began to take his religion very seriously, so quitting porn and anything sexually arousing in general was a no brainer for my spiritual conquest.

    When I think about the positive side effects, there is only a few. One of the best being the fact that I’m not constantly beating myself up in an endless pit of shame. Actually, that’s a huge plus!

    I do indeed find myself more attracted to women. I haven’t really had the chance to be around women in a social or work environment since I’ve started this, but I’m interested to find out once I am able to find employment in my local area.

    Through my teens I suffered with depression. And threw my young adulthood I’ve suffered with anxiety. The depression is most definitely gone, and I feel as though my anxiety is going away as well.

    The most notable difference is my loss of interest in drowning out my reality with things like Marijuana and Kratom. My addiction to Marijuana has almost completely disappeared. Last time I smoked, it just wasn’t the same. I enjoyed it, but it was nothing I wanted to seek again afterwords. Kratom was a waste of money for me as well. I’ve come to enjoy being sober again. This is the biggest plus.

    Of course, I can’t end this post without giving credit where credit is due. I wouldn’t have gotten this far if it wasn’t for my Heavenly Father through daily prayer and repentance. My faith is at an all-time high, and I feel control slowly slipping back into my grasps. I WILL NOT GIVE UP NOW, NOR EVER AGAIN.

    At the 30 day mark, I’m going to attempt at fasting for 3 days. I hope my willpower has reached a new watermark by then.

  10. Andy says:

    Wow! That was really interesting. You gave me more motivation to stop watching porn. I feel very grateful for your work and time.

  11. mike says:

    I have struggled for years with porn addiction. A few years ago with the help of a therapist I was able to make it for seven months. To be honest since then life has been better even when i view porn because i know i able to stop again. I find myself going on streaks of a month or two without porn. The most effective tool I have found is talking to my wife about it. I have asked her to follow up with me on Saturdays and ask how i did this week. The good side is when she asks I find myself motivated and I can make it a few more days knowing I do not want to have to admit to looking at porn and feeling weak. The down side is if she forgets to ask I use it as a justification believing nobody cares and that i am stupid to work so hard to quit.
    Anyway life is great and all these posts make me believe it is worthwhile.

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