Why do so many heterosexual Men suffer from ''HOCD''

You need to firstly calm down and stop condemning those that suffer from this. It has absolutely nothing to do with bigotry or the like, and if you think otherwise then you need to educate yourself more on this subject. HOCD is caused by PMO addiction, which manifests itself many times into radical alteration of sexual fantasies and behavior. As individuals view more and more porn their fantasies escalate until they’re at a point far beyond what they started out as. This is perfectly evidenced by how addicts complain that they are no longer “turned on” by the same porn clips/categories that they used to get off to. HOCD is not about some underlying homophobia, it is about the individual being afraid that their sexuality has changed when they intrinsically always knew themselves to be straight. This is a very real affliction that can only be solved by abstaining from PMO for an extended period of time. Chalking it up to “bigotry” or “homophobia” is both completely ill-informed as well as reprehensible. Please refrain from shaming others who are going through this and instead realize that this is a forum where users are supposed to lift each other up in support, not condemn each other in judgement.

 

@Woodland-Soul hope this isn't too personal, but if possible, would you care to share what gender your wet dreams are about?

As someone who's had porn induced gay fantasies, my wet dreams about girls exclusively have made me realize porn induced desensitization and resulting escalation is exactly what leads to h-ocd.
I'm absolutely convinced abstinence induced wet dreams can give a lot of h-ocd sufferers out there the peace of mind they desperately search and need. This going back to absolute basic is the answer any h-ocd sufferer has been looking for. I'm convinced wet dreams are the product of innate sexual orientation, whereas porn induced gay fantasies are the product of artificial sexuality, desensitization and resulting escalation. It is this simplicity h-ocd sufferers are longing for but can't seem to find because of their addictions and continued porn use. They can't reconnect with their very nature.

Please don't think all h-ocd sufferers are secretly closeted because the fear is real. This fear will include daily obsessions over sexual orientation and can paralyze the sufferer. It's a condition in which the mind takes over the heart and people just lose themselves because of it. For someone who's not naturally gay, these fantasies are completely fear-based. It's the shock that's so arousing, but someone who is innately straight will torment himself mentally after having had such fantasies. The associations with bigger and better orgasms set up by porn in the h-ocd sufferer's brain will make it hard for them to resist these same fantasies next time they are battling temptation. This, needless to say, can be soul-destroying.

Just because people are having these fantasies doesn't mean they are closeted. Someone who is truly gay, as I'm sure you will agree, will enjoy their orientation, will genuinely love men and won't delete their profiles on gay dating apps once their endorphin rush is over.

 

Most people are bisexual - meaning under certain circumstances (prison, military, monastery, teenagers, alcohol, drugs, prostitution, etc.) they are willing and able to have sex with both genders. People who can only accept the binary version: 100% gay vs. 100% straight may panic over the possibility, that they are not "pure straight". Honestly, I do not care, not my problem. If you can jerk off to gay porn, you are at least bisexual in my book. It doesn´t matter, if there is no "wish for any relationship" or "dating a guy" or "being disgusted after orgasm". When I was a young teenager the idea of kissing another guy totally freaked me out, because I did no know that this was even an option, it just seemed totally gross to me.

Spoiler: fantasy

Nevertheless I´ve got much easier horny by fantasizing about cocks or the idea sucking a dick.

Either you accept it or you go into denial and feel guilty for it. Personal choice.

 

Please don't bring your PC culture into this argument. I personally don't have H-ocd but I can kinda imagine starting for it to occur if I hadn't started my reboot when I did.

For guys who are straight- most of their friends are male- they are genuinely attracted to girls (especially before porn addiction, they fantasized only sexually about girls) complete desensitization is scary.

It means they can't have a child of their own. It Means maybe older members of their family will discard them.

For straight guys who are desensitized, this can be pretty scary (which is a good thing as it's usually what it takes to reboot).

Maybe you think I am bigoted but I imagine that having been very comfortable and happy with their sexuality in the past, it's scary when it all breaks down.

 

Lol bro I have nothing against others being gay but there's no way I'd want myself to be. That's why it's scary to people who aren't actually gay.

