Zero to Hero (Hardmode)

Why hello there, success candidates!
my first time to join this kind of web
my first time to join this forum topic
but it's not my first time to stop my PMO behaviour (my best score only 1 week, thrice)
Its been three years. PMO everyday (7-15 a week).

story:
four years ago (im 19 now) I had good friends. good grades at school, good crush, two good-est friend, and good family. I had good life.

Until my one best friend was died, Until I knew my father had affair with other girl which is made me feel not in home (broken home), Until I got cheated by my other best friend to date with my good crush (so much memories i had with her), And my grades at school was going bad. sadness.

I was searching the new happines. and my happiness was PMO. until now.

the effect of PMO:
pros: feel ecstacy for a while
cons: social anxiety, depression, feel guilty, uncontroled emotion, suffer from perfetionism, suffer from pro

feels lonely, fear to failed to have good grades, the girls is my object to trigger PMO, fear to make friends ( because of being cheated), and have screwed family.

i feel like a small shit in this immense universe.

But now, I have positive feelings to change from ZERO TO HERO because i know its not just me to have this addict. I had read the threads who success to escape from darkest place. LET'S MEN UP!

sorry for my bad english LOL, let's be supportive

 

nice advise. much obliged, bro