Work Dilemma...

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by VirginNymphomanic, Sep 15, 2018.

  1. VirginNymphomanic

    VirginNymphomanic Fapstronaut

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    Hi people, I'm on day 12 of my NoFap journey and well another trial has appeared, I recently started a new job and there's someone super attractive to me at work, so I find it very hard to concentrate but I wouldn't really have a problem if he was more distant and professional, however he's taken a liking to me, he's always sitting next to me, hugging me even though I don't hug men for religious reasons, and also because I avoid male touch since my childhood experience, but yeah he does whatever he can to spend time with me at work and is flirtatious and it's really hard because I'm constantly aroused around him. What should I do? It might be another trigger for my PMO, so I'm worried. Last time I broke my streak because of someone and now I'm afraid it might happen again.
     
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  2. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

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    Politely pull away when he hugs you. It is not appropriate in the modern workplace. Push away gently from his chest and say 'no'. Apologise if it makes it easier for you.
     
  3. VirginNymphomanic

    VirginNymphomanic Fapstronaut

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    Yeah it really isn't, I think I need to use some force to stop him because he doesn't listen to my words
     
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  4. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

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    You can also report him to management. Perhaps difficult as you also like him. It is better if work and fun are separate..
     
  5. The Black Dog

    The Black Dog Fapstronaut

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    Not sure where you are located, but this hugging and touching thing would be not tolerated in my work place. If he doesn’t listen to your words you should have an avenue to remedy the situation through your supervisor and Human Resources. If they don’t immediately intervene you are working for the wrong company.

    If one of my employees approached me with this problem I would be bound to take swift action or else I would be looking for a new job in short order.
     
  6. VirginNymphomanic

    VirginNymphomanic Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I really want it to be separate!!!
     
  7. VirginNymphomanic

    VirginNymphomanic Fapstronaut

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    I'm in the UK and thank you! The work environment is pretty casual so people hug each other a lot but he shows special attention to me, even at one point he saw a crumb on my lips and tried to remove it, I backed away but yeah I texted him now to tell him I don't find it acceptable, and if he doesn't listen I'll have to take it higher.
     
  8. The Black Dog

    The Black Dog Fapstronaut

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    Good for you. He sounds controlling and this is just the start of it.
     
  9. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

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    Definitely noticed the horny guys at my last job. Three around a girl's table to 'help out'; any excuse for a hug. The UK has great paths to sort this kind of thing out, but your initial informal move is a nice step.
     
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  10. VirginNymphomanic

    VirginNymphomanic Fapstronaut

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    I'd say he probably thought I was playing hard to get when I said I don't hug random guys, he took it as a challenge because he said I'm gonna be the exception , but yeah thank you for giving me good advice!
     
  11. VirginNymphomanic

    VirginNymphomanic Fapstronaut

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    Yeah it made me feel better to actually tell him, that I don't appreciate it and I rather not create a scene at work!!! He replied back saying he understood, so I hope that's it's sorted now. But yeah UK definitely has a great system in place for harrassment but I would just rather the issue get solved now before it escalates to that
     
  12. The Black Dog

    The Black Dog Fapstronaut

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    Now that you gave him a firm message, make sure you don’t send him any mixed signals by what you say to him or how you act at work. Men, sadly, aren’t terribly bright in this area and he will be anxious to resume his pursuit of you.
     
  13. VirginNymphomanic

    VirginNymphomanic Fapstronaut

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    What would you consider mixed messages? Would I have to ignore him to make him understand? He's in my team so I will have to work with him, so I must be friendly to a certain extent. In general I try to be sociable and respectful but I don't touch people when I communicate and I naturally maintain a distance when I speak to people.
     
  14. The Black Dog

    The Black Dog Fapstronaut

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    I suggest you keep the conversation professional. Don’t get into socialization by sharing personal stuff like what you did this weekend. Keep it all about work with and around this guy. For some men, someone simply being a women is a mixed message. Can’t help you there. :)
     
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  15. VirginNymphomanic

    VirginNymphomanic Fapstronaut

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    Ok so having casual conversations would give him the wrong idea, I'll keep it strictly professional!
     
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  16. EmmyB

    EmmyB Fapstronaut

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    You like him, why not hug the guy and enjoy the flirting? You can't take temptation out of your life, you need to learn not to act on it is all. You could date him even, maybe one day have karezza (orgasm-free sex) with him.
     
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  17. VirginNymphomanic

    VirginNymphomanic Fapstronaut

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    Yeah temptation is a constant in my life, but yes while I do like him, I'm waiting until marriage, and I don't think he's looking for something serious so that's why I won't entertain it or try to offer an alternative to him. Plus a kareeza would be torture!!!! Anyway I really don't appreciate his flirtatious behaviour at work, it's embarrassing.
     
  18. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    You're doing the right thing by staying true to your values. It's tough but so worth it!
     
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  19. VirginNymphomanic

    VirginNymphomanic Fapstronaut

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    Thank you!!!! It is so hard but I feel so good inside, I feel proud of myself!!! I really believe that I want to have sex with someone who wants to spend the rest of his life with me
     
  20. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    I feel the same way :)
     
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