Hey guys, I'm 15 days in to no fapping and I'm starting to go into a mindset that I dread more than the mindset of giving in to arousal..... It's the mindset where I start to question what the whole point is of this. I'm close to logically concluding to myself that this 90 day reboot is an illusion, that it won't help me be in control of my urges. I've been reading up on guys who've reached 90 days and they have admitted that the addiction has never really gone away and that the recovery will be a lifetime thing. I must ask guys who've surpassed the 90 day mark please.... What are the real benefits of reaching that goal? I need feedback so that I don't end up "logically" giving in to relapse. Thanks!
Wannabe, Thanks for your reply, appreciated. I need more info. What do you mean by tearing a new one into addiction?
Yes addiction is a life long thing ....you never really lose the taste for pmo.....it's like pizza.....you still like it...even if you haven't had it for 20 years..............BUT the urge to PMO is less stronger...and it no longer is a major part of your life....so if you get to 90 days the urge will be a lot less...and you will have power over....it will no longer control you and you will control it.....
Hey buddy, Not sure if this is the information you are looking for but I feel like I'm in the same boat. I'm about 19 days in and have the same fleeting thoughts every now and then. I even made a post trying to justify me fapping once by calling it 'tactical' lol (I didn't fail though). My advice to you would be to have a proper analysis as to why you are doing this. If I'm entirely honest I don't believe I have an addiction to PMO but my approach to it wasn't as healthy as it should have been. This is my basis for NoFap. I also just want to see how long I can hold out for as a test of will power. Reboots are a very personal journey's so take what you hear online about other peoples reboots with a pinch of salt - not everything that works for one person will work for another. As for the 90 days, I don't reckon its a 'magic' number but just a solid time frame for you to sort of mentally detoxify yourself. Porn is very damaging even if we aren't consciously aware of its effects, but our brains are constantly rewiring and adjusting to out reality so I think that 3 months is sufficient time for the brain to burn out any of them thoughts/urges. Also watching porn desensitises you and you may find yourself having to search deeper into the sides of porn to find that same level of satisfaction as before, abstaining from that for a while will allow your brain to return back to 'factory settings' so to speak. Anyway bro I wouldn't recommend fapping just because you've already got this far and to lose it in a matter of moments simply isn't worth it. Whenever I feel like failing I think about it like this; 1 PMO session = .5hrs (30 minutes) 15 days = 360hrs (21600 minutes) TWENTY ONE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED MINUTES. All that time accumulated, all those benefits accrued, to be wasted in 30 minutes (or less) IDK about you, but for me this helps me open my eyes a little bit when I feel like I'm slipping. You can justify anything to yourself if you really want to, hence why I think you're trying to "logically" convince yourself and its making more sense as each moment passes. Sorry to rant on but I just want to make sure you're really thinking clearly about what you're doing. If you do relapse its not the end of the world, not a lot of people could make it to 15 days so that in itself is an achievement. You know what you need to do for yourself. I don't know you, but I believe you will make the right decision for yourself. Either way stay strong and best of luck in all your endeavours. Peace, love and universal blessings Seven.
@Lz77 is right, 90 days is apparently the average time it takes for your brain to rewire. I think you can read more about all this at www.yourbrainonporn.com. I think the bigger thing is for you to identify the reasons that you're putting yourself through this. They will be personal reasons that are unique to you. Try to frame it positively as well. Don't think of it as giving up porn, masturbation etc, think of it as gaining x,y,z. It might be to gain self-confidence, self-control, to make more productive use of your time, to rid yourself of guilt and shame. If you're only working towards an arbitrary number of days, yeah you're gonna feel like it's pointless. But if you're working towards practical, tangible goals then you're gonna have a real fighting chance at turning your life around.
Thank you all for your replies. And a special thanks to you Lz77. Under no circumstances is your reply a rant. All the information the better for me. You, as well as philstronaut recommended I find out for myself what my goal is. I appreciate you guys reading up the following. Joining in this honesty, I don't watch porn.... Well, not actual porn. I don't masturbate to it. Never really appealed to me. However, my arousal and addiction stems more from movie/series scenarios of married or taken women who decide to cheat on their partner for a "stronger, more masculine" guy. This all happened as a teen who came across the Nip/Tuck series by accident. I am 26 years old, and I still haven't been able to overcome the arousal. I started NoFap because I realised I've been allowing myself to masturbate excessively almost every day, against my own will. Orgasms would be poor, erections forced. It felt like I had no juice left in me, but something in my head was not being rational about it. What I want to achieve is the ability to masturbate with total self-control. I want to be able to tell whatever it is that causes my compulsive fap habits that I do not want to fap until I feel fully rejuvenated enough to do so. Hop this makes sense. This is what I'm hoping a 90 day reset can do for me. Again, your views are totally appreciated
As others have said, the 90-day reboot is no magic bullet. Think about this though... Just because it won't take away the PMO urge permanently, is that any reason to give up? The reboot is a good foundation for a life of healthy sexuality. I reckon that's reason enough to push on. Strength & clarity. T22.
Its a life long thing my dude. It may sound overwhelming now, but you need to get to a point where logically you understand how unnatural and how unhealthy PMO and high speed internet images are. There is no place for it. It doesnt mean you can never pmo ever in life again but you have to get to a point where you dont need it. Use the realization that this is a lifelong journey as leverage to seek out real relationships with women in the real world. Good luck.
No worries bro, sometimes we just need to break things down to really getting a clearer understanding. Rather than thinking too too deep into things, take it one day at a time and I'm sure you'll find what you need. Again best of luck with everything.
I can agree with all of this, I don't know for sure if I have a porn addiction per se, but I definitely had an addiction to masturbation. What is getting me to stop is my virginity and my desire to be sexually active. I masturbated out of boredom because I had a lot of social problems and didn't have many friends in my life. I want to say that the time I first hooked up with a girl (few months ago) and couldn't get erect convinced me, but I relapsed after 2 weeks. It's been another 2 weeks and I have very little libido throughout the day besides waking up in the mornings. I can't explain it but I just have no interest to PMO or MO.