 

That´s a good summary of all those men problems here with their self diagnosed "HOCD". By the way, there is real HOCD, but it´s a very rare syndrom. Not something common every guy, who laments about getting excited by watching other guys dicks in porn, automatically has too. Just because someone fears to have bisexual tendencies, doesn´t give him HOCD. People cannot be "recruited" or "converted" to any kind of sexual behaviour, if they have it not already inside them. That goes in both ways. I could watch as much lesbian porn there is in the world, it would not turn me straight over a while or even give me a boner. It just doesn´t work, because it bores me.
And I have nothing against straight men either - so, even Steven.

 

No. Just a big ol' fucking no.

HOCD is an actual mental disorder. You're actually calling people who suffer from OCD bigotted. This is mind-boggling. For you that's a non-issue because well, you don't have this issue. That's like me telling a schizo "you're just imagining things, stop it".
I'm tired of seeing this kind of moronic bullshit online. People trying to deseprately get offended by everything and mark others as bigotted every chance they get.

I don't have any qualms with gay people. I respect them and even admire them in a way, how they keep going with their lives despite the hardships many of them had to endure. Especially those who were not lucky enough to be born into this millenia.

But I don't want to be gay myself nor am I gay like every straight guy. I suggest you research HOCD more and read about the symptoms before deciding it's "internalized homophobia and bigotry".

 

There's nothing confusing about this big guy. A lot of people watch gay/transwoman porn because it gives them the shock/anxiety needed to get off to it. It plays on their guilt and makes them more likely to relapse. As someone who is straight, it's pretty horrifying if you know deep down you're straight but what your watching inherently is disgusting to you. Porn doesn't change your sexuality, it just causes unnatural fetishes caused by dopamine dependency.

Ultimately, you gotta think about it in reality. Most straight guys who suffer from hocd, they will be attracted to women in reality, and still sexually repulsed by men. For example, there are straight guys on this forum who fell so deep in the hole of PMO that they didn't know how hijacked their brain was until they were actually in a room with another man naked, at which point they were physically repulsed because it's not their natural sexuality. Porn causes this.

So I'll say again, it's scary for someone who's straight for their brain to get hijacked like that. I don't care if others are gay, I just don't want myself to be.

 

Well, your book is full of shit.

You're oversimplifying sexuality. One of the most complex things in humans. There are so many variables to this.
Porn doesn't change your sexuality, your sexuality doesn't change like a fucking chameleon. What does happen is that people get desensitized and confused due to porn abuse. Many of them rushed to label themselves as gay or bisexual, tried to get some action with a partner of the same sex and ended up scarring themselves.

NoFap is not about trying to "convert" your sexuality, but about accepting the fact that you're a fucking addict and push you towards beating this addiction. And as a result, you might see some serious changes.

 

Exactly. This has nothing to do with sexuality, everything to do with addiction.
The worry people have is because of their dopamine dependency, not their sexuality. Cure the cause, and the issue will resolve. Get rid of porn completely, and your innate sexuality will be obvious and your mind will be put to rest.

 

I’m going to tell you this again since you seem to be too blinded by resentment to grasp it: educate yourself on what actual HOCD is before making completely ignorant and reprehensible statements about those who suffer from it. It is a very REAL disorder and those suffering from it are not some “closeted bigots” that simply need to change their thought process. HOCD is very different from the situation of someone who is actually gay but may feel shameful thoughts about it. HOCD is a form of OCD and the majority of those it affects are intrinsically straight males. They know themselves to be intrinsically straight yet the disorder causes them to obsess over their sexuality to the point that they are consumed by it. Do you tell someone with a different manifestation of OCD that they need to change their thinking and stop “obsessing over something that is so pointless?” Any medical professional would immediately explain to you that that is a complete oversimplification and shows an utter lack of understanding about how OCD works. This outwardly negative and defensive response you have towards HOCD sufferers would seem to indicate an internalized problem that you need to address. You also need to be reminded that this is not a place for you to lash out at others due to some unaddressed anger issues you seem to have. The NoFap community is here to aid each other in beating PMO addiction, which involves being supportive of others no matter their situation. This is not a place to post vindictive and resentful threads that involve insulting a group of users.

 

Completely anecdotal. Means absolutely nothing. Not everyone experiences the effects of HOCD or OCD associated with their sexuality. Every individual is different.