Hi all, I started a 90-day reboot on 9/1. No porn/no fapping but I am ok with orgasm if it is part of an intimate relationship. I have not had one since my divorce over 10 years ago so it might not be a factor. I am 47 and have been addicted to porn/fapping since 7th grade. I never even realized this was a problem until the last few months. I saw a couple TED talks about porn addiction and it really opened my eyes. Anyway, thanks everyone for being here and I'm wondering if you can answer some questions for me. If anything I am asking has already been answered somewhere else, feel free to point me to that resource. But I would like to hear personal stories if you are willing. I have never done this before so I don't know what to expect. I'm excited about that part but also am a little afraid because I may get surprised by something and reset. I know the experience is different for everyone but can you tell me what kinds of changes or stages you went through and at what time interval? What are the positive changes you experienced and what kinds of things caught you off guard and caused reset. I'm looking for this info as motivation but also to know what to watch out for so I can be successful. Again, thanks everyone for being here!
Expect it to be hard. Expect to get tons of energy. Expect more confidence in yourself as you get further into the reboot. Expect stronger urges and periods of constant horniness. Keep yourself occupied to have an easier time to succeed. Also the more active you are and the more things you do the easier this challenge will get. If you're constantly busy it will be a whole lot easier. Read everything you want to know on YourBrainOnPorn.com, RebootNation.org, yourbrainrebalanced.com to begin with. Look at the videos too. I have personali noticed more confidence, extremely easy time to talk to women (I've never had this problem but it became insane after 1 week), stronger emotions, stronger urges, more and steady eye contact, more women will notice you or simply you will notice them notice you, generally happier and more positive for no real reason etc. This is just a part of everything. Install porn blockers etc. K9 web protector is very popular and highly recommended protection program. However, I do not personally recommend it because when I installed it my computer stopped working properly and I had to remove it for everything to work (nothing worked). Know your triggers and do what you can to avoid them. Good luck!
Hi and welcome! First, take into account that the challenge is going to be hard. You need to be prepared, you need to have a working routine, something to keep you busy. If you want, you can take a look at my own routine, at http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?20036-Galaxim-s-journal&p=107905&viewfull=1#post107905 I can tell you about my personal stages: 1. The first day after mb (avoid chaser). 2. The first three “hard days”. 3. The week gets complicated at the seventh day. 4. The addiction begins to lose its power after two weeks. 5. I have reached one month: now is only a matter of adding days. 6. After 4 months of abstinence, you start thinking that mb is “normal” and that you're “cured”. So why not mb “just this once”? What to expect? I wrote about my 90 days journey at http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?19043-90-days-of-freedom To put it simple, stick to your routine no matter what. Avoid being with the computer/devices as much as you can. If you absolutely must be connected to internet (for your job, for example), install some filters. But remember that the best filter is inside yourself. Always keep a reminder of why you're doing this. Read it at all times: when you're tempted and specially when you're not. After a few days perhaps you're going to feel that you're "cured". Trust me, you aren't, as this takes time, effort and patience. Mistakes that led to my last relapse, after 101 days of abstinence: -Drop the marble counting, my visual reminder. -Stop taking cold showers when the situation turns out to be unbeareable. -Start looking to "harmless" pictures on the net, only for a few seconds, AKA "the first peek mistake". -Stop reading posts and commenting here. You'll have to be ruthless with yourself for this to work: no pictures, no videos, no more fantasies. This is the shortest and easiest way to accomplish this. I strongly recommend you to read the blog http://nofapsolideo.wordpress.com/2...ut-breaking-a-sweat-after-7-years-of-failure/. That's the blog that lead me where I am now: only two relapses since 9th May 2014: https://docs.zoho.com/sheet/published.do?rid=z1v901bce7a7d8a804a49ba931d3ce97ee0db Get yourself a PMO counter, a spreadsheet and an AP (accountability partner). Post here daily. The most important step: are you convinced of never using again? Because if you are not 100% convinced of this, you're going to relapse. You need a strong reason why you're doing this. If you don't have a plan to stop using FOREVER, the other plan (the automatic pilot) is to keep using. Never lose hope, never quit this journey of improvement of your life. If you have any more questions, please let me know. Galaxim.
The above posts have it spot on. You will be a lot better off if you hit the gym & stay as active as possible. Nofap has helped me so much. I am far from finished. It's my first attempt & I have to make sure I don't lose focus because I'm near 90 days. It's a life long quest. 90 days is a good short term goal at the beginning. Stay strong
If things go well for you, you can expect to get your brain back. That's been the biggest benefit for me - not finding myself constantly under pressure to view and act out. Now I can be home alone and not troubled, browse the internet without feeling the constant tension and brush off minor triggers that would have had me caving in not too long ago. For example the recent fappening hoo haa didn't bother me at all. My level of patience has increased and apparently I'm better to be around in general - according to my wife who made this observation before she was aware of the nofap thing. However I personally don't believe in a "cure" as such. I think long term addiction indicates a general weakness in that area that we have to live with. So easier over time but it's not like we're going to lose sexual urges - that's too deeply built into the machine I think. Anyway, lots of good things that make it well worth it as well as some continuing pressure. I would agree with all the good advice above on giving yourself the best chance. In particular read, read, read and learn all you can to understand the process that causes the problem and is key to the recovery. I'd also recommend Norman Doige's "The Brain that Changes itself" and "Mean Genes" as two books that shed light on the matter. Hope that all helps. P.S. And keep coming back here for inspiration and support
Hey everyone, thanks for the GREAT info and for the support. This is exactly what I as looking for. The trick for me I think is to keep active in the forum. I've never been good at "reaching out". This challenge is going to fit in well with a couple of other changes I have been working on - exercising and less screen time. Again, I'm really grateful for the support!
I agree. I have to be grateful to the addiction because it lead me to NoFap, which in turn lead me to a process of self awareness: each day is precious, so I always try to make the best out of it. In sense, to overcome MO/PMO you are forced to live a good life: you must exercise, meet people, have a hobby. And to keep out of MO/PMO you must mantain those things
Great post--excellent advice. I just found this website (learning the terms, steps, etc.) after months of desperate tactics to avoid indulging in the ridiculous activity of "fapping" over pictures on the internet. This is my first day...fixing bayonets!
