Why do we put women on pedastals ?

Lack of experience can be one of the reasons. The more people you talk to (old young / big small / female male / homosexual straight / etc) you'll eventually see that people are just people. More experience being around attractive women is the same thing. You begin to see their flaws and imperfections. You'll see that they're people just like everyone else. Nobody is above or below. We're all on the same level.

When you lack experience with attractive women you feel like you need a specific outcome to happen. As if that person is the only shot you'll ever have at happiness. So you begin to act out of fear. Idolizing someone isn't out of love. It's out of an unhealthy obsession and being out of touch with reality.

 

I have trouble with this too. Seeing someone for who they are is something I need to work on.

 

I find I'm on the offensive with attractive women who walk like they know they are. I grant them no leeway, whatsoever. I maintain my space in the hallway/on the sidewalk. I've started to deliberately make eye contact. For the longest time, I walk around fearing how others react/don't react to me when moving through society. I will speak with authority, and if my words are ignored/passively dismissed, I will establish eye contact and repeat myself. It's conscious practice for me. It's not easy. It's all at once stressful/de-stressing. A new kind of stressor, if you will, while letting go of an old one. But I have a feeling this new stressor is one of impermanence as I start feeling more confident about myself/seeing through others' stilted senses of selves more and more.

 

The worst thing I mean, is, that markedly when being in the presence of beautiful, narcissistic women, you get the sense of this 21st century separatism at the highest level. If we "buzz" with an energy, these people are powerhouses of this negative energy. And it's not THEM that hurt me, it's their mirroring back many societal issues I have to live with every day. Hypersexualization creating standards of "never good enough," social media narcissism/separatism, lack of/want for community, materialism, etc. It's all there in that stroll by another person, for me. It doesn't stop at the beautiful/catty woman. It can be the downtrodden, older man. The isolate younger MGTOW man. The tired, middle aged woman. I don't know, I just kind of see it to some degree in everyone, everywhere. But the former are the ones who seem perfectly fine with the way things are; many are still making out quite alright. Yet STILL have a whole army of cheerleaders who say they're oppressed, which I know objectively has nothing to do with them. But they, along with being looked after by dad a whole lot with everything from their grade school grades, to their first car, benefit from this "privilege" (threw up in my mouth a bit from typing that word). That irritates/vexes me. I'm sure my eye-to-mind's views are not totally objective. This is my own experience. Any following posters, feel free to call me on my views. I'd like to explore them a bit in here with you all.

 

So call me on it, posters. Am I a misogynist? Please explain to me your views. I don't want to start a whole new thread. I figured we could all have tangential conversations in this relevant thread.

 

Yeah I use to feel this way and I'm learning it's my ego and mind causing this separation and I'm learning on ignoring these thoughts and started practicing living in the present

 

I suggest you focus on kicking your pmo habit and replacing it with something healthy and talking to women and people in generally want be so daunting because you find fulfillment in things that give you self worth and purpose

 

I used to always feel this way. I would see a girl that I liked and then instantly believe she was above me, or should be treated as such. Always wincing at the thought of getting rejected, and always fearful at the thought of even trying to kiss a girl I truly cared about. Well, last year I just kinda said screw it and kissed a girl, then proceeded to get into a relationship. Everything changed after that, I'm more confident, and I don't see myself as scared of women or worshiping them for that matter. Now, I'm not saying use a girl to get over it, but I'd suggest listening to some topics about rejection. I know that Jordan Peterson once said you should try to ask out a girl every day, or every other day. This is not to get you a girlfriend, but to make your brain comfortable towards rejection.

 

Essentially what I'm getting at in the topic above is you just need two things: experience and confidence. With experience the confidence will come, and if you never gain experience, you'll never change, simple as that.

 

In my opinion, whenever you put someone on a pedestal it is because you do not value your own self-worth.

 

I have this with every girl i find attractive and want to get to know. I think this is out of experience I don't have.

 

As I said in my post, Jordan Peterson, now. Honestly to y'all who are having problems with confidence him and Jocko Willink are godsend. Love both of those guys.

PS- if you disagree with their politics, don't listen to their politics, but listen to their lifestyle advice, IT WILL HELP.
Extreme Ownership, learn it, love it.

 

This. And also lack of experience. Plus hitting on girls that are way out of your league

 

People always complain about dating and it being like catch 22 how can you be confident if you've never dated? Solution- drop your standards and keep working on yourself.

 

Also here's food for thought pretty girls even the ones with silver spoons take dumps. That's right they sit on the toilets hitch their knees together, clench their buttocks and squeeze out a log. Kinda gross but true.

 

From what I've found in my journey you have to first make a sort of act of faith in the belief that you do in fact have worth. From there you strive to live each day according to that belief. Along with that it's good to find out what your talents are and then share those with others.