Happy to be here!

Helloo Fapstronauts!! I am excited to be here. Help is here at last or so I think. Let me tell you about myself and why I am here. My name is Alex I am from Nairobi, Kenya. I think I have been masturbating for like 12 or 13 years now. That means I started the vice in 2002 or 2003 while I was in high school and I never knew I would get this hooked. The side effects are not something to smile about folks. I knew crap had hit the ceiling last year December when I tried to get it on with a lady and man, it was embarrassing af. I have never been in such an awkward situation. So here I am with this lady she is stroking my member and it's not responding. She's wet as hell. Sorry hell is not wet. So she's wet like a river and I can't help her out. The last time I was in a serious relationship was in 2009 then we broke up and I took a sabbatical from heart matters. I think thats where matters started looking south for me because I remember I started watching porn more frequently. And jerking to it. Relationships became casual. Friends with benefits. Tapping dem hoes in the streets.
My sex life was not that bad by then. I could rise to the occasion when a lady needed me to. And my performance, like that of a F35 jet engine. I lied to my self. I watched more porn and jerked off. (Btw I am using past tense because I believe I am not going back to that life again) Twice a day then it escalated to five times. I would jerk off whenever a window of opportunity arose. In the shower, in the bed under the sheets, at night, morning and basically whenever I was alone.
I abstained from sex after campus 2011 up until 2014 December. I don't know how i managed to do it up to now. But i never quit masturbation. I jerked off like daily since 2011. When I decided "screw this abstinence thing!" and tried to have sex the first lady everything went well according to plan. Days that followed nothing changed. I went and watched porn and jerked off again. The second lady I met I experienced ED for the first time ever. I thought I was dreaming.
But something has surprised me fellow fapstronauts, If I fuck a hoe in the streets I perform beyond expectations(but she has to suck my willie :-( ) but if its a lady i like and she has come over to my place or i go to her place, crap happens. I cant sustain an erection enough to penetrate her. Why is this? My last experience was last saturday night (28/11/2015) a lady came over and we just slept in same bed coz I could not make love to her. Surprisingly, like a week before that I had sex with a prostitute in town and performed exceptionally well. She was even amused. So from then I have not fapped and by good luck I learnt about NoFap challenges on youtube and thats how I landed here. Its now 4 days of NoFap and no porn and I am enjoying my new life. I have concentrated more on a web design course I am learning, i have installed a software to block any porn sites on my laptop and so far so good. Tomorrow will be my 5th day. Hope I wont relapse.
I need loads of encouragement than ever before. I need fapmates to share experiences with so that i don't lose track and go back again. That's why I will leave my email here, you share with me, encourage me, give me tips.
And oh by the way, I lost my job this year on August and I have not been lucky to land another one, I am in Kenya but hey, if you know any other country where I can land a Graphic Design Job ( preferably newspaper/magazine design. I have 4 years experience. I am thanking you in advance. It will also help me quit this vice. I don't want to go back there again. Never again. Not even looking for hoes.
Thank you good people for reading and I believe you will offer me the support I need.

 

Thanks man! How has your journey been like? I am hitting day 6 today. My first target is 30 days which is December then in January 2016 I set my new year resolution to Nofap for 365 days. I hope I will never relapse.

 

hey vipi joh. thnks we shall overcome