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Why Should I Quit?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by AUTiger7222, Jan 9, 2019.

  1. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    You want honesty? Here's honesty, why should I quit? That is what I'm asking myself right now because right now I have no reason to quit. No motivation. Nothing to cling to when it's time to make the decision to do it or not do it. It's not like I can tell myself "I love God enough that I will choose him over porn." That's not true. I don't love God like that so what reason should I have to deny myself something that gives me a temporary moment of pleasure in an otherwise completely miserable thing called life? Until I have a solid thing to cling to I'll never quit porn, even if I wanted to, which I don't. God can't help me until I want to help myself and I'm not there because why should I be? I'm miserable either way. I'm completely lost and alone either way so honestly what difference does it make? It doesn't. Hopefully things will change one day and I'll have a reason to want to rid myself of this sin but until then I'm completely hopeless and a lost cause.
     
  2. Saiful91

    Saiful91 Fapstronaut

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    Im asking the same thing
     
  3. yah you sure are a lost cause with that attitude, you obviously do have a reason to quit, your life is shit and you have no direction, you dont seem to have a reason to live either and i can tell you are severely depressed. You do have a reason to quit, your reason is getting better, and not living this life anymore. I am not sure if you are a christian, by the sound of it you are not but if so you really need to apologize to God and read his word. And yah i see why you are alone, no one wants to be around such a negative person, i used to be like you until i realized that if you hold on life wont change, and ever since i made my change i feel amazing, life has purpose and meaning now, i hope you find yours.
     
    aston20 likes this.
  4. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    I had a similar feeling for a long time. Being religious, I was well aware that what I was doing was wrong, but that wasn't a strong enough thing to cling to and heal myself. It simply never worked, for quite a few years.
    Things changed when I went to the military. While my willpower greatly strengthened at the time, it was more about what was happening in my life outside of the army- my brother got engaged and later married, and a number of close friends as well. And then it hit me full in the face that I too, would like to get married some time in the next few years (hopefully), and I'd like a healthy relationship with my future wife- in order for this to happen, I had to quit PMO ASAP. I finished my service, and here I am.
     
    Deleted Account and AUTiger7222 like this.
  5. Thank you for your honesty.

    This is an excellent question that maybe every addict (not just porn addicts) has asked.

    The answer is straightforward, if not easy to get to.

    Here is your choice.

    1. Continue on your path.

    Keep having brief temporary moments of pleasure. This will become harder and harder as your brain constantly habituates, until you get severe DE and can't cum, then PIED and can't even get it up any more. Then you're truly in trouble — how will you get your temporary moments of pleasure then?

    Keep going so that your miserable life grows miserabler and miserabler, until you have nothing left to live for.

    2. Heal and grow

    Change. Turn things around. Live a constantly improving life so that you have only temporary moments of misery in an otherwise completely wonderful thing called life.

    As I said, this isn't an easy thing to get to. I realise that at your stage in life, such an outcome seems hopelessly unrealistic.

    But it's actually achievable. I've seen it done in more than one person (in real life, not on a forum).

    You need help, especially therapy. You need to trust that it's possible. You need to make a commitment — because no one can make you do it.

    But you must get help. As someone once said, "You need to do it by yourself, and you can't do it alone."

    Commit to a 90-day hard reboot. Yes, you might reset after only a day. Then after two days. Then three. But each attempt makes you wiser and more resilient, as your brain (slowly) starts to wake up from the smog that you've been pumping into it.

    At first, it will feel like a pointless, useless, hopeless exercise, a waste of time and effort. After a while, though, as the changes continue in the background, the time will come when you start to notice the changes in the foreground.

    It's like when building a house, the first couple of months all you see is a hole in the ground for the foundation, then being filled up with bricks. "How pointless," you might say to yourself, "digging a hole just to fill it up again." But without the foundation, a house cannot be built.

    It's doable. But it won't happen until you do it.

    We're here for you. Make it happen. Make it your new project.
     
  6. Uncomfortably Numb

    Uncomfortably Numb Fapstronaut

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    A good question and I believe the answer lies in whether you feel you have 'lost' anything to porn.
    Many on here have 'lost' lovers, sexual partners, friends, time, energy, well-being, pride, honesty, self esteem, dignity, confidence... the list goes on.
    If you have lost any of the above but value PMO more then by all means continue with your existing lifestyle...
     
    aston20 and boborosso like this.
  7. At risk of getting you upset I’m going to go out on a limb and say deep down you really want to quit but you’re frustrated with the battle. I say this because you’re still posting on the site and I think it’s a good thing. I hope you keep coming and sharing your frustrations. I was at that point also, where I wanted to throw in the towel and give up. But deep down inside I knew I couldn’t. The course I was on was going to land me in prison. I had to quit.

    Keep posting, keep venting, and don’t bottle things up. I’m really glad you’re still coming around. There’s still a bit of the fighting spirit in you that just needs encouragement.

