What girls find attractive in guys?

Just curious, or looking for some advice?

 

@MrCharacter

1. Funny because it's always good to have humor. Yet you need to know when to not be funny too.
   
2. Nice because no one likes a jerk, though no one likes a push-over to. So it's more like you're courteous to what I say and do.
3. Listens because sometimes I have to vent about things and I also like to share stories about my life.
4. Respectful, because I don't want a guy treating me like a piece of property and I have opinions like other human beings, so even though you might not agree with my opinion, I'm expecting you to be respectful of it.
   
5. Mysterious. Not like super mysterious, but mysterious enough where I'll be interested in knowing more about you and your life.
6. Accepting me. Now this part probably comes later as you get to know the person, but I want a guy to be able to accept the fact that I'm probably going to wait till marriage to have sex and the fact that I have interests in japanese animes and k-pop. Also that I'm a serious sucker for romances.
   
7. Being honest. No one likes a liar.
8. Becomes(or is) My Best Friend. Usually if you're friends, you're going to be willing to talk more often and care for each other. Also you tell your best friend everything. I would want the guy I like, or my boyfriend, to be my best friend because I wouldn't want to hide anything from him.
9. Gives Me Attention. I don't want to be ignored and I doubt you want to be ignored.
   
10. Looks, but not really. Personality usually dominates than looks. I think it's more about who you are in the inside than the outside, because I'm met a lot of handsome guys with ugly personalities. (I'm not going to lie, usually girls check out attractive guys and will probably go after them, but if I were to see an attractive guy but a guy that was super funny and making me laugh, I would go after the funny guy.)
    
    Why are you asking this?
    Also if anything I said is confusing, just ask, and I'll try to clarify!

 

Oh, I understand. But every girl is different and might not have the same requirements as me. Don'tbe too harsh on yourself because you should never change yourself (unless it's for the better) just because a girl you like, likes a certain type of guy. No one likes false people either. So your best shot is to be yourself and get out there and talk to people.

Since I answered yours, what are some qualities you look for in a girl? (Now I'm just wondering).

 

Ah, and it's that that's the damn clincher!

 

I'm confused by your question. Are you trying to ask if girls friend guys who keep to themselves more interesting? And what do you mean by keep to themselves?

Also I used to have the same problem, and I still do sometimes. The problem of trying so hard to get a boyfriend (for you a girlfriend). The only think I can say is if you try too hard you might not find anyone or the right person. You shouldn't have to try so hard for love. You should definitely try, but you also need to know when to stop. If you're obsessing over it and you're not anywhere near a relationship that close, you should probably take a step back and just try being friends with the person first. Relationships take time. I would love to get past all the slow stuff of getting to know a person and figuring out if they're the right one, but that's not how life is. It takes time to develop something special with a person.

Also do not rush into things! I almost got a boyfriend but I rushed into it and found out he wasn't my type. Someone might appear to be your ideal person but might not end up being that.

 

I guess what I mean by mysterious is that you don't dump all your dark secrets (or what you consider dark) on them all at once. For example, a guy I almost dated told me everything that was wrong with him, because he felt like I should know his faults right away, but that kind of turned me off. Mostly because his faults were kind of weird... but I didn't like the fact that he dumped everything on me at once, because it was major things. Girls definitely want you to pursue them, but take caution with it. There was a guy that pursued me once, but I always felt pressured because he kept being persistent with things I kept rejecting. Think of the girl as your friend. Even though you find her attractive, when you're first getting to know here, try to take things slowly. It should never feel forceful when you're pursuing someone. Just think of it as trying to hang out with a friend.

Also every girl is different. Some girls like going fast, others like going slow. I personally like to take things slow, because I've tried to go fast several times and I just crash and burn. Going fast just doesn't suit me. Also if you take things slowly you get to know someone on a personal level.

 

I don't have a kik, but I do PM people on here. But I'm waiting until I go to college to start messaging people in a easier way. The reason why I don't do it now is because I don't want my parents to find out and I don't feel comfortable messaging people about these kind of topics if they're around.

Basically, just start a PM with me on here and I'll get back to you when I can!

 

I'd agree with SecretsRevealed's list of standards. The only things I would change/add are looks and confidence. Looks are important because how you take care of yourself shows how well you'll take care of someone else. Confidence is the biggest factor of all though, women love it when a guy is upfront and honest about his intentions and who won't cave in an argument simply because he's afraid. Also, looks and confidence go hand-in-hand because the more confident you are in your looks, the more attractive other people will find you.

 

This just isn't true. I take very little care of myself, but I would absolutely take care of someone else. Just saying.

 

It's a fact. Along with other important qualities like honesty and a sense of humor, any woman would view their dream man as someone who is smart, physically fit, emotionally stable, financially stable, hygienic, and who is able to do things like cook and maintain a clean living space. Almost all of the things in that list require you to take care of yourself and can very much influence how well you are able to take care of someone else.

Now, I got a bit off topic from looks. Attraction to looks, in my opinion, is a very basic and primal attraction which is still very influential in modern day. When you watched porn, how often did you watch videos that included attractive men and women? I'm willing to bet that it was pretty often. This attraction reaches back to when you couldn't take care of someone with money or how "cuddly" you were, when the only other thing that you had to offer besides emotional support was physical support, and the immediate gauge on how physically supportive you'll be is your looks. I'm not saying that people need you to look like Ryan Gosling or Sophia Vergara (although I'm sure it wouldn't hurt), but having a certain level of physical health is very important.

