Relapse... damn it. I was on day 7, and I broke. It wasn't that I couldn't have fought it, the temptation to M just got so powerful that I gave into it. No P involved, not that that's in any way redeeming. I feel terrible. Not just guilty, but I just feel like absolute scum. I really wish I hadn't, but hindsight's always 20/20. I need tips, guys. What do you do in that moment of decision? I know obviously I supposed to choose not to, but how? I'm trying to do all the things in the other time (meditation, avoiding places where I could see P accidentally), but I broke in that one moment.
Hey bird! First thing I would say you do is to let go whatever that happened..you might have got an idea of "what led to you going back"..that minute factor..identify it and take steps to rectify it next time around...just don't give in. I know how you might be feeling..but think, you've succeed seven days and that is definitely a great improvement.. just start over and better your best streak!! (p.s Why don't you consider writing a list titled "Why you want to quit porn"..so that you can refer to it, especially if you feel uneasy so that you can stay focused..thought I'd share because it worked for me ) Take care. Stay strong! cheers!!!
Hi man. Don't be too hard on yourself. I'm still on day 19, so I'm no expert, but PMO is bad enough for ya. Calling yourself scum after an entire week of abstaining? That's just too much, my friend. My advice is to trust yourself to go as far you can. And no worries if tiu fail...just start again. And hey, if you only MO four times a month, that's a great improvement than before! Right? You'll eventually get there. We all can.
You ain't scum, bro. You did an entire week. But you got to remember, don't let excuses lead you back to your path. As relapsing is a part of one's journey, I would disagree. It is a choice on whether you masturbate or not, it all boils down to motivation and determination.
Like the others said you are not scum. You should forget about fixing the past by calling yourself names (trust me, its not going to work, I have tried). You can think of it as one more step on the journey: you reach 6 days now, next time you can reach 12 days (or if you can many more days, I am not limiting anybody here). You can also consider what are the end result of relapsing again, if you feel bad now, its OK, it will eventually pass, but if you continue doing PMO, the bad feelings will never go away. Besides, in 6 days most people see some improvement so there is no reason to throw that away for a second or two of dopamine.
Relapsing is just messed up. I have relapsed so many times since I decided to stop PMO and I regret it every single time. I could made it to 1 month once, after a lot of 7 days relapses. You just need to keep motivated in order to achieve your goal and NEVER give up. I wish you the best of luck.
Keep going, buddy. I know this might sound cliché, but even by day one, you just need to ingrain in your mind that no matter what, no matter what kind of insane urges I get, I'm just not going to do it. It is literally a matter of reprogramming ones mind. Sounds easier said than done, I know, but it's kind of the only way. Reprogramme your mind to completely hate PMO. It takes time, but actually just pondering and meditating on how much you want to never PMO again helps you to believe that you want to hate it, and eventually... you will hate it. For me, I'm learning that NoFap is not just about trying to abstain everyday, it's more about reprogramming the mind, 24/7 to stop thinking about everything in an over sexualised manner. I'm always speaking to myself, either verbally or in thought, concerning how much I just want to be finally done with PMO. Train your mind throughout the course of the day. If you're not fully conscious and aware all the time, an urge will come and you'll just go along with it, and before you know it's day 1 again. Decide that this is it. No more PMO.
I was watching a video and a pornstar popped up in the video. Was I triggered? Hell yes. Did I want to go watch a video of her? You better believe it. But this is my 10th time trying to reboot, im pretty serious about not relapsing now. You have to tell yourself "Ok, I'm at a point where I am triggered and am likely to relapse, its in this critical moment that I have two choices - A. Don't Relapse or B. Relapse - What am I going to choose? And If I choose B, then I might as well get ready to go on nofap and write a blog about how I failed." Yes its hard, we all know that, but part of rebooting is facing triggers and defeating them because lets face it... in the 21st century we need computers/internet so we WILL face triggers. Its takes strength to make a conscious decision and not relapse.
Hey. Stay strong. Resist the temptation to binge. Here's my tip. NEVER allow yourself to get to the moment where you have to make a decision. What you should do is wake up every morning and do a self-evaluation. Look at how the previous day went, look at any times or places where you could have looked at P or where you could have M'd and make the necessary decisions to avoid those situations again. This is a day by day thing. You can only take it one day at a time, an willpower can only get you so far. I'm serious. Willpower might get you a week, or two weeks, maybe even 90 days. But eventually, you get tired, and you relapse again. Getting out of your situation permanently requires everyday evaluation. It gets tedious, but at this point, aren't you willing to do ANYTHING to stop? I've been struggling with my addiction for almost 2 years and feel like I might have some valuable insight, so if you need any tips or advice, don't hesitate to message me It's not the end of the world. Learn and move on *thumbs up*
What you said was perfect. It is so much of what I've being doing lately. I had to look at your post twice to make sure it wasn't me who wrote it lol. This has been my new method as of recent. I really think this is the best way, especially when it comes to the whole evaluation thing. Self reflection is so important as well. I'm watching myself and my emotional state all the time. Sometimes when I feel lonely, that can also be a trigger, so I'm able to catch myself every time. I'm reprogramming my mind altogether, literally, telling myself how much how hate PMO, to not fantasise, to stop viewing sex as so important altogether. I'm having to rid myself of all the lies fed to me by society altogther. Like you said, what happens after 90 days? What if I feel insanely horny by day 200? I can;t let that shit happen. I NEED to plan ahead right NOW, in advance. I've seen people relapse at day 200 and that shit scares the hell out of me, man. I'm not gonna let that happen to me, so instead I'm just completely and utterly detoxing my mind and thought patterns altogther. This is for life. Thanks for your comment, it was a great reminder and reassurance that I'm on the right track.
Yeah, it's the only way. My willpower always gives in, especially when I'm in places where I shouldn't be or when I'm online too late. And yeah, planning ahead is how you have to do it. Relapsing scares me too, but the thing to remember is you can't live by fear. Living by fear and shame is what got you where you are right now. You have to change because it's the best thing to do, don't change because you're afraid of relapse or because you're embarrassed. It's a lesson I've had to learn the hard way, and some days I still act out of fear haha You're always on the right track as long as you're still trying.