    I know you have a career goal. Keep aiming for it. I think it’s a wonderful goal that will help many others.
     
    aston20 and Mordobarn like this.
  8. Clarke

    Clarke Fapstronaut

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    No one is gonna force you to quit watching porn if you don't want to. There's no secret to doing it, you just have to want to do it.
     
  9. PathOfReform

    PathOfReform Fapstronaut

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    You're practically saying "Hi, my life is shit. Why not make it shittier instead of trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel?".

    You'll never find something to cling on, something to motivate you if you keep on making excuses to justify your addiction that probably is one of the major factors that are holding you back from improving your life.
    This mindset is going to keep you trapped in a vicious cycle of sadness and hopelessness.

    I really get pissed off when people say "God will save you" and "God will give you all the answers". You were given the ability to freely think and act on your own accord for a reason. It's YOUR job to pick yourself up. I do believe that God can help you, I believe that he does whenever it's actually necessary, whenever you're ready to take the opportunity that he gives you and make the best out of it.
    That being said - I'm not forcing my beliefs on you, because it doesn't matter how you look at it, whether it's from a more religious point of view or a completely secular one - Your attitude is what's dragging you down, your excuses of "I can't quit" and "Porn at least makes me happy for a moment" are the ones an addict would make to justify his terrible behavior.
    Don't lie, becuase we all know it makes you feel terrible afterwards or at least did for a while up until a point you suppressed these emotions and you started to give up, because otherwise you wouldn't be here.

    Right now, I still have A LONG way to go both with fighting my addiction and improving my life(goes hand to hand), but despite feeling down and miserable, I know one thing - eversince I stopped binging and watching porn all day long, I at least FEEL what's wrong with my life, I UNDERSTAND what I'm missing, I'm not a drooling zombie anymore that lets his libido control him and blind him. I'm somewhat in control of myself for the first time in years.
    Fighting this addiction made me see things in a different light, I crave so many things that I did before, but porn always distracted me from them , and now I'm finally ready to take my first steps to improve my life and finally get out of this miserable state.

    You can bitch all you want and make excuses, but we both know that if Porn wasn't one of the major factors, or perhaps the biggest one that made you feel miserable in the first place, you would have never seeked help here to begin with. Porn drains you out of motivation and will once you become addicted, you feel empty. This much we all know, including yourself. So you better start thinking what your next step is going to be - Do you fight it or buy your own piss-poor excuses and ruin your life forever? Because in your state, we both know there's absolutely nothing for you to lose by trying.
     
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2019
    LoyalKnight likes this.
  10. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    You can't lose something you don't have. I've never had the opportunity to put anything else in front of it.
     
  11. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    I'm seeking therapy. Just waiting for my appointment on January 22nd.
     
  12. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    I'm not trying to make excuses for why I do it. I've been doing that and saying I can't quit when I truly knew I could if I wanted it bad enough. That brings me to the question I'm asking here, why should I quit? I have no reason to quit. That's the point. I don't have God. I don't have friends. I don't have family. I don't have a job. I don't have a church. I don't have a life. I don't have anything to put in place of porn to where I can say if I keep doing it I'm gonna lose this or that because you can't lose what you don't have. When it comes to the decision to do it or not do it there is no PROS and CONS. There's nothing. No way am I trying to justify it. I'm begging for a reason to want to quit. Something that I can gravitate to and think about and focus on in my moments of temptation. I sleep 10-12 hours a day because I just don't want to wake up. I don't want to get up and face my life in the face. If I had a reason to quit then quitting would be easy but when there's no reason to quit, then quitting becomes the hardest thing in life to do. Everyone likes to talk about how I should do this or do that to improve my life. Then what? What will that do? I'll magically not want to kill myself anymore because I love myself too much to do that? Yeah, whatever. Quit for my future wife? Yeah, fat chance of that happening. Women don't marry guys like me. I'm great "friends only" material but I'm not "husband material." I don't even know why I'm answering you because you're set in your ways of thinking you know me when you don't.
     
  13. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    Yeah, I know. But the thing is you can't do something unless you've got a reason to do it and I don't have a reason to do it.
     
  14. You should know why you want to quit. If you have to ask us why you should quit then you’re obviously not going to quit. I know damn well why I want to quit, I surely don’t need anybody to tell me why I should.
     
  15. Clarke

    Clarke Fapstronaut

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    Is it causing any problems in your life?
     
  16. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    I don't have a life for it to cause problems with. I sit in my bedroom 95% percent of the time. It's why I sleep 10-12 hours a day.
     
  17. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    I don't have a reason to quit. That is how shitty my life is.
     
  18. Are you still going to school?
     
  19. Clarke

    Clarke Fapstronaut

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    Then don't quit
     
  20. Uhhh...there’s your reason to quit.
     

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