YoungMeditator's Journal

Discussion in 'Under 20' started by YoungMeditator, Jan 11, 2019.

  1. YoungMeditator

    YoungMeditator Fapstronaut

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    Hello, friends! This is just going to be my own journal to document my feelings and happenings during my journey of life and NoFap.


    I am beginning this on day 3, almost to day 4 officially, from the start of my journey.
    The urges I have were very noticeable at first, but I was/am able to put them aside. I am constantly trying to work on my mind and taming my thoughts.
    Already, I can feel that time has slowed down immensely, which is good, as it leaves more time for productivity, which I definitely need to take advantage of occurring.

    I have a lot of free time as of recently, as I have lost my job not too long ago. I let my anger get the best of me when the boss was trying to take advantage and overwork me, which is what made me realize I needed a change in life. Since then, I've been looking at myself and my behaviors, and have been realizing what I've been needing to change.

    This has given me more time to further practice and refine my writing skills, as that's something I truly enjoy. I have been getting back into meditation and reflection. I realized I have spent far too much time wasting away and playing games when I could be furthering my productivity levels. Soon enough I will get back into going to the gym, as sitting around at home can drive anyone insane.

    But for now, I have been reassessing my values, spiritual beliefs, and goals out of life. My journey on this Earth hasn't been too great thus far, but at least I'm going my own path, slow as it might be right now.
     
  2. YoungMeditator

    YoungMeditator Fapstronaut

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    I'm now on day 4, and I have begun working fully on changing myself for the better. The train's going at 100% speed now!

    Even daily things that I've been failing to do before, like taking care of the house, I have forced myself to do and get over with. Last night I spent 45 minutes in meditation, which I'm trying to set aside an hour every day for. I have come up with a "list" of things to accomplish, whether they be daily tasks or long-term goals.
    An unforeseen thing has occurred, however, in that I'm suddenly remembering the "good" times in life, and have that sort of nostalgic feeling. I'm assuming it's because back then, I was very innocent. I didn't have such addictions that I'm getting over today. Yet it is nice to have that feeling; it makes me feel as though I'm truly entering a new "era" of my life's time, and one that was needed. Things can only get better from here.
     
  3. YoungMeditator

    YoungMeditator Fapstronaut

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    It is day 5. The urges tried to sway me over to giving in, but I was able to reject some of the thoughts outright. I know with further meditation and patience, I can gain greater control of my mind and thoughts, along with urges. Meditation is working wonders for me so far, matched with self-reflection, which give me a greater insight into life. I will update on the morrow.
     
  4. Mysteryball

    Mysteryball Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Great to see you here ... I'm also 15 and do meditation ....
    I started meditation soon after i joined in here.
    I think its very relaxing and peaceful and brings back awareness....
    I try to be consistent but fail ... I don't know why i'm not able to get just 5-10 min out of my day.

    By the way, YOu are doing great on 5 days ... Keep going.......:)
    cheers !
     
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  5. YoungMeditator

    YoungMeditator Fapstronaut

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    Yes, meditation is an incredibly useful tool. The more we get used to it, the easier it becomes. It's been so helpful in all aspects of life, that I look forward to it every day. On days where I can't seem to get much time to do it, I always do it right before going to sleep, even if I have to move out of my bedroom (it is shared).


    Now I've arrived at day 6. The urges were somewhat strong yesterday, but I kept rejecting the notion of giving in. I refuse to give in. Today I've been busy, spending time with family, so perhaps that's why I haven't had any urges to notice or reject. It's amazing to think of how much time I was wasting on PMO, as I seem to have so much time to spare nowadays.
     
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  6. YoungMeditator

    YoungMeditator Fapstronaut

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    I've now hit day 7. For the past couple of nights, I've been having epiphanies about how much time I've wasted in life thus far. Though I know I'm young, there's much I hope to accomplish in my life's time. Procrastination has been my biggest enemy, and I used PMO as a time-waster. No more, I say. I must achieve good things with my life.
     
  7. Mysteryball

    Mysteryball Fapstronaut

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    COngrats dude
     
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  8. YoungMeditator

    YoungMeditator Fapstronaut

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    Day 8. Today I woke up very earlier than usual and must have had not much of a hard time sleeping like I usually do. All day I've felt energized and have accomplished a few things immediately. I'm finding my drive for what I once loved is returning, like my studying of Japanese and learning about history. I spent nearly two hours on those things and wished to continue, but instead did daily household chores that I usually procrastinate on.

    I'm also feeling somewhat more spiritual and beginning to feel like I might actually be able to believe in something. Though I am weary of being committed to saying that, I thought it's an interesting thing to note. Most of my life I've been an atheist, but now those feelings of disbelief are seemingly on shakier grounds than before. Perhaps it's because I'm more in touch with myself, I don't know. Either way, I welcome change, as all change is inevitable.
     
  9. YoungMeditator

    YoungMeditator Fapstronaut

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    I'm now 9 days in. Last night was a bit rough and it seemed like it would've been easy just to give in to PMO, but I refrained. I realized it would've brought only more suffering on my end, with no good coming from it. I believe that if I can get through these urges and desires without submitting now, later down the road it'll be easier for me to reject them outright. Yesterday as a whole, though, I was productive. I studied, did some work, and am finishing up changing the flow of the household. Much better energy around me now, with positivity all around.
     
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  10. SELF-LOVE

    SELF-LOVE Fapstronaut

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    you are doing great , keep going. btw what type of meditation you do ..zen or vipasana or something else?
     
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  11. YoungMeditator

    YoungMeditator Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, friend. That's a good question; I mainly focus on mindfulness meditation sessions, either in the morning while I am alone or before I go to bed, whilst everyone is asleep. I also do mantra meditation sessions every few weeks to see if I prefer it any more than I previously had, but I always seem to naturally go to the mindfulness meditations.
     
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  12. SELF-LOVE

    SELF-LOVE Fapstronaut

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    wow great! keep it up.
     
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  13. YoungMeditator

    YoungMeditator Fapstronaut

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    Day 10. I did not give into M last night, but was struck with a sharp feeling of loneliness, recalling past memories. Unfortunately, I did not follow my own advice until today and got myself out of it with some deep reflection and a small session of meditation. Can't change what's been done, and there's no going back in time. If I want to be truly happy and free, I must let it all go. I must be at peace with my current life, and not let the other demons of life drag me down with them.
     

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