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Why does it feel like that it's not possible for girls to like me.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by zxcv, Nov 12, 2018.

  1. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    One of the biggest myths I was fed when younger was: "He is such a good looking dude and that's why he gets a lot of women attracted to him". Nothing could be further from the truth as women are not as visually oriented as men when it comes to appearance and looks.
    Women tend look for confidence, security, stability and a sense of humor rather than looks and possessions. Any average (or even below average) man can acquire a beautiful woman if he just has some decent game.
     
    Ra's Al Ghul likes this.
  2. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    I'll never understand why someone won't just love me. That's all I've ever wanted. One woman that I can spoil and give my everything to. So over hearing "just not your time" or "everything happens when it's supposed to." That doesn't help me. That doesn't heal my broken heart. There's nothing that will fill the emptiness and hurt I feel. I'm so over hearing "you're such a nice guy but let's just be friends." How does that help me? It doesn't. All it tells me is that I'm not good enough for you. That I'll never be good enough for you. That no matter how much I give no one wants me. What is so wrong with me that no one loves me?
     
  3. I have no idea how to answer this thread. I mean, perhaps it feels that way because of your own opinion of yourself, or you really are having trouble finding a relationship. Knowing that a relationship probably isn't going to cure you of loneliness (or PMO), sounds like a nice place to start.

    I'm in no position to make suggestions but if I were, I'd suggest trying to become more adjusted and tolerant of who you are as a person and of your relationship status

    I've been single my whole life, so I don't know rejection as much as some or what it's like to be in a relationship. What I do know is there's no magic bullet or cure for being someone that thinks they're unlovable (or in this case, unlikable), only you can do that.

    All of the best to you in whatever it is you want from this. I found this really interesting.
     
    mirx88 likes this.
  4. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    What I am feeling from your words is that you're tired of getting friendzoned. Well I hear ya. I would say keep working on yourself and don't give up; but if you give up don't expect good results. As Tom Petty sang, "the waiting is the hardest part".
     
    Angus McGyver likes this.
  5. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    There are few characteristics that women reject and repel more than: neediness and a negative mindset. If you feel like a woman is the only thing you need in order to fulfill a big gap/void in your life, you really need to work on yourself so that you can feel confident, at peace and enjoying the present moment, even without a woman next .
    A woman who is there only for the sake of fulfilling that gap/void in your life is not going to make you feel any better, plus she will soon be ready to leave when she finds out you have nothing of value to offer. My advice is to work on yourself and self-improvement (step by step) so you can feel happy and good about yourself, even if a woman isn't present.

    A negative and destructive mindset is also very repulsive to women because guys who think negatively about themselves and others radiate that vibe and energy out to their surroundings. Women are expert at reading several non-verbal clues so they will immediately sense whether a guy thinks positively about himself, is confident and values himself or not. Self-improvement goes hand in hand with altering your negative mindset into a positive one as well. It won't go over night so be patient and work to improve yourself and your mindset first and foremost.

    Two years ago, I was myself hitting rock-bottom mentally (after masturbating too much) and really had to look myself in the mirror and ask what the heck I was doing with my life and if this was really the way I wanted things to continue. I said "Heck no"!!
    "From now on I will do whatever I can in order to improve myself and make my life awesome and flourishing in the long-run, even if I only make small progress in the beginning".
    Here I am two years later and feeling like I am on the top of the world (despite not having a girlfriend at the moment) and that it will only get better ahead!!!

    Remember and keep in mind that all changes start with yourself!!
    It is definitely possible to turn the tables and make a great future for yourself!!
     
    mirx88 and AUTiger7222 like this.
  6. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    This is a good post. I just believe that the single life is less important and necessary. What good are accomplishments if you have no one to celebrate them with and tell you that they're proud of you? I can't fake being my own biggest cheerleader when coming home to an empty house means nothing. What good is everything I try to do to make myself better when there's no one to recognize and appreciate it?
     
  7. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    Haven't you heard that song by Progressive Rock band Yes; "Owner of a lonely heart, much better than an owner of a broken heart".
     
  8. Khufu

    Khufu Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    do you still live in the same town/city that you where raised in, i beleive it depends where you live, you got to find a town city thats similar to the one you where raised in, its the mindstate,behavior that we sync with
     
  9. Khufu

    Khufu Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    the same goes with finding a career
     
  10. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    I have the same problem, it's like there is something in me that repels woman.

    And in the last 5/6 years i've done a lot to try to fix that. I read self development books, books on how to attract woman, but despite all the effort i am still completely unable to attract even one.

    I've given up, i'm 33, and still i'm completely unable to get the minimum result even after all the trying.

    It's like woman feel that negativity, and even if i've been able to cover it sometimes, i look fake to them, they feel i'm "acting" or that something is wrong with me, and they go away, they are repulsed.

    All my friends are married with kids and i'm not even able to find a girlfriend.

    I really don't know what to try anymore.
     
    AUTiger7222 likes this.
  11. fellowBrother

    fellowBrother Fapstronaut

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    Nofap is a great start. I am surprised it hasn't helped you with a streak like yours. Keep trying.
     
  12. Run_Like_Joseph_Did

    Run_Like_Joseph_Did Fapstronaut

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    Ya know man, I get it... I hate knowing that even if I do manage to somehow get a date with a girl, I will always know that their are a million men out their who look better, feel better, act better, and love better than you can at least by their standards. I know with certainty that you are depressed. And I can say with almost certainty that you’ve probably thought about suicide or self harm. I also know that you have probably shed tears over this utter hatred of yourself. It doesn’t fix anything man. It’ll only make women more repulsed when they see a broken man walk in the room with death in his eyes. You will not find fulfillment in a woman no matter how drop dead gorgeous or caring she is. The only thing that will ever give you any sort of true piece is to repent of your evil and turn to Christ. I’m not in a better place than you at the moment. I hate myself too. I simply plead with you to turn to God. Beg for mercy and tell him how you need his help.
     
    AUTiger7222 likes this.
  13. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    I also thought it would help, but till now it didn't.
     
  14. ! There could be some TRIGGERS in this media !

     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2018
    Angus McGyver likes this.
  15. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    I know what feeling you are mentioning as I am sometimes struggling with the same sense of failure and loneliness you are mentioning but guess what, that doesn't stop me one minute from continuing to march on the path of self-improvement I am currently on.
    Although, I am many times jealous and envious of those who have found love and a partner, I still can't beat myself up too much over that as it leads me nowhere. Also, you never know if things might look sour under the shiny surface.
    Instead, I am grateful that I got these years and this opportunity to improve myself because, at the end of the day, I rather be alone and become a greater and better man (who will eventually find the right one further ahead) than jumping into a lousy relationship as a mediocre man, just for the sake of it.
    There are certainly no easy life-journeys and the road to greatness is certainly paved for those who (despite all blocks and bumps on the way) manage to rise and get themselves back time after time, learn from their mistakes and implement the wisdom from these experiences next time the road-blocks come by.
     
  16. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Unfortunately this shit is probably true.

    I've tried those pump your ego things, believe in yourself, behave like you are alpha, and shit like that. Just doesn't work. You need a lot of energy to keep up with that, and the result is not you. That just doesn't work.
     
    AUTiger7222 likes this.

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