Does anyone deal with this, or have this? Do you find yourself losing your shit? I deal with this problem. It just seems to 'happen' and...take off.
Personally, I have noticed a slight increase in my agressiveness, but on the other hand I noticed a huge increase in initiative. Double edge sword.
As I am fighting both PMO addiction but also not swearing or getting upset over minor crap, I've recently discovered an interesting connection between the two, when I always thought of them as separate vices. Basically, the problem with our modern society is that we're so comfort conscious. At the slightest discomfort or inconvenience in life, we have a pill or a gadget or appliance or something to make life easier. We suffer discomfort in face of discomfort. Isn't this why we lose our tempers (?), because we get angry when something goes wrong, something breaks, some bad driver in traffic, not having control over everything? Similarly, isn't this why we dive into addictions like PMO - the self-pleasure and gratification, especially when it is being used to cover over some pain or medicate some inner brokenness? Often folks speak of cold showers, meditation, or some other discipline as a way to combat these addictions - but not just to abate sexual urges, but to learn how to bear and sit with discomfort more comfortably - which enables us toward better self-control in many areas in our lives. Hence, although PMO recovery and temper might have a correlation, it is not because one causes the other, but because both spring up as broken ways to deal with discomfort or pain.
Yes! Very good point... Meditation helps this exact way But i believe that we get angry so easy because we are thinking small. "There's just me in pain", "there's just me with some trouble". We have lost the big picture, we are egocentric... Well, my opinion
I also suffer with depression, and the two go hand in hand. It's practically impossible to describe how I am to somebody - even myself. My mind changes like the weather, exactly like it - actually. So do my thoughts and moods. I just feel as though I can't seem to do anything right. Like my life is one big f up after another, there's a pattern but I can't seem to make sense out of it, and even if I could; what could I do then. I'm faced with that question a lot. I get really into things (over focus/hyper focus) impulsive, and then I realize I was, then move onto some other thing. I realize it makes absolutely no sense/no rhyme or reason . I also sense it's just going from one frantic viewpoint to another, like if in the water grasping and struggling/flailing from one lifeboat to another- without thinking, that it's better somehow to not. But I can't help myself and ego wins out, I do it anyway, and it's really imbalanced, but me thinking and my mind are the best sense I can make out of my life. I feel like I'm on a constant quest but keep ending up shattered and nowhere at square 1. It is a horrible and exasperating feeling - to feel that you are getting nowhere in life, while others just seem to pass you by...and they aren't even trying. I just keep struggling. It very vaguely occurs to me in the recesses of the mind that there's a relationship there - It has all my life, that sitting back and letting things rude out will carry you farther than constantly interjecting your ego - which often than not seems only to mess everything up, somehow. I cuss a lot too. I'm trying not to. I just can't help it, it just comes out often. If there is one thing I do know, even though my viewpoints seem to change, it's that ego is bad; it is the most destructive thing on the planet. Idk why but I do know that's true. It seems to me backwards - of everything we're told in our society; the less attention I put on myself, the more I humble my needs and give to others the more harmony there is. The more I get back in return, naturally and the more respected I am. It's a curious thing.
