Will it get better?!?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Grendel, Jul 3, 2014.

  1. Grendel

    Grendel Fapstronaut

    25
    0
    1
    Hi, I'm 17 years old, been trying to cut porn and masturbation since February, with a variety of streak lengths. My highest streak so far was 25 days and for my latest attempts, I have relapsed solely to masturbation, not porn, which I'd like to think is some mild progress.

    I'm at day 17 of my current streak, struggling to see how life will improve: I have serious social anxiety - avoid going out, crumble in most conversations, very paranoid. I've been making an effort to go out more, though it's a real mental stress, hate my appearance, my voice and my inability to simply THINK CLEARLY.

    I've felt like this for a few years but recently, I fell into a depression that I'm struggling to pull myself out of. I went for a blood test recently to see what might be up, and even after having a very poor sleep routine and this addiction for most of my teenage years, it appears nothing is up, which is very frustrating!

    So really, I feel like nothing is going to get better as I haven't experienced any benefits. I didn't quit for them, I did it to sort out my life but I'd really be able to recover with the help of some of them like a deeper/fuller voice + better range (I'm a musician/singer), no brain fog, reduced social anxiety, more energy, more creativity and plenty benefits others have had.

    To cut my essay short, has anybody been in the position of having many streaks over a few months with no perceived benefits until quite late on into their last streak?

    Many people seem to suggest that benefits like a deeper voice or less anxiety occur at 2 weeks or earlier. I know it's all individual but I fear not having anything to look forward to in life anymore. I'm just not happy in any area.

    Please let me know your experiences, I fear relapse from my low mood!
     
  2. 215

    215 Fapstronaut

    76
    0
    0
    Live wont get better from the absence of pmo but from the thing you fill that hole up.
     
  3. Ghost.

    Ghost. Fapstronaut

    68
    3
    6
    It actually does get better from the absence of PMO alone. I realized that after just relapsing. You have a different presence when on no PMO. A different mind-set.
     
    oukhali99 likes this.
  4. Grendel

    Grendel Fapstronaut

    25
    0
    1
    Some days, I would agree. I do have days where I think I will be able to pull through and become a better person. But it's days like today where I feel like a wreck, no energy to improve on any level...
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2014
  5. Grendel

    Grendel Fapstronaut

    25
    0
    1
    Plus, I started going to the gym, eating healthier, arranging to meet friends and eventually look at getting a job where I can interact with people to reduce my anxiety. Shouldn't some of that be helping with my recovery?
     
  6. Ada

    Ada Fapstronaut

    93
    3
    8
    Although the time is different for everyone, I believe one thing holds true. Abstaining from PMO any allows you to be more outgoing, calm, Ect. It does not MAKE you that. You have to make yourself that. It's like crossing a bridge: with PMO in the way, you can't make it across to the benefits, but when PMO is gone, you still have to cross the bridge yourself.
     
  7. Shade of Past

    Shade of Past New Fapstronaut

    4
    0
    0
    Boy, i just accidentally ran into this forum and topic, and had to create an account as soon as i read this.

    Hi there. I'm 17 too and I can notice a lot of similarity between you and me. Basically everything I quoted. My life is kinda going downhill, i waste my time and life, i keep on thinking about everything in weird ways, tl;dr: I don't know how to live my life.

    I was addicted to PMO for about 5 years i think. I tried to stop once, my streak was a month long. I failed. A video on YouTube got me so horny i MO'd later on. This led me to going back to PMO. I hated myself for that, but didn't stop until recently. Day 4 today, the struggle is real. But one thing holds me from going back: during the last of these 30 days I felt MUCH better than what I'm suffering right now. F**king social anxiety, f**king thoughts that won't stop coming to my mind, feeling inferior to everyone and everything, fear of 'what they will think of me', even strangers. Damn it. Maybe i should go to a psychiatrist..

