I'm 28, and was raised on the internet. I remember the first time I saw P was the first time I had an erection. I remember being so young that I didn't even know what I was looking at, but knowing that I liked it. I must have been 7 or 8. As I grew older, I became more and more interested in girls. But I still did not know what sex was. I was maybe 9 when I kissed my first girl. I thought she would get pregnant haha. Moving into adolescence, seeking out photos and glimpses of P were my primary driver. The rapid heartbeat, the excitement, the DOPAMINE. My parents had web-blockers, but I would furiously investigate ways around them. Some sites could get through. The habit only escalated from here - a nightly routine turned into a mutliple daily routine when I no longer lived with my parents, and no longer had a girlfriend. Meaningful, long term relationships have never flourished, and the habit only continued as that multiple daily routine. After years of indulgence, I'm here now. Resetting my mind circuitry. "Rebooting" if you will. Multiple attempts, of course. But 15 years is a long time to rewire from. I don't PMO anymore. Never will. But a little support doesn't hurt.
Welcome to the nofap brotherhood,welcome to the rfirst day of the rest of your life! It's gonna be good mate!
Hey buddy, welcome! I'm sorry our society has come to 8 year olds being impressioned by such horrible things. It makes me so sad Just like your thread title, we are conditioned to believe porn is normal and okay. I'm trying to do something about that. Baby steps for now. One of those steps to me is helping as many people on here as possible, especially newbies. That's why I created the Newbies FAQ of compiled facts and opinions in one place. Check it out by just pressing on it in my signature. Let me know what you think. Good luck my good sir!
Just posting again to check in. I've been able to resist many triggers lately. I feel like maybe my mind does not affiliate digital images with pleasure or release anymore, but rather pain and disappointment. I think that's probably a good sign - a sign of progress and healing. I don't ever want to go back to my old habits. And I never will. Goodnight.
I went out to eat with a female friend of mine last night (she's also kind of an ex and I don't really have any female friends unless they've dated my male friends). Okay I digress. She's my friend. Although I probably would sleep with her again if the opportunity arose. Okay I digress again. We were eating and this really attractive girl came into the bar and had the same glasses on that I had seen a young pornstar wearing in some porn video or whatever. And then I thought to myself, damn, the porn stars are now influencing fashion and the vernacular. Because so many fucking guys are glued to their computer screens. Either way she was really hot, but it saddens me to affiliate an attractive woman with a pornstar. I wish I could just see her as attractive and not have those associations. I blame myself. And I blame my culture. The culture of constant stimulus of satiated desires and instant gratification.
It'll take time buddy, I've also been struggling to re-wire my brain from the many years that I was indulging myself in the horrible habit. Once your body gets a reset in how it works when it comes to sexuality, you should be able to see other women as they are, and not constantly compare them to pornstars. Keep going man!