 

These are the things that I find attractive when it comes to women:

1. Attitude: Confidence is one of the sexiest things that a woman can possess. The tricky part is that it has to be genuine confidence, not just a front. Also, all men love women who treat them positively. Harmless flirting about how rude I am or how dumb I can be is great because I'll send it right back at you, but constantly being rude and putting me down is something I don't put up with.
2. Humor: Women who have a good, witty sense of humor are fun to be around and are usually less likely to be easily offended.
3. Honesty: Who doesn't like honesty?
4. Upfront: I'm the kind of person that needs an instruction manual when it comes to dealing with other people. I consider myself a very entertaining person who is good at talking to people and making friends in a social setting, but I also have a very hard time picking up hints that aren't blatantly obvious. Being upfront about your problems and emotions is super important to me, because otherwise I won't get it. Just make sure you're calm about it.
5. Looks: Let's face it, we're all human and we all like someone who looks good. But, the biggest part of that is physical healthiness; working out is a big part of my life so I appreciate someone who takes good care of themselves.
6. Risk: I'm not talking about going out and robbing a bank or jumping the Grand Canyon on a motorcycle, but risk taking is very attractive in women. Step out of your comfort zone.
7. Take Care of Yourself: I'm a great cook and more than happy to help you out with things, but adults ought to be able to fend for themselves.
8. Don't Be Jealous: I'm not going to watch your every move and try to restrict who you hang out with or put down your friends, so don't do that to me.

 

women often can't tell the difference between "confidence" and desperation, I have seen far too often women go out with men that were far lower than them (at least to me), so my advice is to simply ask out as many decent girls as you can.

I suppose its also possible that guys who are confident are more likely to approach women, so maybe its a little bit of both. My point is that what women will tell you they want is not what they really go after, I have seen complete studs go without and losers (again, to me) find good women. I almost want to say that women have less self esteem than men so they go out with men at a lower level than them, but that's just speculation as with everything I've said here.

 

Oh boy! Ok, so I'm not going to give you a list of ten things you should do/be. I'm going to give you one.

1. Be yourself, live your life, enjoy your friends and loved ones, have fun, have hobbies, and stop thinking about finding a lady.

Ok, so I realize that's more than one thing, but you see what I mean.

This is how I was for a long time, only with boys, and my life changed so much when I finally just said "you know what? If someone likes me, that's great, but if not, that's fine too and I'm fine with being on my own right now." I can tell you, the few years of singleness that came right before my marriage were seriously some of the best years of my life. I love my husband and I was always so excited to find him, but looking back, I actually wish I had more time on my own. More time to explore who I am and just enjoy the freedom of being single.

The absolute most important thing when looking for a relationship is to be completely, whole heartedly, 100% yourself. Don't hold back, just be you. Because if you change yourself to find a great girl, or hide parts of yourself because you're afraid she won't like them, then the girl you find won't be the right one. Not to mention the fact that you can't keep that up forever, on a daily basis, living in the close proximity of marriage (assuming that's your ultimate goal).

My man is like a freakin weirdo. He seriously walks around the house singing Christmas songs and replacing every other word with the word "cat," and he does this on his own, without any expectation of response from me. But I love it! I think he's hilarious and silly. I get his stupid made up songs stuck in my head for hours, and it makes me smile. I've never met anyone like him and I can't imagine my life with someone who isn't so silly and fun. But some girls may not have liked that, and if he tried to hide it when he met me because he thought I might think he was weird, then I probably never would have dated him, because a "cool, collected guy" isn't what I was looking for. He would have missed out on our marriage, and not sound arrogant, but I think he'd be pretty sad about that.

So seriously, please please be your wonderful self! You were made that way for a reason, and you're perfect just as you are. If you just enjoy your life and be yourself, eventually someone will start to notice that who you are is who they've been looking for, and they'll love your little quirks. It will come naturally, and trust me, as I've tried this method way too many times, forcing things never works.

Also, never underestimate the value of female friendships. I've always been a huge dork around guys I like, and I've met some really amazing men while I've been in relationships, because the pressure is gone. I'm "taken," so there's nothing to be nervous about. Try to look at it that way and just be friends with all the girls and boys you want! Haha something will happen eventually, and it's so worth waiting for.

 

To comment on the whole "elusive mysterious type." Yes, in general, myself included, many women find that attractive. However, that's not relationship material. That might "get" you a girl, but it won't keep her around. And if it will... Well, I would wonder if she's really into YOU or not, because she doesn't know you. What happens 5 years down the road when she finds out some new thing about you that she hates?

I would say, in a relationship, women want to be pursued and they want men to be direct. If you like someone and have been talking to them and decide you might want to date them, ask them out on a freaking date! Seriously, a man being direct about his feelings is important. I think it's also a "turn on" in a way, for most women, but more importantly, it's just a good thing to do and I think it makes you a good, confident, classy man, rather than acting aloof and making them chase you.

Women are all different, but I think at least to some degree, every woman wants to feel special, set apart, and pursued, and being the "mysterious bad boy" isn't going to get you a good, solid, lasting relationship. So if that's what you're looking for, which it sounds like it is, then I would say, as I said above, be yourself first, but also be direct and don't be afraid to show a woman that you are interested in her. You risk a bit of rejection, but you're not going to find love any other way, so I think it's worth it.

 

That's definitely better than the other way round.