Hey guys, i took nofap challenge after 15yrs of pmo. Its day 54 for me ... HARDMODE... my problem is this: Evrey few days, sometimes few times a day, I get some thougths about ex girls, or get text from some girl and then i get hard, no way thinking about porno or anything related anymore, just real life things, but still i get HARD evrey few days... No touching it, not Orgsam of course just hard. i feel its natural beacuse im very sexual person, and my body is missing this in my life, my urge isnt much for fapping more for releasing this urge/energy someway so i get hard.. does it slow the process of reboot? its very important for me... im here beacuse of PE and ED... and I really want it to be behind me for life.. Thanks for any help guys!! Cheers.
It should be fine as long as the texts you receive do not amount to sexting. Sexually graphic texts will harm your progress, so be cautious. Also, when you say, "I get some thougths about ex girls", try and shift your brain from that as soon as possible. Especially if those thoughts are sexual. Sometimes, this addiction can reassert itself by stealth, so be self-aware and keep your mind off sex as much as you can. You are doing well to be at nearly 2 months with no PMO, hard mode. It is a sacrifice, of course. But what is a few months of sacrifice to have your entire sexual function back as new! Keep that objective in mind:- remain aware and strong!
WOW man you said evreything i had needed to hear!!!! really thanks thanks thanks!!!! Well my thouths about my ex is about sexual postions and acting, yes i know its aint good, but at least its aint porn, but sometimes i feel lonley/depressed so i let with knowing in my councisenes this thougths to stay, to feel better, but now after you had put it like that, i will let them go away, beacuse as you said, i have a life of oppuntirtinty to have new experinces with sex. hope all the thougths i had till now havent fucked this reboot.. i know its not all about the 90DAYS , its more about being relaxed and let it go natural... but in someway im abit exploding inside and after the 90days im alredy have partner to go try it out, beacuse i need to release some stress here. and im missing real life sex and no porn fucking shit. Ill try from today to get myself more out of traps, like i dated some girl not long ago, and she talked about horny stuff and made me strong urges/arousles. was stupied as i know it will be and i wont be able to do anything there. will be glad to hear more tips if you have, really strong words man!! cheers
In order to overcome these difficulties i blocked and deleted all ex girls as they are triggers for me I want to start a fresh! There's plenty of similar if not better girls out there. For me no MO reboot is a total fresh start! I would put everything on hold until rebooted enough and then get back on dating etc . I relapsd heavily at day 37! Which i regret. But i need "me time" for the next few months to reboot; gain weight, and save money. New year new beginnings!
Saaaaame... I thought about my ex for four months... just last night I realized how little thought I had given her. I get what you mean about getting hard. It happens. Just as long as you aren't thinking anything bad or touching yourself you'll be fine. -Squeaky Soul
You are welcome buddy. It's good that you're reaching out for extra advice and support - we all need that my friend. In your original post you described your problem this way: After my post, you added more detail about the "thoughts about ex girls": You claim you were, "no way thinking about porno or anything related anymore, just real life things", but that is not accurate. Because when you imagine having sex with previous girlfriends in your favourite sexual positions, you are still using: artificial sexual stimulation. Why? Because there is no actual person there with you. In other words, you are producing pornographic images in your mind based on your memories of having sex in the past. But it isn't real so, sadly, it is preventing your brain from rewiring and healing. I recommend that you apply the advice @alexander gave you here: I am pleased that you see the need to change. You need to be strict with yourself - we all do. By depriving the brain of sexual thoughts, images, fantasies and activity, your brain will have the chance to heal and your PIED will be gone!
I'm not as far along as you guys but I usually get to a point in my recovery where I too have urges and feel that I need a release, but don't have anybody to do it with, so either I can suck it up and hope things get better or act out because I feel "I deserve it".
I want to say first good job with 54 days! That is a feat in itself. Now, I know what others have said, but I wanted to express my opinion. Firstly, in a way its harmful, but I think what you are experiencing is more beneficial that harmful. As stated previously, refrain from erotica (textual porn) as well as visual porn. You should be striving to change your mindset daily. Strive to be the better man, strive for not objectifying women. It is biological that a man will look at certain female attributes immediately when we make visual contact, the trick is to remember that is someones daughter, that is someones future wife. Look but don't linger. Bounce your eyes away from the sexually stuff. It is tough with PE and ED, and my honest and personal experience recommendation is for you to not worry about the ED at all. As of here forward, you do not have ED. You do not have performance anxiety. You are just another person, living his day, and trying to better your life. The less you focus on the matter as a whole, the faster and more effective your "reboot" will be. Focus on you. You have to want something more than PMO, and while it can be sexually motivated, just remember if that is your motivation then your motivation will also be your struggle instead of your aid, it will be a incessant reminder, and that can make it all the more difficult as you approach 90+ days.
Hey man! Thank you fro my heart for really reading my posts and giving it real thinking/replay , its mean alot for me, im not regular of people caring like this for each other. feels great!! I really dont have the words to say how i appreciate it... Now you touched exactly the points i knew , but tried to hide from myself, like the thougths about postions and stuff, i knew subcouncines its same as porno, beacuse for real its all in my mind. sometimes its strong then me, and im so so so want good sexual life back, something i dont think i never had in my 27yr in this world, that im tempted o think...and now its abit dissapoiting that i will maby need more then 90days after doing this for 56 beacuse of my thougths, i know i know it not all about the number, but dunno, the thougths that if i hold on enougth, i will "cure" myself, hold me to keep doing this. im tryin my best with distraction's, sport, working, going out. the truefh my trap i started getting back connecting to some girls and its the biggest trap, and now i find it hard to give it up. Plus at end, im having very hard time in my life, im after big depression, and feeling emotionless , and hardly doing some sport and part time working. trying to rebuild my life, but overall dont feel so good.. so the sexual thing is like a pleasure in my dark world, even the thougths. hope ill find something else to hold on to that will make me feel better.. anyway, PROUD OF YOU MY MAN!!! 208DAYS!!! WOWWWWWWW For real!! Can i ask why did you start it in few words? and did it help this issue's? did you got back to real intimcy with women? Cheers!!!
Hey thanks for the long answer and really reading my post, Well i hope that saying im cured from ED is so easy said then done i think... Well performnce anxitey is something i have for long time beacuse past bad sessions...vicouse cycles that go with me for years... And yes with this challenge i had took, 1. Stopped smoking 2. Do diet and lost 7k 3. Started doing sport 4. Nofap... Cheers man,... hope this road will be fullfing for you also and you reach your target!!!! Well but as i said before, im having hard time in life, struggling with depression and overall not good feelings in life, feeling stuck... and the having good sexual in my life after so much years is some sort of light in the end of my tunnel... i know its aint very good to aim so strong for this i need to realse it to get it healed...
Yes your abousltly right, I need to disconnect any connection with women till im done with my reboot beacuse its only make me nasty thougths, and dealying i think my reboot problem is, its aint so easy all time to find partners for sex, even one night stunt... beacuse thats what i want later on fr the start to practice my thing withut pressure... and i want to keep those girls for later time... but ur right... always we can find new ones... and only way for REAL REBOOT is letting go from all this woemn sexual thing!!! thanks for sharing!
