Hello, I was on this forum a few years ago, I was active for a few days, then I stopped coming and focused on many things that happened in my life. I occasionnaly watched porn, helped me relieve my frustration, anxiety, anger, and most of all, my boring life made mostly of work I did not enjoy. Today I am 24, and I have been with my girlfriend for almost 5 years. Gradually sex started becoming boring and I introduced her to watch porn while we fuck. I felt that this really destroyed our bond, now we are in an open relationships, we dont fuck anymore, I study in another city and I am always on the move, and she dont like to have sex at night, when I come home. I watch different types of porn. I can't stand myself anymore, it is destroying my energy, my sleep, my focus, my relationships. I am not attracted to my partner anymore. When we fuck I have a hard time cuming while we fuck, I have to stroke otherwises it doesn't work or just focus on porn like fantasies. I can't stand this anymore, it hurts so much sometimes I wish I was dead. Life can be so cool with the right amount of energy and work dedication and I can't stand myself going half assed through this one life I was given. I just want to stop porn, I'm okay masturbating by myself, just no porn, and maybe start having sex with her again. It's been a week now that I've been alone, and I watched porn every day. I want to go on a 90 days no porn.
DAY 1 Yesterday, was the day I decided to change for the better. However, once my girlfriend came back from her trip, the same night, she told me she wanted us to break up. Things happened so fast, but weirdly, I'm feeling fine with it. I feel like I've lost all hope. And this is truly liberating. Since I'm no longer in a relationships, I'll stop posting here. This will be where I keep documenting the rest of my life. https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...f-despair-death-looks-like-a-solution.331416/
I don't know what I am supposed to do with your comment. However I can provide more context to that quote. We actually planned to do a threesome. She told me she would try it with another girl to please me. She wasn't being 100% honest with herself. And I told her we could look at some girls and see if she liked. Turns out she liked it, but only during the sex, afterwards she didn't want to watch some more. So we started watching porn from time to time while we fuck, and once, during holidays I think, she even told me we could watch some and I was the one to accept. Afterwards I told here I didn't like it. But I ended up, a few week later introducing porn again during our sex. I think at first it brought novelty to sex, but made our sex less focused on each other, and made us want to try things out with new people.
Bro ngl this is honestly so messed up! You're out of the Relationship now, Let's focus on Recovery, Self Improvement and sharpening our masculine edge. There's more to Life then sex yk this aswell. Let's be the Best Version of Ourself!!
I'm documenting the process of changing on this thread: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...f-despair-death-looks-like-a-solution.331416/ Since I am not in a relationship now, there is no point commenting here anymore. However I will point out that I dislike having you judge my relationship ( ) and I will ask that you refrain from doing so.
Yeah I feel you. lately I have to watch porn in order to finish with a girl. Before I used to bang a lot of girls so it was fun. New girls always excite me. But as I reduced the number of girls, I started to find out that I needed that "newness" or porn to get off. I knew that bring with new girls was not fulfilling inside. But I kept doing it because I could not find "the one." Now that I have her, I have a hard time with her. What Porn did to me was rewired my mind. When we watch porn, we don't sense the reality of a real girl. In porn, there is no drama, no body smell, the sex organs or manicured to perfection, makeup is perfect, and much much more. So I have decided to stop porn. I knew it will be challenging because I have tried in the past, but in the past I did not have a strong enough reason to quit. But now I do. As far as your relationship goes, I think it's too far gone, damaged beyond repair. You and your gf need to move on and start with new partners. Sometimes it's better to start over than try to fix something that is broken. Best of luck