    I don't even know why I'm writing this. I just had to do it. Maybe this will help you, maybe not.. Don't give up. Don't stop, man. I'm sure it WILL get better.
     
  8. adamejay

    adamejay New Fapstronaut

    3
    0
    0
    Don't worry, it will get better!

    Abstaining does different things for different people. The so-called 'superpowers' you hear of could transpire to confidence, increased energy or even motivation. It depends on your outlook.

    NoFap works well when you combine it with other life 'improvements' such as healthy eating, excercise and better sleep. For me, around my exam season this year I gave up sugar and masturbation - I cannot begin to describe how I felt. It was like the brain cloud I had was lifted - I could read a page and it would all sink in the first time I read it.

    Dopamine is produced every time you masturbate - the hormone of 'reward'. If you give up masturbating, you may be compensating for that dopamine deficit by doing something else which gives that hit, such as eating more junk food. Does this sound possible?

    Hope this helps. From personal experience I've found that NoFap is a means, not an end. :)
     
  9. Grendel

    Grendel Fapstronaut

    25
    0
    1
    Hey, thanks for the support everyone, I really needed it. It's also good to know I'm not the only one who feels a bit insane... lol

    I hope these are our last streaks, and if not, we'll just have to keep trying.

    adamejay - I never really considered that about the junk food tbh. I'm actually fasting at the moment (I'm a Muslim, participating in holy month Ramadan). The fasts are 19 hours so it messes with my sleep pretty badly, and although I have made some efforts to eat healthier, I often end up gourging more than I should from the illusion of extreme hunger.
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2014
  10. Vortis

    Vortis Fapstronaut

    291
    6
    18
    Hey man, I remember making it 110 days out and still having some problems with social anxiety etc. Recovery is not linear so even during that streak I felt great at certain points and poorly at others. Eventually it levels out and things go smoother.

    Try including meditation, it might help to stabilize things a bit.
     
  11. russel3

    russel3 Fapstronaut

    43
    1
    0
    Hey im also 17 and relate to you and shade of past. One of the biggest reasons im trying to stop is to get rid of social anxiety/fear. Never use to have it so its was frustrating, then relized that it started shortly after i started PMOing. Everybody that iv seen says after they beat the addiction says that it was worth all the pain/hardship that it took them to get rid of it. I know that it is the hardest thing iv ever done so thats gotta mean that its gunna feel pretty good on the other side. This is a turning point in our lives. Either we try to forget everything wev read and heard and go back to "enjoying our selves" which will lead to a down slide, or we can remember and take the hard path were we fight this demon every day until we finally win and reap the benifit of not being enslaved to this addiction. Haha its kinda like matrix but its true. Keep fighting, good luck!
     
  12. Shade of Past

    Shade of Past New Fapstronaut

    4
    0
    0
    Glad to hear that another guy just like us takes up the fight! Don't stop, brother, it's hard but for the better. When it gets hard to control yourself, think about other people trying to give up that cursed addiction. Don't fail them (and yourself)!
     
  13. aaron92

    aaron92 Fapstronaut

    937
    9
    18
    I agree with this.
     
  14. Grendel

    Grendel Fapstronaut

    25
    0
    1
    You guys make me feel like hammering this thing!

    I was close to a relapse yesterday but luckily found myself closing the links quickly before I did something stupid. Constant erections all day long don't make it easy to forget though...

