Why do I want to return to porn?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Fractured Mindset, Jun 5, 2019.

  1. Fractured Mindset

    Fractured Mindset Fapstronaut

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    I've been out of porn since February, and haven't masturbated in almost three weeks now, yet feelings of returning sporadically appear every day. This has me worried because, the two times this year I returned I felt bored and realized I had some immunity, but as time has gone on, I feel the immunity has gone as well. Anyone have any suggestions or answers?
    AND... I can have random sexual/porn thoughts in the middle of doing something, so keeping myself occupied isn't exactly the best answer for me.
     
    Curry likes this.
  2. TheMaster101

    TheMaster101 Fapstronaut

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    First i would like to congradulate you for being a human being and not some A.I trying to fool us.. Now to your "problem" at hand.. what you are going through is normal.. It's not so much you wanting to masturbate or watch porn it's more about your primal instincts of wanting to find a hot and sexy mate and bust all kinds of nuts deep inside her.. I am afraid to be able to rid you of these feelings i will have to kill you. Now obviously we don't live in a jungle where we can just grab a hotty whenever we like and bang like bonobo's. So we have to resort to fantasies on a screen, some lube, and our trusty old right (or left) hand.. I can't truly help you with something you have to do yourself (or in this case NOT do) but take comfort that you are not the only person on earth having these feelings. Just know that whatever you think of doing is not worth losing over a pointless 5 second brain freeze. Take care
     
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  3. Congratulations on one year! I hope one year from today I can say the same thing to myself.
     
  4. TheMaster101

    TheMaster101 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks! It wasn't easy i can tell you, i've been observing this forum for quite some time now.. and only just recently decided to post. It's been a big help for sure. But yeah just ask yourself the question.. what's the point? who am i impressing by doing something silly like that? am i myself impressed with this? what do i gain from doing this shit? these sorts of questions need to take over your mind when you are about to be triggered..
     
    kakakaki722 and recon117 like this.
  5. Yes. The other night I was thinking that all my wasted time on porn comes down to one thing--I'm addicted to porn. All the bullshit reasons I come up with for doing porn are really one thing--the addiction talking. When I go into what I think of as a mindless drift, when I don't really think about it, or put off thinking about it, and just let myself indulge, that's the addiction taking over and numbing me, and me letting it. So, yeah, really there is no point, I'm not impressed and anybody I've talked to about it isn't impressed, and I gain nothing except pleasure that isn't worth the price. And even the pleasure is kind of fucked up, because you know you're out of control and none of it is real. Of course the problem is, the addiction is powerful and wants to defeat these rational thoughts and get me to indulge. It's a weird battle within myself. I guess that's true for all of us who are addicted to porn. In any event, the point is, yes, I have to keep questioning the addiction and realizing it's bad for me. Now I need to get some stuff done and make something more of today.
     
  6. Ronila

    Ronila Fapstronaut

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    Our body works in rather straight forward way, your blood sugar begins to drop, body begins to change hormonal balance and activates certain parts of the brain to generate the sensation of hunger. Dopamine levels are bumped to motivate you to get some food and any thoughts of food further bump dopamine, thoughts of food make you literally feel good. Now that reward center is engaged and sensation of hunger is there, your brain directed and focused by dopamine makes some computations as to what will actions will satisfy this hunger. Your brain has range of activities and actions it can initiate that will solve this hunger problem and generate biggest reward for it for solving it.
    So now, seemingly out of nowhere, countless ideas emerge, should I just get coffe? Pizza? Should I get healthy salad? etc.
    Once computation part is over you made a decision about what it is you want to do and you get out of your chair, saying - I am going to get lunch, anyone wants anything?
    You then get to that place you decided to go and wait in line patiently for your turn, get that healthy salad you decided to get and when you eat it you feel a mini high - its feels so good - you did it!

    Any activity you decide to engage in, follows similar pattern. It starts with a need, that needs to be met, body generates changes in the body to facilitate that specific type of "hunger" - this creates discomfort and then releases dopamine to get the brain to crunching numbers on finding best solution.

    We easily relate to simple needs, like feeling cold, feeling tired, feeling hungry, feeling anxious, feeling guilty. These present themselves bluntly and we know what to do.
    We are less aware of other needs that are just important, feeling horny, feeling lonely, feeling sad, feeling dull, feeling unfocused. These are subtle responses that your body also regulates, and again it engages your brain to find effective solutions.

    As I said earlier the brain is encouraged by how it feels, this is why feelings are used to manage it and it also rewarded by how it feels when need is fulfilled. So it naturally looks for most rewarding solution, and obviously it wants to spend least resources getting there. When a need arises that brain knows could be solved by watching pornography or doing drugs, that becomes the behavior it places at the top of the list.
    This is learned part of the addictive behavior. When person is sad he/she just goes and hugs his/her partner for 3 hours if needed, which resolves the need and makes the person feel better, but if that behavior is not on the list - something else takes it's place.

    You have to understand that if you have an urge to do something, there is an underlying need you have that you trained yourself to meet using this activity and until that behavior is relearned, that need will trigger the urge.
     
    mma895 likes this.
  7. RamboErecto

    RamboErecto Fapstronaut

    Because it feels good, specially after a lot of retention
     
  8. TheMaster101

    TheMaster101 Fapstronaut

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    That's exactly it! when i used to do it i wasn't actually thinking of what i was doing.. it had become auto-pilot.
     
  9. B1257

    B1257 Fapstronaut

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    this is the thing...when youre on winning streak its easy to justify it. dont do it!!!
     
  10. streammango

    streammango Fapstronaut

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    HEy man i am addicted to masturbation i have sexual feelings when i am doing nothing sitting idle. i have felings of any girl sitting beside me or sitting in front of me and when i go to sleep i have images of girls fucking. what should i do to stop these.i have sexual feelings of my own sister.help
     
  11. Klici

    Klici Fapstronaut

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    Just do something.
    I'm talking about challenges, sports, women, working towards a goal, all the good stuff a person should be able to enjoy. After say 10 days of not ejaculating you acutally LIKE working on a project, be it your career or your body or whatever.
    I don't know how to describe it but it's like your body wants to get the dopamine rush from an orgasm so bad, but since you deny yourself the orgasm, your mind has to constantly find other ways to get you this feeling.
     
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  12. streammango

    streammango Fapstronaut

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    thanx man i will try it from today
     
  13. Klici

    Klici Fapstronaut

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  14. TheMaster101

    TheMaster101 Fapstronaut

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    Yes and from tomorrow and the day after.. whenever you hit a long streak and then relapse, don't look at it as defeat.. look at it as progress. Count the number of days you held a record and just try and beat that record.. Whatever you have to do to stop this non-sense..
     
  15. Fractured Mindset

    Fractured Mindset Fapstronaut

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    I remembered something earlier today- I remember seeing a documentary on meth, and that a recovered addict said that "there's not a single day that goes by where I don't think about going back."
    while porn definitely isn't as bad as meth, I realize long term I'm going to have to build up a lot of inner strength.
     

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