Why do guys with attractive girlfriends still turn to porn?

I have no problem with your opinion on this subject, I have heard it over and over and over again. How can you say I don’t want to hear it, when I already have? I just disagree with it. I have heard you out many times. I have debated with you, you have tried to convince me to change my mind. I don’t agree with you, and I never will. I respect that you have a different opinion than I do, and you have every right to express it. But I am not sure what the point is of going in circles when we are never going to agree? You want me to agree, I get that,you keep trying, but I just am not ever going to. So no need to continue.

 

Yeah, well, in my case the chance to have sex with ONE person would be something special! ^ ^

 

lol, any man with any sense of how to make a relationship work would never tell a woman to “calm down,” that made me chuckle. Really, you want me to calm down?

 

I do not think that porn is always bad. I respect those that do, but that’s not how I feel. I watched it will all of my exes, and it was never a problem. But for some it is a problem, and if you are one of those men or women you can never watch it. I think that’s a trap a lot of addicts fall into. Oh porn is Normal I can watch it no problem. Or why can other guys watch it and I cannot? I also think it’s why addicts face difficulties getting help. Many mental health professionals don’t recognize the addiction or blow it off.

 

I've felt like when I got into things like evolution, you went silent. Perhaps you don't believe in it. But the main reason I continue to respond to your posts is because I want the guys to know when you say something incorrect. For instance, you say repeatedly that a woman who will reject a guy early on if she hears about his PMO will certainly reject him later if he doesn't tell until later, so a guy shouldn't keep it a secret - I have to keep saying that that is false, because it absolutely is. Not only is it not a certainty, it doesn't happen a lot - the woman is often in love with the guy enough that she won't leave later. This is not about you and I just having a disagreement on something where opinions matter - this is about you saying something which is demonstrably false.

And I know I have already changed your view on things, or at least your wording. You used to say PMO has nothing to do with sex. And now I've seen you write that it has little to do with sex. I'm pleased because I feel I had a part to play in you learning something.

 

Am I really going to be the person to set the record straight in this thread?

Looks like it. *ahem*

There is nothing wrong with watching porn when you have a significant other.

If you’re talking about rather watching porn than being with your significant other, than that’s an entirely different issue.

 

I suspect you are going to be in the minority since you are on a site for porn addiction! And ahem ... no for porn addicts it’s not okay to watch porn if you are in a relationship. It’s not okay to watch it ever! If you are not an addict I agree it’s okay so long as you are honest when asked and it does not effect your relationship. But others don’t agree. So it’s also not okay if your SO asks you not to watch it and you continue to do so either. Are you being sarcastic?

 

Buzz Aldrin ounce punched a conspiracy
theorist in the face for saying he never walked on the moon.....

Must be some truth in what he was saying? Lol

 

The title of the thread is “why do guys with attractive girlfriends still turn to porn”.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I took the question posed to mean men in general, not necessarily men with porn addictions.

 

Well I guess one area of 'why' is everything about addiction regardless of being in a relationship, and if we're talking about addiction then it doesn't make any difference as such being in a relationship anyway; I mean this entire site is based upon the notion that people are involved with porn in a way that they don't want to be to some degree... otherwise it wouldn't be an addiction.

Beyond that for some people having a partner who turns to porn constitutes a form of infidelity and I guess that's regardless of whether they orgasm and/or wank over it.

I can see that angle and yet I also wouldn't be inclined to assume that if somebody was looking at porn (and/or involving m/o) that if the person(s) involved in the porn encountered them in real life and attempted to initiate comparable behaviour they'd necessarily engage.

It does seem that pornography in general has a sexist patriarchal slant and so it feels more natural for females to feel insecure around it, and for men to feel inclined to have to ignore such feelings - i.e. it's 'natural' for men to shag whoever/whenever they get the chance, purely for hedonistic pleasure.

I think men surely can understand how it feels like a betrayal playing upon their vulnerabilities if they had a girlfriend who kept stashing away loads of pictures and videos of body builders or something like that - men embodying a very stereotyped epitome of masculinity - specifically to drool and wank over them, and would refer to the material in intimate moments.

 

I thought I was trying to do exactly that in the first part of my post. I've no idea why this thread became such an off-topic argument, it's frustrating when that happens.

 

I think the reason as to why is not being answered because it is different for everyone, there is no one size fit one answer. And the answer for addicts is totally different than the answer for non addicts. For addicts the why is because PMO has nothing to do with sex, or how attractive your partner is. It has to do with a failure of coping mechanisms. So an addict PMOS to cope with life, sex with even the most attractive woman won’t cure that. PMO addicts also suffer from emotional intimacy problems, and emotional intimacy is needed to have sex with a partner. The hottest most attractive women in that porn could walk off the screen and be the guys girlfriend and he would still PMO. Long term porn use also creates the need for a super stimulus in order to get a dopamine rush, and no partner no matter how good looking can ever match that. It would be like a woman expecting every time she had sex to have five different men, with perfect bodies, who are excellent in bed, great hair, super good looking, who don’t talk back and do whatever she says, without asking for any pleasure herself. That’s unrealistic. BUt if you put that up against her boyfriend he can never win. Why do non addicts look at porn?: Curiousity, variety, to spice things up. I think the whole point of the response that you indicate got off track is that a man using porn, especially an addict has NOTHING to do with his partner or how attractive she is. Maybe that’s your answer. The why has to do with him, not how attractive his partner is.

 

I think you gave a great answer. The reason imo it got a bit off topic is the question itself implies that a man’s choice to PMO has something to do with his partner or how good looking she is, but it does not. So the answers from many reflected that. I think the OP is looking for a reason that just is not there. A PMO addict dating a 10, would still PMO just as much as a PMO addict that’s dating a 5. One has nothing to do with the other and I think the reason the SOs got so upset, is that there is an implication (not explicit) that a man’s choice to PMO is somehow the fault of the SO, meaning if she were more attractive, he would not have to do that. That strikes a nerve with SOs because we face constant blame like this.

 

Exactly.

 

The “why” is easy: Because masturbation feels good and our partners don’t always want to have sex at the same time as us, or they aren’t around.

There isn’t much of an issue with that unless it crosses a boundary and becomes a legitimate addiction that has negative effects, like for many of the people on this forum.

I think the premise in of this thread itself seems kind of silly anyway, and comes with its own preconceptions whether or not OP intended it.

 

check Don Juan movie with Scarlett Johansson:-D

 

I think movie shows some porn on the screen IIRC. It might not be the best for everyone.

 

我同意你的说法

 

Men, like goldfish, will endlessly consume until they explode. The only solution is not more, but less. Diet is the solution to obesity as it is with the hypersexed.