Hey everyone! I'm Cole and I'm 23 years old. I have been addicted to masturbation and porn since I was 11 and I have bee trying to truly beat this addiction for almost a year now with not much luck. I tried just resisting urges but that didn't help. I purchased the Fortify Program from Fight The New Drug and had some success, but in the end I ended up falling short of where I want to be. I have a girlfriend that understands my addiction but I want to get better for her. I am really looking for some new tips on how to beat this addiction because everything I have tried is not working. Thanks!
Hey @cchain25 , welcome to the forums and well done on signing up, it's a good decision to have made! What have you tried so far? What's been your strategy? It'll help us to know your journey so far. I'll quickly share two of the most important lessons for me: 1. Take responsibility - no more playing the victim, no more shifting the blame. Even if you hate porn, you see it as evil and see all the harm it does in your life, the uncomfortable truth is that it's part of your life because of the choices you have made. Somewhere along the line porn has taken hold of your brain and it feels like something external exerting its power over you, you feel helpless to fight it, but that's a lie. You can fight it, but you have to accept that it's part of you and nobody else can beat it for you. You slay your own dragons. 2. There's a quote by Socrates that sums up the process perfectly for me - "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new". This battle isn't so much about fighting pornography, it's about building better habits, a healthier lifestyle, stronger relationships. This is a journey of self-discovery. The thing that has surprised me, but also delighted me, is coming to realise that you can't beat porn addiction without completely changing your life. It's not an overnight thing, but as you shift your attention towards living positively, proactively, productively, little by little you'll become the man you always wanted to be and the old habits of porn and masturbation will fade away and be forgotten. You just won't need them any more. I'm sure others will have plenty more to say, and there's plenty of people here who are more than happy to speak to you, answer your questions, and get along side you. This takes courage and perseverence, but no exaggeration, this is the best choice you will have ever made in your 23 years on this earth. Good luck
Hey thanks for the great words of encouragement! I have tried working through programs, but they have always fallen through. I think most of the time I just get so caught up in school and work, that when I have the tiny amount of down time, I result to watching porn. I struggle with diverting that to something more productive and I think that is my downfall. I know I can do it and there is that small part inside of me that is trying to break through the urge and tell me to do something more productive, but it never seems to fully come through. If I can get that to come through and push me towards something positive, then I feel like I can beat this.
Sounds like you've got the right get idea. The trouble with porn is the instant gratification, at the time you get a really exciting feeling for apparently very little cost. Except we all know that as soon as it a over we feel like crap and it turns out its cost us a lot. But when you're in the moment and the urges are there then your body feels like it's getting a good deal. You've got to retrain your body to prefer the long term rewards of a healthier lifestyle.
I know I'm not addicted to it like I thought I was I just do it once a day and I'm good without it the rest of the day don't sit on the computer all day masturbating u can just do it once and take a shower after and go out side to take a walk and ball basketball or ride a bike or watch some tv read a book or play a video game
That's awful advice. This website is for people that want to quit watching P. You are not helping with your foolish example.
Ok I'm sorry porn is bad you should never watch it again just read your bible and pray try to have a relationship with a women instead
