The rules that keep me focused. Who spends gold to buy copper? Gold = semen Copper = fleeting pleasure with bad aftertaste Looking at porn is like looking at sun. Why should I damage myself?
Doing well here. Some dirty thoughts about a housemate of mine but otherwise no urges to look at porn. About a week into a breakup and one of the main issues was my admitting to being a porn addict without being 100% open about it. I should have probably pointed her to YBOP so she could get a better idea. Oh well. She could have asked questions but clammed up about it. Anyway it's forcing a little soul-searching on my part, and maybe precipitating a greater desire to quit.
Thanks for adding me to the group. I joined NoFap Jan of 2019. I attempted a reboot then but didn't do so well. I decided I probably needed to get professional counseling considering my family situation. It took me a while but I'm finally seeing a counselor. It has been helping. He has had me working on a self-care plan and this week I started using a habit tracker. So far so good. Hopefully I can keep it up.
Had an interesting thing happen. In the early ours of the day I had a vivid dream - I literally had virtual reality sex with an imaginary girl in my sleep while i was awake, and I won't go to details but it was really funny lol And i had wet dream, a very small amount of leakage. Was tempted to feel sad for releasing seeds - but I remember reading in a book - that the wet dream leakages is very tiny bit compared to a full load release, I also think my body was just adjusting to the new changes pretty well, it happened around day 13 whereas before release was taking place every week or so. On the positive side, there is a new sense of joy arising. Confidence is high. Deepening connection to my self in a deeper way. Practicing non-judgment, non-resistance to challenges and non-attachments. Met a cute girl at a get-together tonight - there was a huge attraction, she facebooks closed me. I felt a little unpeaceful because the excitement and desire to be with her stayed with me for hours after seeing her. In a sense, it seems like its a good thing but I am coming to see that over-excitement over a sexual experience as a negative thing because suffering always follows. Rather I prefer to be so drunk in my own sense of joy from within and let sex be a spontaneous and natural addition to this joy. Overal grateful for having met her, feel the universe is cooperating with me.
Check in 2 weeks on no PMO And other health improvement activities. 1. More motivated on health activities 2. Feel happier 3. Measurable change in my chess rating. Gained 50 points on lichess bullet and blitz. 4. Observing less hair loss while combing I do not know if it's placebo effect or not. Whatever it is, it is working
I had a dream over the weekend that I M'ed to P on my computer, the feeling when I woke was tangible, the guilt, shame and self disgust at blowing 50+ days. I was so glad when I realised it was just a dream. I don't know if it is just my subconscious trying to hold on to something in my brain rebooting, but if I could bottle those feelings I think I may have cure. Other than that a good weekend.
Thank goodness ey. I know the feeling had that with other addictions lol ...Also may be this is giving you a sign to not be so attached to the 50+ days - you can not blow the effort you have made, every effort will go towards making you more self-aware. Too much pressure can actually cause its opposite effect I find being sincere but not too attached to the outcome is the best way for me to remain disciplined. In zen they call this the beginners mind. when we advance in something we tend to become too egoic about how far we have come, and this ego is extra and can cause our down fall. So they say, do all you can and then forget about all you have done and just be a beginner. Don't build too much identity about 50Day+ person. Our job is to take things 1 day at a time. Sure we have a reboot goal and I'm intending to do ti for 365 days - but if i focus too much on the future I am either going to feel depressed cause its too far, or be discouraged once I get there cause I'm setting an expectation in the future.
Thanks - really appreciate your comments. I guess I am getting hung up about numbers, but after so many failed attempts I want so bad to quit this thing for good.
Hey guys! discovery here from the other 35+ group. I just made my own challenge! It's no-porn only. And you get to go all over the world for the next five and half years. Take a look. https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...a-trip-to-every-country-on-the-planet.258688/
Hi Discovery! What a cool idea! Sounds like a fun way to stay motivated. On a similar note, I was wondering if anyone has ideas for adding something new and fun to the daily routine? Based on what I've read, it seems like quitting a negative habit is a great time to start a new, positive habit. I've seen a lot of great posts about exercise routines. Does anyone have other ideas for starting new hobbies? Thanks!
Good thing you're feeling better. I admire your willpower to do all those good things while not feeling well! There is no courage and strength greater than that which overcomes its own impossibilities! God keep blessing you
---> Congratulations and be careful with the bones! ---> ¡Muy buena idea! Te vas a poder comunicar con más de 400 millones de personas que hablan la "lengua de Cervantes".
Congratulations on your 2 weeks!! I don't know about point four , but the rest is genuine one hundred percent!
You are already in the group ranks! We hope that together we can help each other not only to free ourselves from PM but to be much better people!
Relapsing into social media apps and spending inordinate amount of time there equals guaranteed relapse for me, also my former accountibility partner seems to have abandoned me even though I got no clues to why, he does not even answer me on messenger. So the one and only reason to keep this one and only media outlet is to keep in touch with friends that never respond on text messages, seems reasonable to keep it with isolation being a major killer for me in the past and not too long ago..I don't know, it will take alot not to fall in to old patterns hitting random women up there so I have to block all of my female contacts on I think, 100 procent stonewall to go. Hope you guys are doing better then me, I struggle with finding my way in dating apps and social media with porn kind of being the wasteland that lies at the end of this tunnel. I really not wanna go there and fapp several times daily and drain my energy and diminish my self confidence and becoming/remaning a damn beta-simp.