I own a river tubing side business. Every day I help literally dozens of women and young adults into and out of their flotation devices and often need to boost them out of the river. Surprisingly, as I have stayed close to the nofap community this exposure has not been a problem or trigger for me. Why? I think part of it is that I recognize that each bikini is an opportunity for me to exercise discipline and grow by not 'sneaking a peak' at the woman's body. I am helping each of them along with the men on the trip of course understand safety and get to know each of them a little bit. They look to me as a professional to whom to some extent they trust their lives. This creates a sort of professional but also intimate connection with each of them rather than a sort of objectifying distance. I think that porn use often occurs when we feel isolated from and powerless toward women we are attracted to. Why my periferal vision is aware of the exposed flesh around me, somehow with my nofap and determination not to cheat, I recognize and can savor the beauty of each face. Some have beautiful bodies and many not so but some how each has the same goal to get down the river and have fun and this seems to be a great equalizer. I have an acquaintance who wanted to come help me and the best way I could describe him is pathetic. He was trying to sneak a peak down women's tops and fixated on their bodies. Surprisingly he wasn't aware of how creepy he was being. I shutter to think of how unaware I could have been in my old ways. The funny thing is his type of behavior isn't satisfying for him and just makes him want to do more self damaging things. He is despised by most women even though I would objectively say he is better looking than I am. How grateful I am that truly immersing myself in nofap and staying close to the community morning and evening and sometimes more often gives me this strength. It is a wonderful feeling not to feel desperate around a beautiful woman. It is wonderful to appreciate the individuality of each face and each personality which I could never do when I was simply comparing T and A and fleeing from the 'less desirable s'. I feel this unity now with all of my customers: women, men, hot, not and it is wonderful to be connected to all these as opposed to having sex with the most beautiful video or 1 night stand. Thank you all for your support. Life is good and I am grateful for each day of recovery, that brings me more and more satisfaction and sensitivity to those things that are most important in life. Cheers!
Hi. This is an excellent post! I also experienced the same pride in my work and respect towards women when I chose NOT to look. I ran a day care for 7 years, and there were many beautiful moms. In the begining, I was overwhelmed with their beauty, but as you said, I felt isolated from and powerless toward these women, which led me to strange behavior - no doubt, they noticed. There is a great feeling in not looking when you could, and the women, and men know that you respect them. I worked in an ER, and as a med/surg NA for years too, and this was also an opportunity to see everything...it takes guts, and terrific respect NOT to look when people are at their most vulnerable time..great post! DrSim
Great post. I feel so embarrassed by the way I used to gawk at women. I'm only 49 days in but feel I act differently around them. drsim & know_a_bit you are both gentlemen.
Congratulations. I struggle with inappropriate eye roving. I've gotten much better, but I don't think I'd be ready for know_a_bit's line of work yet. Keep it up.
You are doing great! For me, this forum plus what it says in my signature is all it took. I went away for a while, but now I am back!
Its funny Singed, Fapadonna and DrSim: Today was actually a bit tough (I should have expected that after this confident bikini announcement post . Was at work on the river and felt a little out of balance among the bikinis today although I kept appropriate. Also have a couple female friends I interacted with after work (one of them an employee) with whom I would really enjoy getting into a physical relationship but deep down know it wouldn't be due the kind of bond I want to have with someone I am intimate with. Part of the trigger was that I had some customers whom I let down yesterday through employee mis-communication. The other is that my son is visiting and I have guilt that I have caused him allot of stress in his life as he is now struggling with periodic but significant feelings of depression. Last night he broke down and even this morning wasn't back to himself before I went to work. Anyway so I am on here tonight to get myself back into the vision 100%. I am so grateful for the opportunity of rubbing shoulders with men like you. It makes me a better man. I really can't afford to lose more of my life to fapping. Sure as I've said to others on here slipping a day or two isn't the end of the world but it is the raised probability of another day and another day until finally years have passed in a haze of fapped existence and opportunity lost. I want to complete this day feeling 100% just for the sake of today. I can feel that being on here is a vehicle for doing that so I can safely turn in for bed. Tomorrow I will concentrate on tomorrow and realize that eternity is a chain of never-ending nows.
Wow what a job, and what a hardship to face. Inspiring posts here. Keep up the good behaviour. Now I'm quitting I try to focus less on womens body's. That's really hard but everytime I don't look I feel like a winner.
That is correct. Every time indeed.... If we can have one half hour of self respect a day as a result of the the tiny steps towards recovery..it is worth it!
NotLate: I can related to the wonderful feeling to 'feel like a winner' with every time we choose not to look. What an easy way to be a silent superhero! I am certainly not perfect in this but I hope I can always focus on the times I make this choice rather than the times when I indulge.
Back to work Weds through Sunday: Will be tricky as my kids are going away at the same time and I'm not sure where I will get the money for a lawyers appointment this afternoon. Also have a rental suite am trying to get ready for the end of month and although progressing, I seem to get little done on my own.
