Hi folks, Last night I came out as a porn addict to my girlfriend, Elle. I plan on asking her to marry me, but knew I wouldn't do that until I had put my addiction on the table. It was a tearful conversation, but we are both committed to the relationship, and I am now more committed than ever to quitting porn. I am looking for support for Elle. She has a lot of confusion and is feeling "ALL the emotions." I wonder if other partners could tell me of good places for partners (maybe, particularly women) to get support and info for this. Are these forums a good place for partners to get support? Thank you for your advice and encouragement.
Sorry I can't really add any answer to you, but I would like to say well done to you. You've done well in confessing. All the best to you both. She is your ally in this, not your enemy. Help her to feel this.
Hey there, she might want to look here: http://www.posarc.com/ This is a site dedicated to partners of sex/porn addicts exclusively. She can also always message me PS: Well done! Honesty is the only way towards love and connection. That was a very brave step in the right direction. Even though she is probably hurting like never before, she will get through it. And the two of you will get through this together, much stronger than before.
Thank you so much! I also saw yours and ronswanson's comments on my status, so thank you both for the support there. I will talk to her about joining NoFap messaging you--thanks for extending that offer! I will also show her that website. I think it seems like a good one—after several years getting nowhere in 12-step I'm leery of anything that smacks too much of the coaddict/codependent model, so the trauma model seems like an interesting way of looking at things. I'm not sure she feels like a trauma victim from this, per se, and she's still committed to the relationship, but I think we're both still processing thoughts and feelings from my admission. She may discover she needs more support than she currently thinks she needs as she continues to process.
There are lots of women in relationships on here. Your gf would be able to find us on here. Hopefully that would give her some support. We're a pretty awesome bunch if I do say so myself. It is a horribly difficult issue to face. But with complete honesty and a strong will to fight for your relationship, you can come out the other side. I wish you both luck xx
Thanks, DireMerl. She's a pretty awesome woman so I think she'd fit in with a pretty awesome bunch. I told her about the forum, and she may just join in.
Hello @stealing_the_key Well done for coming clean to your gf. Hopefully you can come out a stronger couple on the other side of this. Communication is the key to everything. You have to talk till there are no more words, and then say some more! It is what makes the difference. That and honesty. Please send your gf along. We'll take care of her
Thanks for the support @TheWife! My gf, @lady_from_the_prairie, just joined nofap, so hopefully she'll see you around!