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Why do some people try to bring others down?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by skart, Apr 15, 2015.

  1. skart

    skart Guest

    I've made alot of positive changes in my life but i've noticed that the people around me constantly resist change and try to bring me down in certain ways. Is it just the human psychology of survival of the fittest at work? Should i trust anyone anymore? I feel moral standards or justice dont exist anymore in society.
     
  2. It's a form of sucking other people's energy to feed the ego. Nothing to do with survival of the fittest in my opinion.
     
  3. Shock Diesel

    Shock Diesel Fapstronaut

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    Skart,

    I know what you mean, unfortunately I wish there was an answer and a clear cut way to instigate change. The truth is, resisting change is part of our DNA. As humans, our brains are wired to act and then repeat that action over and over again; a cyclical pattern. Many people resist change because they fear the unknown. If they change, what will happen to them? Will people view them negatively? Fear of the unknown inhibits a persons ability to change. In some cases, said person might not even realize the effect of their actions unless they step back and view themselves in a different light.

    As negative and hopeless I may sound, fortunately the world is diverse, and not everyone is so stubborn of their ways. Yes you can trust others, and you will meet those people with whom you can place your trust in. There are many people who are open minded, who are positive, supportive, and inspirational. If your circle is filled with negativity and distrust, that circle isn't right for you. Leave it and create your own circle that shares the same qualities that you value the most. You can and you will find people who embody these qualities, it's just a matter of time and actually seeking out those people.

    Best of luck my friend!
     
  4. Steel Fury

    Steel Fury Fapstronaut

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    This is true, but a lot of people don't want those around them to change either. Think about this for a second: Why do people watch sit-coms that recycle the same jokes every week? Why do people watch old re-runs of the same sitcoms? I believe it's because for a lot of people, it's like dropping in on old friends that never change. What you'll find any time you want to do something different in your own life, is that often your friends (and in some cases even your family) will resist. Deep down they know that if you succeed in nofap or in trying to reach any other major goal, you'll be a different person. What a lot of the negative people are afraid of is firstly, that you'll show them up for the changes they haven't made in their own lives, and secondly, that you'll move out of their circle. That they won't be able to plop themselves down on your sofa, ask for a beer and have things be the same as they always were.

    As for what you can do about it, well, you have two options here. You can either call them out on their behaviour and make it clear that you ARE going to change your life regardless of their opinion. Or the second option is to leave that group of friends and find people who embody the values and traits you are aiming for.

    I wish you luck.
     
  5. Shock Diesel

    Shock Diesel Fapstronaut

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    Very good points. Like you mentioned, these people who don't like change, really don't want anyone else to change around them. I think a big point is that these types of people are very insecure about themselves (like Steel suggests), and the only way of feeling better about themselves is by bringing down those around them. It's like in the book 'Tao of Badass', in which the author uses a scale to rate a mans' behavior. If a guy is a 6 (don't quote me), he is a person that is a jerk, tends to be very competitive, and brings everyone else around him down. The reason he does this is because he doesn't feel like he can compete for a woman's attention by being himself, so he tries to show bring everyone else around him to "level the playing field". Point being, people are just affraid -- or they just don't want-- to see others be better than them, or to succeed.
     
  6. skart

    skart Guest

    Thanks for all your advice. I have to endure this hostility for 2 more years in college where i am studying. I hope i can make it.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 16, 2015
  7. vik17

    vik17 Fapstronaut

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    There are many reasons for that in my opinions but I'd rather not waste time with thinking about that. I follow this quote by Dr. Seuss: Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
    Whatever new ventures I try, my dad and other relatives often demean me. Yet once I do succeed in these, they just praise me. So I don't focus on their opinions anymore.

    I also befriend people who constantly motivate me to fulfill my goals.

    I would advise you to do the same. Ignore those people who bring you down and associate with like minded people.
     
  8. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    I look at the world in terms of vibrating energy, might sound hokey but hear me out. Basically there is low vibrating energy which is dense and negative and there is high vibrating energy which is light and positive. The more you work to improve your life and find fulfillment within yourself the higher your vibrational energy. The law of energies states that two opposing vibrations cannot be in the same room together without becoming similar. So a high vibrational energy person would need to bring their energy down to meet the other person of negative vibration or the lower vibrational energy person will need to bring theirs up.

    When people bring you down, you are being sucked into their vibrational pull which is lower than yours. Your job during that time is to focus on keeping your energy high and they will have no choice but to rise up to meet yours. Do not let them affect your high vibration. Sometimes others cannot raise their vibrations. They are too negative. We may lose friends over this but it is much better than lowering our vibration in order to be friends with them. This is not to say we are better than others, because that thought in and of itself is a low vibration, we are just on different paths.
     
  9. slamdunk

    slamdunk Fapstronaut

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    If they hurt you dont hurt them, just tell them it is wrong.
    It is a matter of choice and how to response to choices of others.

    I mean it is good to put away bad people but they are all arround us and we cannot help it.
    Dont you feel big when others get emotionnal and vicious but you manage to be the same, knowing the impact you have on people.
    Some situations will require you to go way, others will require you to let them go away.

    Dont know if it is clear in writing, looks good in my mind
     
  10. FutureGuitarGod

    FutureGuitarGod Banned by User Request

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    Avoid them. The company you keep can be detrimental if they don't understand what you're going through. If you are an outgoing person, surround yourself with better people who will cheer you on.
     
  11. Kristian

    Kristian Fapstronaut

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    I agree with @FutureGuitarGod - if you are surrounded by persons who constantly try to bring you down, trust me, it is time to make new pals and acquaintances. Mainly because you will never reach your personal best and to be completely honest, regular people whom you interact with should be supportive and open-minded. In my personal view, I'd rather be the idiot in a group of smart persons, instead of the other way around.

    I recently gave up on a lot of so-called 'buddies' that were only bringing me down and I feel great about it. Trust me, you'll do too. Just try to find the proper ones. And 2-3 close and good persons are better than hundreds of fake ones.
     
  12. I've had this thought all my life, I have realized that people like to bring you down probably because they want to be something that they are not. They want to laugh at you trying to improve there are assholes like that. Without challenge everybody would earn the reward, see what I'm saying? I'm saying you have to not ignore those people, you have to DESTROY the negative things that they are saying don't allow them to change your thinking, your actions. It's up to you not them, you will succeed just don't let them bring you down. They are like who they are for a reason, they refuse to care about who they are or want to be. It's not about them, It's about people with high dedication like all of us that matters. We are the champions, not in a game not on a FUCKING SOCIAL MEDIA SITE. On a level that they have never reached for drive for this place where we thrive is called life.
     

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