    I know this is a widespread issue for men and women of all ages, but I find it sad that it has become such a major problem particularly for so many teenage guys like me, russel3 and Shade of Past. Everything has become so over sexualised and porn is way too easy to access at a younger age. I don't want to live in a future where six year olds are pumping their members with horse hormones or directing porn shoots in their playrooms.:(
     
  15. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    Hey I'm 17 too and we have a lot of things in common. I'm pasting the same thing I wrote in your other post so that it won't go unnoticed
    I had social anxiety nervous laughter issues and I still do BT its becoming less day by day with the help of not fapping, meditation (definitely helps)and exercising like hell,relaxing and generally being comfortable. Face your weaknesses boldly and deal with the anxiety even if you fail. It wont go on its own completely. I used to do public speaking stuff ever since I was small and I was never scared of getting on the stage but it started scaring the fuck out off me ever since I had this porn problem.
    You should be lucky that you probably don't have ed (Just guessing). My ed isnt improving and it probably never will but there is a lot more awesome stuff to life than sex. I'm the center of attraction at every place now and I have a bigass friends circle
    Even though I started getting scared of public speaking a lot, shivering and shaky voice and shit, I started doing public speaking a lot after my nofap reboot thing began, scared every time as hell and yesterday I suddenly felt very comfortable just like before and I made the audience and my lecturers laugh so much with my speech.
    But I always say go through this reboot just once and not million times.
    And my last piece of suggestion or request would be, in order to succeed at nofap long permanent streak make a firm decision of quitting fapping forever because its of no use and serves no purpose and is demeaning disgusting.
    Let go of your past and start building the future and start living it. Be sexy. More than willpower its the mindset that matters the most. Brag infront of everyone that there is no way in hell I'm gonna relapse on this site even if you are unsure about it. If you fake confidence long enough you end up feeling confident. Firmly believe in yourself and advice yourself. Don't burst your bubble. Go through all the shitty withdrawals and what not just once in one reboot and if you relapse don't binge just get on track.
    Fappin ain't an option as much as porn.
    And you ll get sexually frustrated and suffer and face a lot of conflicts because you are out of your comfort zone. Fuck that zone. Nothing ever grows there. Cherish conflict they offer a deeper human personal connection. Suffer. Be strong. And yes relax and have a calm approach.
    The solution is simple: Stay off the porn and masturbation and objectifying women and completely stop thinking about sex. It won't hurt. What they offer is temporary and always unfulfilling.
     
  16. Grendel

    Grendel Fapstronaut

    25
    0
    1
    Sorry to hear about the ed Rocky. I don't know how far into your streak you are, but from what plenty other guys have said, their ed did eventually go away and I hope the same goes for you.

    I'm feeling very inspired to tackle these problems now.
     
  17. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    I'm glad you realized and started out soon and saved yourself the trouble. I'm on day 40 or something and no improvements except mild morningerections about 5 times a week and I can get a 40 to about 80 percent erection by touch most of the time although I don't test and rarely I get erections close to 80 to 90 percent that last for a longgg time. And sometimes complete full erections but the rest of the time, its dead and no action down there. I'm completely hopeless that I will ever get to fall in love, get married etc. It sucks. I did this to myself with 3 yes of excessive pmo and edging from age 14 till my 17th birthday
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 4, 2014
  18. Shade of Past

    Shade of Past New Fapstronaut

    4
    0
    0
    Yup, 'fake it till you make it'. Worked for me, lost it due to relapse, unfortunately. Thank you for your advices. I wish your ED will go away as soon as possible. Also, don't be so pessimistic on the love topic, I'm awkward when it comes to relationships, but I can tell from my own experience, it comes when you least expect it. Seriously.
     
  19. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    Thank you mate thanks a lot I know I will never relapse because I have suffered a lot down that path
    And I know that my ed is a classic cause of porn and excessive masturbation but I cant help and feel hopeless most of the time because I have forgotten what normal feels like and I've always been kind of a romantic lol and thanks for the love advice and positivity.
     
  20. Grendel

    Grendel Fapstronaut

    25
    0
    1
    I wouldn't worry about relationships Rocky, I'm sure you'll do fine and settle down with someone great when all of this is over. That's not coming from experience btw (I haven't even had a female friend since primary school! Come to think of it, I've only had a handful of short interactions with girls at the most since then), I just think everyone here is showing a strong positive character merely trying to overcome something like this. That's something I imagine girls would admire.
     

Share This Page