You cannot give, what you do not have. . .

Hi Everyone, very happy to meet you. I'm a 40 year old male, and I've been using pornography since I was 12; almost 28 years. Having written that sentence, I now realize 28 years is a very long time.

I was introduced to porn through my friends in grade school. One spring afternoon, we smuggled a movie from a friends house; it belonged to his dad. We went to another friends house and watched it.

I had a some sex education at this point in my life but I had never seen the act performed. I remember feeling both repulsed and shocked, but at the same time I couldn't turn my head or close my eyes; I was mesmerized.

I wasn't old enough to buy porn, it wasn't kept in the house, and we didn't have the internet at the time, so I resorted to the what was on hand: the Sears catalog, Spielgel Catalog, and of course Victoria's Secret.

Then the internet was installed in our house and all the doors were opened and boundaries dropped. At this point using porn or racy material to masturbate had become a normal part of my routine: getup, go to school, look and think/fantasize about girls, go to practice, look and think/fantasize about girls, come home, masturbate. Study, homework, think/fantasize about girls, masturbate, go to bed. Rinse and repeat.

Pornography has totally changed and distorted the way I view women; and with today's women's fashions and our over sexualized culture we live in today, it's so hard not to. I am constantly looking at other women as sex objects first and people last, "Whoa, she's hot," or, "she's gorgeous," or, "OMG look at her ass in those pants."

I am ashamed of myself. I've decided to quit using porn because I am ashamed of myself and I don't want my son to fall into the same trap I've fallen into. However, there is an old Latin proverb, Nemo dat quod non habet - which means, You cannot give what you do not have. How can I teach my son how to have a healthy view and relationships with women if I do not? So I have to start over again for myself.

Therefore, I started a 1 month no porn and no masturbation challenge. I've opted out of no orgasm because I still have duties as a husband to fulfill. I stated the challenge yesterday. My plan its to channel the excess energy and stress into exercising and creating healthy rewards for myself by treating myself to something I want at the end of each week.

Thanks in advance for your support.

 

First of all, I'd like to wish you luck with kicking this habit for good.

It's going to be a journey, and it will put your willpower to the test. There will be good days, and there will be bad days. Just always remember that you're doing this to better yourself, and to end this objectification of women that we all know is wrong.

If nothing else, remember that every single day that you spend without porn and masturbation is a step in the right direction.

Congratulations on joining the NoFap community, and taking steps to make yourself a better person!