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Nein · Dec 20, 2014

So I'm a 25 year old male and I'm pretty sure I have ED. I am still a virgin, and it's not from lack of opportunity (although I dont get as many as I would like). I've never been able to get an erection with a woman. No, I am not gay. My last sexual encounter was a complete failure, and the girl was so offended that she wanted to leave. I drank half a bottle of vodka out of nervousness and was pretty fucked up, but I'm not convinced that is the real issue. I'm addicted to porn. I've been addicted for 9 years. Twice a day if I have to go to work the next day, on my days off I'm usually in the 5+ range.

I've looked back on my life and noticed how girls treat me before and after I fail miserably at sex. It's night and day. I guess I've been in denial that it's actually "that", that maybe I was boring or not cool enough or whatever. But if that was the case I wouldn't have gotten as far as I did. I can't go on like this. My personality is very dry, I don't like to do many things, I'm in the military so I don't see medication as an option. I have to do something.

I bought a Yoga mat and downloaded some courses on it, I've been curious about it for a while. As well as some general meditation. I might get back into Taoism. I lack the self-esteem to go into a gym, but I would like to gain some weight. Right now my motivation is to change so that I can actually keep a girl around next time... presently I'm thinking about this last one specifically but I know that will more than likely change.

Lastly, I'm a very loyal and supportive person, so I will try my best to keep you all motivated regardless of what happens with me. I really need the support as well so please help me! The longest I think Ive ever gone is a week.

nomorefapman · Dec 20, 2014

Something that helped me for NoFap AND (maybe unrelated) my final exams is to not dwell on the past. The only thing you should be taking from your past is learning from your mistakes and not repeating them next time. It's pretty cliché, but there's a reason why it's such common advice, because it's pretty much always true.

My personal experience last week:

I had 7 days to study for my final exams, and I didn't use them

I had only 3 more days to study. If I had been my old self and put myself down for not studying those 7 days, I would've just continued dicking around with my remaining 3 days (which would be incredibly illogical, but I think most of us can relate to this)

no, I reasoned to myself: "I can't do anything about those last 7 days, but I can still do something NOW" -- I freaking studied my ass off those 3 days and did the best I could on my exams

was doing my best worth it? definitely yes.

was it worth cramming in those 3 days? definitely no, but I will try my best not to do it next time.

From this, I took my own advice and I wasn't hard on myself for making a mistake, but focused on the present.

Also, you are taking some great steps to personal improvement! Definitely try out Yoga and see if it works for you; also, any type of meditation would be awesome! If you lack the self-esteem to into a gym, might I suggest going in the early morning when it opens? There is hardly anyone in the gym, you gain a lot of confidence for the rest of the day (and the day after!) plus a cold shower after... just brilliant.

dcchristopher · Dec 20, 2014

You can do this man! Your spot on with the porn and ED. Your mind is becoming wired to only stimulate to 'pornstars' which are fantasy, and real women just can't compete. Your still young man so take this serious and begin to kick this thing. Blessings!

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