OK, I'm glad I'm here. English is not my native language, so sometimes it can be tough to understand me. I'm going through hell. Battling this pmo addiction ever since july of 2014. Never reached ONE week on hard mode. My biggest no pmo streak was of 6 days. My biggest no porn streak was of 22 days. I'll keep pushing through. I got amazing superpowers when I tried, felt completely on top of the world and made many friends (girls), kissed many girls, my acne improved 80%, my skin was glowing and wonderful even with acne, I felt extreme positive energy, in short: for the first time ever, I became a badass. I got so manic that I had to take Seroquel for some months (I deeply regret that now.) Self-esteem and confidence hit me so hard, but so did self-deception. I couldn't believe what was happening. I went through what I considered a permanent change. I thought to myself ("hey I already won the game called life, there's no way EVER I can be a beta fag again" or "pff just watching porn and fapping once in a while can't hurt that much"). So quickly I became egocentrical and relapsed on porn, smoking and even psych meds again. (I have a long sad history with pills and drugs). Now 6 months later, it's being a challenge going more than 3 days without masturbating, or one week without porn. I'm completely alone, lonely, full of zits/acne, weak voice, faint heart, left my school due to horrible shame of how I look now. I am feeling just like I did before starting this nofap experience back in july. But this time, I'm failing hard all the time, and starting to lose hope. Can someone help me, or please at least try to cheer me up? I want to be a man again, one of you, one of us. There is hope still... doesn't?
It sounds like you might have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder? If so, I hope you have achieved some stability Edu. This challenge is a marathon, not a sprint. So, guard against becoming euphoric over short-term results and changes.
Dear @EduHunter, you must be feeling really shitty at the moment and it seems that there is a lot of self-loathing going on. You strongly desire a friend, a companion, an honest connection. Always remember that you are a human being, born against all odds to this Earth. No matter your circumstances, there are countless stories of people who have overcome absolute adversity to succeed in life (Eric thomas, anthony robbins, and all these motivational speakers). I strongly believe that suffering and difficulty is a blessing in disguise (you may be thinking what a load of crap im saying but hold on), because once you hit rock bottom, EVERYTHING positive that happens to your life (even slightly positive) is amazing. If you were always shy with girls for example, talking to them for 2 minutes is a MIRACLE. And that's a great way to live life, to have the sincere appreciation of anything that is even remotely positive. The only way left is up! You may not see it now, but when beautiful things start happening to you as you push through, you will understand what I mean. All I can do is to give you hope. And there is always hope. The human experience is limited and we have all eternity to be dead. Let's just do our best to overcome the odds while we are alive. Like to share with you one of my favourite movie quotes from the movie Shawshank Redemption - link: In this video, Andy Dufrescne, in a bid to convince his good friend to escape from jail, says that, 'we either get busy living, or we get busy dying.' Living as best we can is ultimately a CHOICE. We must find the strength within ourselves to push through- meditaiton, exercise, taking initiative to meet people, TAKING RESPONSIBILITy, recognizing the value/destruction of our actions. May you be well.
go for 4 day streaks for several weeks in a row. or something like that. start smaller. there's no other way. you will buld up the resistant with time.
give your self credit, your trying to quit. a lot of people don't care and keep on doing the same old.
Unfortunately, I do have bipolar. In order to keep my mood in check, I have to avoid all drugs, even caffeine. Somehow I feel that what's pushing my mood to the darker side, is my acne, that is currently terrible at the moment. I'm starting my second course of Accutane today, so I'm feeling really hopeful, but at the same time fearful of the drug's side effects. I gave up on taking psych meds last year. After several years of multiple medicines tried, several combos, benzos, alcohol, lsd, weed. All of this resulted in my involuntary admission to a local psychiatric ward for some months. Well, safe to say that I did my biggest streak there (45 days), without even realizing it . I quit smoking 2 months ago, and I may (rarely) drink a beer or two, in moments of intense agony (that's all). My acne is one of the factors that make me struggle with isolation and being alone. I feel strong shame of going out in the daylight, or even talking close to girls, my face is badly scarred and inflamed. But I hope it will get better now. I am christian and pray everyday, and have started to go to local church meetings. God has been my best friend. Thank you all for the positive replies, I love nofap, it has become a revolution in my life.
Thank you friend @getmylifeback91 life is indeed hard for me, maybe fo you as well. Sometimes my heart feels like it will explode of so much pain and frustration. But it never did, and I don't think it is close to happening. I can't wait to get my first one week streak. I will probably cry of emotion. Can you help me? At 4-5 days on nofap, I feel really tense all the time, even my muscles get so tense, that it's hard even to exercise. My heart beats fast and intensely, like I said, it feels like it will explode. I feel in panic for some moments, and end up relapsing anyways. Any opinions? Maybe it is extreme anxiety?
Anxiety is a common factor here. Just keep a mental picture of how you want your life to be. Push hard to keep on track. You can do it!
You are not alone, i was once like you, i kept trying and failing for over 5years ,there were sometimes when i completely lost hope i thought that it was my destiny to stay a looser for the rest of my life,but now and thanks to this community this is my 6th day without porn or masturbation.so whenever you feel like giving up ,ask yourself: is this going to make me happier?will it bring me success in my life? this helpt me alot to survive without fapping during these 6days.start by setting up small goals and then continue with bigger ones.and remember that is never too late to quit fapping.as long as you are still breathing ,there is hope. Ps:sorry for my bad english is not my mother language too
