20 days Low urges yesterday. Today I worked out and took a cold shower. I notice that my problems of insomnia are related to tha anxiaty. The last saturday I started to manage it in a better way. Keep strong my brothers.
Day 7: Checking in. It's warm, but I am still steadily on the road to Rivendel. Nothing uneventful happened today. all tasks have been accomplished. a small urge to watch porn tried to creep in but as i recalled my feelings of vengeance and disgust against porn, it fled away. But I have this eerie feeling, I cannot underestimate this calmness. By tomorrow I should be in elf territory and nearing the Weather tower. I have stopped again to camp for night fall. See you guys tomorrow. Stay Strong
Day 2 complete! Spontaneous emission today while urinating. That's quite strange, given how short a time it's been since I relapsed, but maybe it was a sort of "leftover" effect. Still clean; hopefully it won't bother me much. Getting to at least a week is crucial for me to start feeling the positive effects of the reboot. I noticed today that it was very hard for me to make eye contact; whenever someone was walking towards me I looked away or down at my feet. That's not the kind of guy I want to be! @Mazda647 Welcome back, and congratulations again on getting married! I would like to ask a favor of you; please be careful about how detailed you are with your descriptions of sex. It's never a bad idea to use spoilers; better safe than sorry. St. Jude, pray for us!
Need to refocus, relapsed due to major amounts of stress and MO'd due to it. Going to be pressing that panic button more often. Day 0 - Hobbit, The Shire
Today is my birthday (31) and I am happy. And while it sounds obvious, in the past 5 years or so, every birthday made me really sad and feeling hopeless. But there is hope. I don't want to pretend to be wise, I'm still addicted to porn, and I still have all of the underlying problems that made me turn to porn in the first place. But even though that last year I managed to get to the point where I can say "I don't want to kill myself". Today I can say that I am happy.
Day 15 - The Elven town of Rivendell greets your arrival. A Council of representants explains the path to Mordor in detail. You´re an Elf now. So I passed the huge urge from Day 13 - 14. I didn't relapsed. What can I say, I need to be more vigilant This is hard mode after. I'm back to Elf again! @Redemptionisrequired I will let it be for now. I just don't get it with the other fellowship brothers about the search bar issue. I have more to say about them but you have a good point on that on having a long streak. Since you replied over here or my complacency then I'm a Son Goku then That's all for now. Here we go. On my way to Mount Doom with the Fellowship to destroy this PMO ring. Keep going Fellowship!
I hate when insomnia happens in that moment. Before this journey, I would have PMO majority of the time when that happened. I guess we need to find alternatives to overcome that even though PMO does help with sleep. I'm glad you overcame including mine as well
Checking in Fellowship Friends! 70 Days Free of PMO. Work was quite stressful yesterday, when I finished my shift I felt wired, stressed and slightly anxious. I mediated for 10 mins and then did yoga nidra for 20 mins, it definitely helped ease me. I'm proud that I didn't give in to the anxiety and eased my mind. The plan for today is meditation, exposure, working out, reading and work. Stay strong! 70 days – Riders bring a gift! “My Lord, here is the Horn of Hondor for your assistance”. The Horn of Gondor is an heirloom of the Stewards of Gondor tipped with silver and inscribed with ancient characters. It´s audible at far ranges and summons reinforcements in times of need. @SSS Vision I'm a sorry to hear this news brother, perhaps, if it is in your means, seeking out a therapist for this situation? I cannot imagine the difficulty. Try your best not to return to PMO as it will not lessen the blow rather it will rob you of your mind in tackling this situation. I know the feeling of overwhelm all too much, as @RiseToGreatness mentioned, try your best to simplify things. I'm sure your mind is currently running a marathon. We are with you in spirit brother! @newbobido Happy birthday! @LLOYYD As others may not understand how you come across a lot of unintended imagery, it is not our place to judge brother. We should cultivate empathy for others. We are here to support one another, share our story and offer advice as we go. We are not here to judge or throw contempt onto another. PMO thrives on that, especially for those who are currently in a bad place and have plenty of judgment in their own mind for themselves. Let us not add to their plate. @Mazda647 Congratulations on your marriage!
As a wise man once said, "FFS, back to day 2". Hope everyone is finding more time to reflect, as well as work, now that nature is entering her dormant phase (in the northern hemisphere).
