You are not an addict

That's right. Read it again. You are not an addict. End this habit, that is all it is: a bad habit that we can kick. Nothing holds us down without our hands on the rope. LET GO.

I no longer believe that we are addicts struggling to get by. We ended up just being bored, undisciplined, privileged, purposeless lost souls who lacked the bigger picture. WAKE UP. You are not addicted anymore.

I know I am not an addict. I don't crave porn and I don't have urges anymore. I see the larger perspective now and I have shit to do. I am too damn busy to worry about what the instinctive mind wants. All urges can be broken down into instinctivness just like hunger or thirst. Your body is meant to mate and gather food. This lifestyle of getting everything grown or hunted, packaged and shipped to your door is causing the instinctive mind to go soft and only trigger on the easy and available things it can find: the desire to mate. Seeing as technology has made the act of seeing other people mate has confused your brain into thinking that it is actually mating and you become a numb ghost as you sit and watch.

The instinct keeps us alive. It is the part of the mind that says when to eat food and when to drink water. It pushes protein to the muscles and it tenses your stomach when it feels threatened. Hone in your skills at observing that part of the mind and you can see the urge to masturbate coming a mile away.

Changing your life means adjusting your routine so that the mind is occupied. Give the mind its right to play in areas that positively impact your life. Let it guide you in creating, keeping healthy, staying alive and finding someone to share your life with.

Hone in on the intellect and let it help you learn. Let it guide you into new areas of thinking and self-reflection. Come up with better ways to live and think outside the box.

We don't just try to avoid porn. We dive into the root of the cause and we dig like hell out of this mud pit that we fell into. This isn't about staying away from technology. Tech is here to stay so get used to it. BUT, don't let it run your life. We need balance. We need to be aware of the different areas of the mind and give them the respect they deserve, but don't give them the keys to the castle.

Living properly means:

• Adjusting your diet according to your lifestyle.
  
• Making sure you have fun and don't work so hard you get stressed.
  
• Use this body and let it play in a gym.
  
• Open a book and let the thinking part of the mind roam into the great halls of invention and imagination.
  
• Meet someone who you can share all this with and raise some good kids who will make you proud.
  

Don't eat to feed the tongue. Don't watch to entertain the lust. Don't sit for hours on end to waste away. Make something of yourself by using the tools you were born with, don't run from them.

 

Right on! Words are powerful. If we choose to define ourselves as addicts then we will stay addicts as long as we do so. As you think, so shall you become. I try to tell myself every day that I am free and that I am well.

 

Thats wise words and i totally relate @SolidStance.

 

Anyone who has ever worked with hypnosis, affirmations, or any of the plethora of ways in which we can change our thoughts and feelings about things via manipulating our subconscious will know the power of the language we use to describe ourselves. It still makes me cringe a little when I hear how NA and AA make people who've long since quit their habits still introduce themselves as addicts or alcoholics respectively - the way you describe yourself really affects your self image, which then goes on to affect your thoughts and actions.

The truth is, some people here may have come here as "addicts", and some people here were perhaps here for other reasons - but it really does us no favours to continue describing ourselves as addicts, regardless. Sure, acknowledge the problem, take responsibility for how bad the problem may have been for you, if that was the case, but realise immediately that you no longer need to hold onto this image, and going forward, you're working on the new you. Whether you used to use/still use the term addict for yourself or not, there's no reason to stick with it. Stop identifying with the person you no longer want to be, start identifying with your future self who has already overcome this.

We are much like rats in a lab who have been conditioned to go after a particular pellet because of the dopamine fix contained within, our evolutionary reward circuits telling us that this must be necessary for survival. Unlike those rats, we've been blessed with reason, and so rather than being stuck playing with that lever forever, we've been given the chance to step back, assess the situation, and see the bigger picture. The moment you have even recognised the problem, and made the conscious decision to fix it, you are already that new you - the only thing left to do is to get rid of all those reward circuits telling you otherwise. That'll take time, patience, and hard work, but after you've made the decision to make it happen, it is inevitable.

 

Even if we use the word "addiction" it's important to make a distinction between how we use it. Like for example "I am" vs "I have". I AM not an addict. I HAVE an addiction maybe, just for a sake of example. But I am not my addiction, it does not define me. I am just me with this thing that I have, but we are separate and I am not it. Or maybe I have a lot of fat. But I am NOT fat.

 

Well Said!

 

I'm not Buzz but I'll offer my 2c on this.

I used to be addicted to IV opiates. I'd spend all day with a syringe in my arm. It pretty much became my life. I was surrounded by other helpless addicts and I really didn't see a way out. Every time I tried to quit, my desire to get clean was outweighed by how good the feeling of the drug felt, and I simply relapses. It was an endless cycle for a year of me saying "I'm going to quit" and then immediately relapsing after 2-3 days, over and over. I saw this happening to friends and others I spoke to online etc, and I just admitted defeat, deciding that "Once an addict, always an addict" was true, and I'd never escape who I was.

At the beginning of last year, after a series of unpleasant events involving my stupidity with drugs that almost got me killed, I decided enough was enough. I got off the IV immediately, and switched to the stuff that's in Suboxone temporarily since I wasn't ready to face withdrawals yet. This time though, something had changed. I was no longer trying to run away from my addiction, this time I had something to run forwards to instead. I'd taken up spiritual practice again, and wanted to be meditating and working on myself spiritually every day. I knew from my own experience that I couldn't do that while high. So I tapered down the Suboxone, until I was off that too.

Soon I'd also quit cigarettes, and every other drug (aside from alcohol, which I still occasionally indulge in since it never caused me any problems). My desire for opiates and other drugs, was replaced by a desire for spiritual progress. I've had the opportunities to take free drugs - and it simply doesn't interest me any more, I wouldn't do them now even if I was paid to. Just over a year ago if you'd told me I'd be saying that, I'd have laughed in your face and said "I'll never say that in my life", but people do change.

The key however, was changing what I wanted. If you try to quit, while you still want to use, it's just a waiting game until you relapse. You have to change that want, to no longer want that thing, and to love and want something better and healthier instead. Doing that makes the difference, and can transform an addict into someone healthy.